Hi. I'm new, please help!

[casper55]

Hello, I'm new here and desperate for some advice.

We got a cat about 2 months ago. He's 4.5 months old, neutered.

Everything has been going great, he's sweet and cuddly but lately he's been biting my 18 month old daughter, Not hard, but it makes me nervous. He'll be laying down and she'll walk over and pet him on his back and he just turns around and nips her hand. (Again, not hard at all) he has never scratched and there's no hissing or anything. It's more like a "get away from me" bite.
If he's sleepy or very relaxed he won't care if she's touching him, it's only during his alert and active times.

he doesn't mind being picked up and when I have him and she's petting him, he's fine with it. It's mostly if she goes upto him on her own. I love him, my 6 year old son loves him and my daughter is crazy about him but I don't know if the biting will become more serious or if he can hurt her, I don't know if he's being aggressive or if he's just "warning" her.

I supervise very closely and she's really gentle with him, maybe he's nervous because she's loud and constantly running around or chasing him?

What do you think? What should I do? Today I saw her lean over trying to kiss him and he opened his mouth, he could've got her in the face.. it worries me.

 

[goblinsmom]

This is definitely a situation to monitor, as cat bites can be nasty.

Although you're supervising, is there ever a time that perhaps she could have gotten too rough with kitty and caused him pain that he's holding a grudge over? If not, it's extremely likely that he is just freaked out about her "constantly chasing him." That is definitely behavior that can't be allowed, as it is possibly going to end up a cause of harm to your daughter and is obviously stressful for kitty. Also, do not allow her to get up in his face - even my cat doesn't like this, and I don't chase and scare him on a regular basis.

I'm trying my best to be sensitive to this matter as obviously the safety of your children is paramount, but it sounds as if more control/discipline is in order. Don't let the baby chase the cat, don't let her get in his face, and try to closely monitor their interactions, IE, try to only let her pet him while you are holding him. Perhaps in time he will get more comfortable interacting with her.

Obviously this is going to be difficult to implement with a toddler, but one of the best things you can do is give kitty his own space. Get a couple of cat trees and/or high shelves that he has access to, so that he can escape out of her reach when he's feeling threatened or overwhelmed. Feed him and put his litter box in a room that the baby does not have access to, so that he feels he can take care of his basic needs without having to watch his back all the time. There are also numerous articles online about how to introduce cats and children, and how to discourage aggressive behavior. But please be understanding to kitty; you're worried for your daughter, but from his point of view, he is being terrorized by a running, screaming giant.

Good luck.

 

[casper55]

She has stepped on his foot before, not on purpose.. do you think he's holding a grudge because of that? I try to monitor as best as I can and stop her if I see her chasing him, a lot of people told me it's probably play biting and even though he's not doing it hard, he doesn't look like he's playing...

 

[casper55]

I also want to add that he will go and lay right in front of her sometimes for a nap. Wherever she's playing, he'll just go and lay there.

 

[Primula]

She has stepped on his foot before, not on purpose.. do you think he's holding a grudge because of that? I try to monitor as best as I can and stop her if I see her chasing him, a lot of people told me it's probably play biting and even though he's not doing it hard, he doesn't look like he's playing...

You're right to worry. It is not play biting. I think he is biting her because she is disturbing him in some way. And he definitely would remember if she has previously stepped on his foot. I would not allow my cats to bite me for any reason. The only thing you can do is supervise your daughter when she is anywhere close to him - easy for me to say, I know. You don't want this to escalate because you love them both.

 

[casper55]

What do I do when I see he's biting? i know I have to remove her immediately but how do I let him know that it's not ok? Someone told me to blow a puff in his face or tap him on the side?

 

[Primula]

What do I do when I see he's biting? i know I have to remove her immediately but how do I let him know that it's not ok? Someone told me to blow a puff in his face or tap him on the side?

I once read that you can tap gently on his nose, which is what his mother did. Not sure if this really works.

Could you get a water bottle & squirt a little in his face? My cats run as soon as they see the bottle.

I don't have children & I don't think I've had this problem. I've had kittens who bite & scratch. In that case you immediately give them a soft toy as a substitute for the hands.

 

[casper55]

I have a water bottle that I use when he's on the counter top or trying to bolt out of the door, I would need to carry it around in my pocket to squirt him whenever I see him trying to nip. I've tried blowing in his face and he doesn't really like that, I will try the tap on the nose.
He's the sweetest cat ever, I hate to think that he's in stress and I would hate to see my daughter hurt.

Today was a bit better, she pet him at his calmest times and when she tried chasing him, I just distracted her with something else..

I can't wait till the kitten and toddler phase are over [emoji]128522[/emoji]

 

[casper55]

IMG_1119.JPG

• casper55
• Oct 5, 2016

this is my little mush

 

[goblinsmom]

You will find conflicting opinions on how to react to a biting cat. Personally, I would never physically punish my animal (water bottle, striking, etc.) When he snaps at her, I would say "no!" and perhaps loudly clap my hands (although, not right in his face.) And then stop giving him attention completely. Again, this is personal preference, but I have had cats in the past that I've disciplined with water bottles and all it did was make them afraid to come near me. I have read, that if you do make that choice, to try and make sure that the cat doesn't actually see YOU with the water bottle so that they don't associate you with displeasure. Praise him when he interacts with your daughter without snapping, such as giving him extra love and maybe some treats.

If it all possible, definitely give the cat escapes, like I mentioned above. Also, is he neutered? If not, do that ASAP. That can solve many behavior problems. I'm hoping that with a combination of modifications (escape routes, praise, teaching him no, getting him fixed etc) and time, this issue will solve. If you can find a way to safely manage it until your daughter is older and can reasonably learn how to interact with kitty, hopefully you won't have to worry anymore!

I know this is a tough situation and I can imagine your concern/frustration. I hope it works out for all of you! Keep us posted.

 

[goblinsmom]

Aw, thanks for the picture! He's suuuper cute. [emoji]128525[/emoji]

 

[Primula]

Aw, thanks for the picture! He's suuuper cute. [emoji]128525[/emoji]

She told us in her OP that the cat is neutered.

 

[goblinsmom]

She told us in her OP that the cat is neutered.

I missed that, thank you!

 

[casper55]

He has a high cat tree, he hardly ever goes on top of it. I saw him running from her today, so, I picked him up and put him on top and he seemed pleased and stayed up there for a while, until she stopped going after him.

Thank you all so much for the replies.

 

[goblinsmom]

He has a high cat tree, he hardly ever goes on top of it. I saw him running from her today, so, I picked him up and put him on top and he seemed pleased and stayed up there for a while, until she stopped going after him.

Thank you all so much for the replies.

Excellent! Maybe if you keep putting him up there, he'll learn that's the thing to do.

Goblin has a window bed that affixes to the window with suction cups. He really loves it up there, he rolls around in it and lays there for hours... but only if I PUT him there. Sometimes they're just brats. Lol.

 

[pearl99]

I had at cat who was 3 years old when my daughter was born, and when she started walking we had to watch closely, I would feed him and put treats in the cat tower to encourage him to be there, positive reinforcement for the tower. I'd have times when they are separated too to give the cat some time to be alone and decompress if that's possible, it will give you some time you know all is safe also.

I've had good luck with the squirt bottle for situations like this- he would see me with it and know "uh oh." If he didn't see it he was his usual affectionate self. I'd aim for my cat's body. I didn't  have to use it very often. And yes had to carry it around. ANd the loud "NO!" with another type of noise worked for the cat- I actually had a little bicycle horn to squeeze because I couldn't always get off a loud enough clap- sounds silly but, he learned the loud NO meant business that way. Just for I bit I had to have something else loud.

However, my with daughter's new cat (she's now 24 years old ) the squirt bottle doesn't phase him- he's a kitten.

I also from the get-go taught my daughter how to be around the cat- gentle, touch slow and soft, etc. She will learn eventually but have to keep up the supervision.

Good luck to you!

 

[Columbine]

I have to say that punishments like a squirt bottle are NEVER a good way to go. Our reaction times just aren't fast enough for the cat to associate the punishment with the behaviour, and all you'll do is make your cat nervous, or even scared of you.[article="29678"][/article][article="32493"][/article]

It sounds to me like your cat is simply nervous of your daughter or is worried by her behaviour. Sure, she's being gentle and is closely supervised, but the louder, less predictable movements of a toddler are most likely too much for him to cope with. He's simply responding by gently telling her to back off. He's probably giving more subtle body language signs that he's uncomfortable before showing his teeth, and she's simply too young to be able to take note of them.

To me, the answer is to teach your daughter that she's only allowed to approach and pet the cat when you're holding him. He clearly feels safer that way, and it also puts you in an ideal position to pick up the early warning signs and prevent the situation from escalating. Soft paws claw covers would be a good security measure too, as they'll prevent any scratches from drawing blood.

It's wonderful that your daughter loves your cat so much. Why not get her involved with other aspects of cat care, such as helping you to feed him? This will have the added bonus of your cat associating your daughter with good things, and will help him build up confidence around her. This really will be the key to getting him to relax and stop seeing her as a threat.

Remember, too, that he's still a baby himself. Kittens are often more skittish and easily spooked than older cats, so you need to be patient with him as well. Daily interactive playtime will help drain any excess energy in a positive way, as well as being a great confidence builder. Again, this may be away to get your daughter involved, but be sure she's not waving the toys in his face - keeping the toy moving away from him is key here. After all, play is to simulate a hunt, and it's a VERY rare mouse that would run TOWARDS a cat :lol3: [article="22328"][/article]

[article="22480"][/article][article="32656"][/article][article="0"][/article][article="30002"][/article]

 

[belochka]

What Columbine said.
Little children, especially toddlers, are not aware yet and have little contort over how gently or how rough they are with things. It may not be very noticeable for human adults, but for animals even the subtle nuances are meaningful.
1) animals are very, very sensitive to physical touch and contact. Much much more so than any human.
2) even from a physical perspective - a little toddler is not little size wise for a cat. A toddler is big and with her poorly controlled movements and unpredictability can appear threatening and/or as a source of discomfort for a cat.
3) moreover, add to this that cats are very particular about personal boundaries, preferred forms of interaction and do on and so forth, AND some cats are more sensitive than others - some are more easily stimulated than others - your cat's reaction is absolutely normal.

Whenever an animal sets limits, those preferences should be respected.

And to his big credit - he is really trying to be gentle by giving these warnings.

Overall as much as animals - cats in this case - have so much in common with us, they are creatures with their own world, their own perceptive and understanding of the world around them including humans.
That's why sometimes their reactions can be difficult to understand and even unpredictable. But they should be respected. Same as when we set our personal boundaries and express displeasure when they are crossed.

So while there needs to be constant supervision as some ppl pointed out, it will be best to teach your daughter how she can and cannot interact with the cat. Apparently something about the way she pets and/or touches him causes him discomfort - so he is expressing his disagreement and is trying to set his personal boundaries the only way cats do. So his behavior is a normal cat behavior.
So it's your daughter's interaction with him that needs to be changed. And since you both are human it will be much easier and more successful to teach your daughter than trying to make the cat change his cat ways .

 

[Norachan]

I really wouldn't recommend using a squirt bottle.

Cat's aren't able to make the connection between this behavior = not allowed = squirt bottle. If you try to discipline a cat this way all they know is that you have attacked them. They don't know why and they are more likely to become aggressive because they now associate people = squirt bottle. It can actually make the biting problem much worse.

2 things I would like to suggest.

More cat trees and kitty shelving. Your cat needs to be able to get all the way around the room while remaining out of your daughter's reach. He probably already uses the back of the couch or the top of the book shelf to get from A to B. You need to give him a route all the way around without touching the floor. As long as he has his own space that he can escape to and give himself time to decompress when your daughter is being too boisterous for him he won't feel the need to lash out.

Get your daughter a big, plush toy cat to play with. If you can find one that looks a bit like your cat, all the better. You could get her a soft brush to brush the toy with and a few different colour bows to wear. Tell her that this toy is her cat and that she has to take care of him. Let her name him and "feed" him at the same time your cat gets fed. You can use her toy cat to teach her things such as "Don't pull the tail" or "Don't put things in his ears" or "This is the best way to pick him up" etc.

She's growing up fast. If she learns how to handle her toy cat gently now she'll know how to handle your cat when she's a little older. As long as your cat feels safe and doesn't start to associate people with being squirted or chased he'll still have his sweet, loving nature when she's ready to start playing with the real cat.

 

[rasalghul]

ok so people are probably going to hate me but...  this is what has worked for me.  

My cat had started biting me and playing rough around that age.  I hated that because, even though they think they are just playing, it hurts.  Their teeth are sharp and that's definitely nothing to ignore.  So what I started doing is tapping him on the head and saying "NO!" in a stern voice.  I took 1 time for him to learn that is not an acceptable behavior.  He let out a "brrrrrrt" and jumped out of my lap and ran off.  After that, he rarely bites anymore, he learned what the word "no" means, and he fully respects me.  He is not the least bit aggressive.  We also use the squirt bottle with him when we catch him doing something he's not supposed to be doing and he never repeats behavior that we've corrected this way.  

Honestly, saying not to correct your cat with a squirt bottle or a gentle tap on the head is like saying not to discipline your children.  If you don't discipline, they WILL walk all over you and you will end up with bigger problems in the end.  As long as you are still loving and affectionate with your cat, discipline will not make him/her aggressive.  

then again, that's just what has worked for me and my opinion.