Helping out a friend...

[quickbeam]

Hi, I am looking for some advice, sorry for the amount of background information.... 

I have a wonderful 1 year old male cat, he is sweet and very calm. Recently a friend has decided to go on work exchange abroad for the year and asked if I would care for her 12 year old female cat whilst she is gone. My husband and I agreed but only if the two cats would get on.

My boy is forever bringing home neighbourhood cats and seems to like cat company, my friend's cat is very sociable with people but has never lived with another cat. We understood that the fact my friend's cat had never lived with another cat would be difficult enough but that there is a big age gap between the two as well.

We knew the living situation probably wouldnt work but we were willing to try. We have followed lots of advice about slow introductions and sharing scents. My friend's cat M is in a 'safe room' and we have kept the door shut. Initially M hissed at the door whenever my boy D was near. This has improved however and she no longer immediately hisses when he comes to the door (he is so curious about this new cat). The last couple of days they have both spent part of the day asleep by the closed door - I'm not sure if this is a good sign, or whether they are keeping an eye on each other?

We have also been trying to simultaneously feed them on either side of the door, and M has recently begun to eat - my boy D would eat even if there was a pack of dogs running around him!

We have opened the door a crack several times and M has hissed and yowled at the door, before retreating back a few steps and staring at the door. My boy answered the yowls the first time we did it but now just lies down and watches the door without any reaction.

What I guess I am asking is do people think this is a workable situation from the initial interactions or are we creating a lot of stress on our precious boy to no avail? Should we start considering letting them meet?

I will add that I bought a feliway diffuser today along with the spray and have it all plugged in next to the safe room that M is currently in.

Sorry for the length of this message, but I am really keen for any advice people can give me

 

[catspaw66]

Welcome to TCS, Quickbeam. (I take it you are a Tolkien fan) Have you tried swapping scents? From what you say, I would try a short supervised session of face-to-face interaction. Keep a hold on D and if he or M start showing signs of aggression, cut the session off. Watch the ears of both of them, one of the first signs is the ears starting to lay down.

When you say your boy is forever bringing home neighborhood cats, I assume you mean your boy cat. Is he neutered? Be careful when exposing him to the female, if he is an indoor/outdoor cat. You don't want him giving her something her immune system isn't set up to fight.

 

[quickbeam]

Yes I'm a huge tolkien fan :-)

Both cats are neutured/spayed.

When I say he brings home cats, there are a couple of male and female neighbourhood cats who sit in the garden and he goes out and plays with them or just sits by them. Sometimes we can have 5 cats sitting in the garden with him.

The old girl was an indoor/outdoor cat too, but obviously we are keeping her in whilst she adjusts to us.

When you say any signs of hostility, is hissing and posturing acceptable? I love my boy to bits and worry about any stress affecting his personality or feelings towards me.

The old gal seems to have settled quite quickly considering she's spent the last 12 years in the same house and seems keen to explore beyond her safe room.

Thank you for replying so quickly, Data (D) and I thank you :-)

 

[tulosai]

Your cat does not seem stressed at all from your description, frankly.  The other cat is a different story.  I do think this is workable for sure, yes.  It is going to take some more time, but if that does not bother you this all sounds on track to me.  Scent swapping is definitely what you should do next as suggested above.

Good luck on this journey!

 

[catspaw66]

Hissing and posturing are fairly mild, as long as an attack doesn't follow. He is trying to show her he is the new Alpha cat. Trim their nails, and if you see them reacting badly to each other, go back a step in the introductions.

 

[quickbeam]

Thank you for the advice. I'm trying to keep things slow, but my friend is leaving the country in two weeks and is keen to know whether it will work before then (although I have told her cats go at their own pace!)

When we introduce them face to face is it better to do it in M's safe room or elsewhere in the house? Should someone be holding M as I hold Data or is it better to let M approach on her own? I had thought M's hissing and yowling was her attempt to show Data she was boss but could it be anxiety and fear that is fueling it too?

Sorry for all the questions, I just want to make sure I do it right for the well-being of both cats

 

[catspaw66]

Make sure they meet on neutral ground. M needs to have her safe room without any 'contamination' from Data. I wouldn't hold either cat, that is a good way to get bitten if the one you are holding feels threatened by the other one. In any introduction, there will be some hissing and yowling.  I would usually recommend doing this: www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats, but I realize that you are having to hurry up the process. In the Articles section (click on the banner at the top of the page), there is advice about breaking up cat fights also.

 

[quickbeam]

A few more questions, sorry to be a pain...

I have been swapping blankets for a few days now, letting each cat lie on a blanket for a couple of days and then giving it to the other cat to lie on. I have also been rubbing a clean cloth around Data's face and body and then letting M smell it and then putting it in her bed. Each time I have done this with M she hasn't hissed or had much of a reaction to Data's scent and she has been sleeping on the cloths and blankets with his scent on. I tried mutual feeding with treats but M just does not seem motivated by treats or food so that hasn't really gone to plan.

We let M out of her room a few days ago whilst her owner was here, Data was eating his dinner (when he eats nothing else in the world seems to exist!) M came downstairs and sat watching him from a distance but didn't hiss at him, I'm guessing that's a fairly encouraging sign?

M's safe room is upstairs and Data is usually asleep on the sofa downstairs, if I open M's safe room door and allow her to come down on her own, would that be an okay way for them to meet? Obviously I will sit with Data and I'll get my husband to keep an eye on M and I will make sure we are prepared to stop a fight.

Thanks
 

 

[catspaw66]

I would think that is the way to do it. Has she had a chance to explore with Data (does he have a human named Spot?) put in a bathroom or somewhere like that? I know time is getting short, but I would say they will get along fairly well. You ought to be able to reassure your friend that things are progressing well.

As an aside, I have about 22 Tolkien e-books in my collection, including the Valedictory address to the University of Oxford.