How Can I Show A Cat That Everything Is Ok?

[Tais]

Hi guys, i just moved into this apartment a week ago, and my roommate has a 8 years old female cat, Luna, and I moved in with my 3 years old male cat, Pepe. They are both fixed. I wanted Pepe to have a cat company that's why I chose this apartment. I did the slow adaptation(separated rooms, smell first, then visual contact). They can be in the same room (with my supervision), no fight so far. Pepe is completely fine, he tries to approach her slowly, but she hisses, then he just stops. Luna hisses but has never attacked and is not in attack position either, even when pepe gets pretty close. What I'm worried about is that Luna is hissing at me also, which makes it difficult to do the adaptation with Pepe. I understand she is defending her territory, but how can I show her everything is ok when she also sees me as an intruder? My roommate is never home, so it could be that she is lonely, jealous of all the attention I give my cat. Any advice on how I can get her to relax would be appreciated. I feed her, I play with her, I talk to her, try to spend time with her... But at the end she still hisses. She completely changes when my roommate is home, she goes back to be a sweet cat, even with me. How can I do this adaptation easier without my roommate since she is never home?
Thank you!!

 

[di and bob]

She is an older female so perfectly normal. They are the 'manners teachers' in the house and rule with an iron paw. Especially with younger males. Hisses are what they do.
A week is not long at all in a cat's world, she is still very unsure of you and your intruder you brought to her house. She feels more protected and comfortable with her human at home so is able to accept you more readily then. Hisses mean she is unsure and not comfortable with something, so just keep doing what you are, tell her it's OK, offer her and your boy some treats and time will take care of the rest. When cats are scared they project that fear onto everything near, she accepts you and your attentions, but hisses because of her fear of your little one. Cats move in slow motion when confronted with a threat, so any sudden movements sets off her fera and she can't contain it. We humans move much too quickly, and approach cats when they are warning us off, which escalates their fear and aggression. Try to have her approach you and wait for her to do so. They may never become sleeping buddies, but they will become friends and provide entertainment for each other. As long as there are not full blown fights with deep bites and scratches everything is fine. Husses, growls, and slaps are normal. I think everything sounds good, no fights means they are learning to adjust. All the luck!

 

[epona]

I'm not being funny, but you just majorly disrupted an older girl's territory and her own feeling of security and safety by bringing an interloper into her midst - of course she is hissing. She didn't advertise for a room-mate. An older cat who isn't used to feline company is going to feel awful about that.

 

[Tais]

di and Bob, you explained so well! I feel so much better understanding what is going on with her. Thank you so much!

She is an older female so perfectly normal. They are the 'manners teachers' in the house and rule with an iron paw. Especially with younger males. Hisses are what they do.
A week is not long at all in a cat's world, she is still very unsure of you and your intruder you brought to her house. She feels more protected and comfortable with her human at home so is able to accept you more readily then. Hisses mean she is unsure and not comfortable with something, so just keep doing what you are, tell her it's OK, offer her and your boy some treats and time will take care of the rest. When cats are scared they project that fear onto everything near, she accepts you and your attentions, but hisses because of her fear of your little one. Cats move in slow motion when confronted with a threat, so any sudden movements sets off her fera and she can't contain it. We humans move much too quickly, and approach cats when they are warning us off, which escalates their fear and aggression. Try to have her approach you and wait for her to do so. They may never become sleeping buddies, but they will become friends and provide entertainment for each other. As long as there are not full blown fights with deep bites and scratches everything is fine. Husses, growls, and slaps are normal. I think everything sounds good, no fights means they are learning to adjust. All the luck!

She is an older female so perfectly normal. They are the 'manners teachers' in the house and rule with an iron paw. Especially with younger males. Hisses are what they do.
A week is not long at all in a cat's world, she is still very unsure of you and your intruder you brought to her house. She feels more protected and comfortable with her human at home so is able to accept you more readily then. Hisses mean she is unsure and not comfortable with something, so just keep doing what you are, tell her it's OK, offer her and your boy some treats and time will take care of the rest. When cats are scared they project that fear onto everything near, she accepts you and your attentions, but hisses because of her fear of your little one. Cats move in slow motion when confronted with a threat, so any sudden movements sets off her fera and she can't contain it. We humans move much too quickly, and approach cats when they are warning us off, which escalates their fear and aggression. Try to have her approach you and wait for her to do so. They may never become sleeping buddies, but they will become friends and provide entertainment for each other. As long as there are not full blown fights with deep bites and scratches everything is fine. Husses, growls, and slaps are normal. I think everything sounds good, no fights means they are learning to adjust. All the luck!

 

[Tais]

??? Of course she is hissing? That's supposed to be helpful? I asked what I can do to help her feel better, I guess it means that my plan was not to make her suffer. "Thanks" for the helpful comment.

I'm not being funny, but you just majorly disrupted an older girl's territory and her own feeling of security and safety by bringing an interloper into her midst - of course she is hissing. She didn't advertise for a room-mate. An older cat who isn't used to feline company is going to feel awful about that.

 

[Caspers Human]

I'd say that the best thing you can do is to make your behavior the model for how you want the cats to behave.

If you go around trying to "engineer" their social behavior, they will not learn what to expect from each other because you are interfering in the negotiation process that they must both go through.

You set the limits... For example, hissing and swatting are okay but no biting.
(Or whatever you decide should be their limits.)

As long as the cats don't go beyond your limits, you let them do whatever they want. But, the second you see them going at it too rough, you put your foot down.

The first time, you tell them, "No! Stop fighting!"

The second time, you intervene a little bit. Clap your hands. Stomp your feet. Yell, "HEY!! NO FIGHTING!!"

On the third strike, both cats get separated and get a time out in separate rooms with the door closed for fifteen minutes.

Remember, your behavior models how they will behave.

If you act all nervous and holler too much, the cats will become skittish and they will never learn how to behave around each other.

If you quietly keep an eye on them but don't do anything unless they misbehave they will learn a lot faster, how to behave around each other and around you.

 

[epona]

??? Of course she is hissing? That's supposed to be helpful? I asked what I can do to help her feel better, I guess it means that my plan was not to make her suffer. "Thanks" for the helpful comment.

I didn't mean to be rude or unhelpful, honestly - but a cats number one concern is security of its territory, they are territorial animals - another cat turning up is always going to be problematic, if you have a cat you can't just expect it to get along with any newcomers happily with no adjustment period.

And sometimes cats, especially older females tbh, do not want other cats in their core territory.

I'd recommend using Feliway plug ins in every room, that may help settle things a bit.