Sunshine has had his bought of traumas and has since become a very scaredy cat.
When he was a year old, he'd love to ride in his high seat in the car especially at night to watch the lights and even better the Christmas lights; ride in his pouch on my chest and take walks under the trees at the park on a harness and visit "Grandma" at her house at least 3 days a week. He'd go with me to outdoor fairs, on multi-day trips. Then the first trauma came:
I took him over the Grandma's house several times after she got full grown rescue cocker spaniels. The last straw was after I'd gotten him a cat-show two/three story cage to use to get used to the dogs. He got so scared of the dogs, more scared even that he already was, that he pooped next to himself and stayed there. (I've sense learned that the dogs should have been the ones caged so he could get used to their scents while still feeling safe.)
Now he hates to even think about going outside for a ride in the car. He gets violent and has even gotten in the habit of being terribly frightened as soon as I get out of the shower in the morning and get dressed. This happened so much at one point that when he had to go to the vet I'd put him in his carrier as soon as I got out of bed, still do. That brings me to his second trauma:
I found a lotion that really worked well on my skin: Eucerin. I traded my old lotion for it for a year or more. I did not put two and two together until I was talking to my sister about the same type of behavior in her cat; only it happened after she used a certain sponge. She'd go to pet her and he'd put his ears back, hiss and swat and run. It was then that it hit me, there is urea in the lotion I like. I immediately stopped using it, went back to my old lotion and after a while he stopped being afraid of me every morning. I'd get ready for work and let him sniff my hand with the old lotion and eventually he understood that I wasn't going to smell odd. That brings me to the next trauma:
A few years ago we moved to a ground level apartment (and now a ground level home). He was raised in a second story apartment. In the first story apartment at night several times something came close to the bedroom window he was sleeping in and caused him to attack the window violently and totally mad-kitty style. I had to tack a sheet to the window after that. He did like to still go outside on a harness onto the half-underground small porch for the most part.
He loves to go outside on his harness now that we have an open yardspace. I hook him to the sliding door handle on a long leash and for the most part he loves it. However, he does get upset when people or other animals walk by and he runs back in the house. Twice now, while hiding, he's gotten himself wound up on the table, cat tree and chair that sit by the door. I've not noticed that he's been trapped and when I go to check on him he attacks me. He attacked me so harshly a week ago that I had to put on my rose gloves to get him loose from the leash so he could hide. I've since tried to make it very difficult for him to get tangled. He's not gone back outside since, nor has he asked to go out. That brings me to his latest trauma: me.
Good grief I can be a dense kittymommy sometimes. I'm really glad that I came back to this site and read through some cat behavioral posts so I could be reminded about what was going on with Sunshine. Sadly it was too late for the incident this morning. I now realize that I was stupid to go and ask for some attention after he'd been by the window and saw something outside that wound him up. He was in attack mode and well, couldn't attack what was outside so he hissed at me. But dunce-head me hissed and growled back at him. I used to do this when he was a kitten to stop him from biting me when we played or doing other things I disapproved of. Worked wonders at that time, but no longer works. It only makes things worse. So, I've traumatized my kitty once again.
I don't want to cut him off from looking out the windows. He LOVES this. So I'll just have to mind my behavior when I see the "crazy kitty eyes" look.
Is there a way for me to apologize when I've been a jackass to my cat? He just wants to be left alone, I know this. But when he is done being upset he snuggles with me a lot more and makes me feel better about our fight. This comes sometimes 12 or more hours afterwords. I just wish there was a way to say, "I'm sorry. I was a jackass. I'll try to do better next time." And have him know I was sorry.
He's the sunshine of my life and my best friend and I hate to have made him permanently frightened of me or to equate me with trauma. I'm afraid he does.
Sincerely, Rose
When he was a year old, he'd love to ride in his high seat in the car especially at night to watch the lights and even better the Christmas lights; ride in his pouch on my chest and take walks under the trees at the park on a harness and visit "Grandma" at her house at least 3 days a week. He'd go with me to outdoor fairs, on multi-day trips. Then the first trauma came:
I took him over the Grandma's house several times after she got full grown rescue cocker spaniels. The last straw was after I'd gotten him a cat-show two/three story cage to use to get used to the dogs. He got so scared of the dogs, more scared even that he already was, that he pooped next to himself and stayed there. (I've sense learned that the dogs should have been the ones caged so he could get used to their scents while still feeling safe.)
Now he hates to even think about going outside for a ride in the car. He gets violent and has even gotten in the habit of being terribly frightened as soon as I get out of the shower in the morning and get dressed. This happened so much at one point that when he had to go to the vet I'd put him in his carrier as soon as I got out of bed, still do. That brings me to his second trauma:
I found a lotion that really worked well on my skin: Eucerin. I traded my old lotion for it for a year or more. I did not put two and two together until I was talking to my sister about the same type of behavior in her cat; only it happened after she used a certain sponge. She'd go to pet her and he'd put his ears back, hiss and swat and run. It was then that it hit me, there is urea in the lotion I like. I immediately stopped using it, went back to my old lotion and after a while he stopped being afraid of me every morning. I'd get ready for work and let him sniff my hand with the old lotion and eventually he understood that I wasn't going to smell odd. That brings me to the next trauma:
A few years ago we moved to a ground level apartment (and now a ground level home). He was raised in a second story apartment. In the first story apartment at night several times something came close to the bedroom window he was sleeping in and caused him to attack the window violently and totally mad-kitty style. I had to tack a sheet to the window after that. He did like to still go outside on a harness onto the half-underground small porch for the most part.
He loves to go outside on his harness now that we have an open yardspace. I hook him to the sliding door handle on a long leash and for the most part he loves it. However, he does get upset when people or other animals walk by and he runs back in the house. Twice now, while hiding, he's gotten himself wound up on the table, cat tree and chair that sit by the door. I've not noticed that he's been trapped and when I go to check on him he attacks me. He attacked me so harshly a week ago that I had to put on my rose gloves to get him loose from the leash so he could hide. I've since tried to make it very difficult for him to get tangled. He's not gone back outside since, nor has he asked to go out. That brings me to his latest trauma: me.
Good grief I can be a dense kittymommy sometimes. I'm really glad that I came back to this site and read through some cat behavioral posts so I could be reminded about what was going on with Sunshine. Sadly it was too late for the incident this morning. I now realize that I was stupid to go and ask for some attention after he'd been by the window and saw something outside that wound him up. He was in attack mode and well, couldn't attack what was outside so he hissed at me. But dunce-head me hissed and growled back at him. I used to do this when he was a kitten to stop him from biting me when we played or doing other things I disapproved of. Worked wonders at that time, but no longer works. It only makes things worse. So, I've traumatized my kitty once again.
I don't want to cut him off from looking out the windows. He LOVES this. So I'll just have to mind my behavior when I see the "crazy kitty eyes" look.
Is there a way for me to apologize when I've been a jackass to my cat? He just wants to be left alone, I know this. But when he is done being upset he snuggles with me a lot more and makes me feel better about our fight. This comes sometimes 12 or more hours afterwords. I just wish there was a way to say, "I'm sorry. I was a jackass. I'll try to do better next time." And have him know I was sorry.
He's the sunshine of my life and my best friend and I hate to have made him permanently frightened of me or to equate me with trauma. I'm afraid he does.
Sincerely, Rose
