how can I fix this?

[bennetts mum]

a week or two ago, my cat Bennett and I were best friends, and we'd bonded closer than I'd ever expected. she would climb on my lap, make muffins, and lay down, in the morning, she'd come over from the end of the bed, wake me up, and then curl up in my arms, she loved being petted, and she'd pat my face with her paws in return. she also would follow me and jump as near as possible to where I was sitting/laying/standing, and lay on top of my feet when I cooked in the kitchen.
lately, she hasn't done any of this. a lot of the time when I try to pet her, she bites me, gets up and moves, or lowers her back so I can't touch her. other times she stiffens up. she comes and wakes me up in the morning, but when I try to pet her, she gets up and hops down from my bed. when it's bedtime and we'd normally be in bed together, she sits in the hallway and stares at me.
I don't know what made her change so drastically. I've never hit her, or hurt her in any way. I do fight with my mother a lot, which includes raised, angry voices, but other than that there's nothing that's been super traumatizing to make her act this way.
she's six months old, and my mother did suggest that maybe those were kitten things, that she was growing out of. the thing is, she didn't do those when she was a littler kitten, and she's stopped doing them now, so I do think that it's my fault, and I don't know what to do to make her love and trust me again.

 

[smartyfoj]

The only advice I have is because your cat recently started biting you, not just being distant she might be in pain and in need of a check up by a vet. But if you think she is healthy, I understand.  It is my opinion that cats go through phases sometimes my cat wants more snuggles and sometimes is more of an independent little one.

With regards to Bennett's health, have you noticed any change in eating, sleeping, playing, litter box usage? If you have noticed any changes in those habits I would really recommend a vet visit.

As far as fighting some cats are really bothered by loud noises but it hard to say that would be the cause of your sweet cat turning on you so I wouldn't say it is your fault.

I do understand your concern you just want everything to be back to way it was so good luck, I hope you kitty starts being sweet again!

 

[mservant]

@SmartyFOJ has given some good advice here, and I think it is really important you have your cat see a vet for a thorough health check.  While it is possible she might feel stressed by regular arguments I would not expect her to change her behaviour to this extent.  If she is only 6 months old and taking herself off on her own and has changed her sleeping and cuddling habits this much it is most likely due to a health issue and or physical pain of some sort.  She is going through a phase in her life where she will be teething, hormones coming in to play, and her body has a lot of stresses on it as a result of these.  You do not mention if she has been spayed but if not I would suggest you talk with your vet about this when you see them as her behaviour could change a lot if she goes in to heat.

Think about whether there have been any other changes like those menioned above, but even if you can not think of any I would advise taking her to the vet.  

My boy Mouse started to take himself off on his own much more and wasn't cuddling up with me in bed from when he was about 7 months and graadually stopped playing as much too.  I thought he wasn't happy staying with me andn didn't realize that his behaviour had changed because he was in a lot of pain and felt sick due to severe mouth and throat infections.  Once the infections were treated he went right back to being the pesky little cuddlebug that he had been before.  I seriously regretted not realizing it could be a health problem sooner.

If your vet says they can not find anything wrong and does think Bennett is stressed then look at where she has to feel safe and have quiet time in your home, and look at when the arguments take place, think about how she may experience these and if there is any way you can give her a calmer, safer feeling home.  Fingers crossed your vet finds a reason for this change in her behaviour which is not serious and that she returns to being your lovely, snuggly, muffin maker again soon. 

 

[bennetts mum]

@SmartyFOJ  she's been eating alot more ravenously than she normally does, and sleeping a lot more. she also hasn't been pooping as often, even though she eats like she's hungry all the time.
when we play, she gets tired or just disinterested more quickly than I think she normally did before.
Thank you for the good luck wishes. =]

@MServant  she was spayed by her breeder a week before I took her home, so I don't think it's because of hormone changes. :/ 
It's a little reassuring to know that there could be a concrete solution rather than one I'd be more unsure of how to fix. But I still very much dislike the idea that my little love is in pain.  I wish she could speak and tell me what's wrong.
I did some poking around online, and discovered that Ragdolls have the tendency to develop heart problems. I checked her for physical symptoms, and noticed that her paw pads have dark brown spots when a healthy bicolor's paw pads are pink. after more poking around, I saw that it can be a sign of heart problems, as well as difficulty breathing, and increased sleepiness, which she's been dealing with.
Since our usual vet isn't in on weekends, I have plans to monitor her throughout the next few days and then take her in early this week. I hope it's not serious. She is my whole heart, and I don't want her to hurt in a way I can't fix.

If it's the arguing, I'm not really sure how to make her feel more safe other than what I've been doing. Trying to reduce arguing, approaching her from a crouching position, singing/talking in a soft voice, giving her small treats...what do you do when your boy feels stressed out?

 

[mservant]

I gave my boy more than his fair share of grief in his first couple of years as I was really stressed out with work and would be upset quite a lot of the time, and that started to get worse around the time he got more withdrawn which is why I initially thought maybe he wasn't happy with me.  I tried to be relaxed and calm around him, and would lay in bed listening to book CDs so we could try and relax together if he'd join me, things like that.  It made far more sense once I realized he was sick.  I also used plug in Feliway diffusers most of the time until early last year.   I think it is more likely your little Bennett has something going on with her health, maybe sore mouth due to teething, and if she is Ragdoll it is worth checking her heart too.  Some kittens can get sore joints too and might still be moving and jumping around but feel pain.  They also manage to injure themselves fairly frequently and eat things they shouldn't!    It can be so many things and cats don't show pain like people do so it is hard to tell - being withdrawn is one of the main signs you can look out for, as is a cat that likes to be touched normally suddenly changing, or not grooming themselves as much.

I hope very much that it isn't something serious and your regular vet has positive news and advice for you.  I know how I felt when Mouse was choosing to be alone when he was younger and I didn't know there was a physical reason for it, and I also know I would have felt a lot better if I had known about the possible signs of pain and taken him to the vet sooner.  You are among like minded people on TCS, for many of us our hearts belong to our fur-family and I will not be the only person reading your post and imagining how I would be feeling sitting where you are now.  I do not think that she is quiet and finding her own space because of anything you have done or are doing, I think you are an observant kitten-mom and you will observe her further over the next couple of days until you can take her along to a vet who knows her.  Please try to think positively until then as if there is something not right for her it does not have to be the worst thing in any medical book, it just has to be something that is making her feel bad - like a cold or a toothache would us.  You are taking care of her, stay somewhere around her and talk gently with her, offer her company if she wants it, and see how she responds.  Make notes of anything you want to mention to or ask the vet because if you are anything like me I always forget something and it is usually the main thing!