Helping Anxious New Cat

[claire2205]

I adopted a 4.5 year old male cat on Saturday. Whilst he was in the RSPCA centre with another cat, she was already reserved by someone else as they were happy for them to be rehoused separately. He had come from a case where 12 cats were living in 1 flat and does not in general get on with other cats at all (probably not surprisingly!) so isn’t considered suitable for pairing with another. He was in the rescue for 5 months.

So far he’s settling in well enough in that he’s explored his room, eaten, drank and used the litter tray from the start. He’s been sitting consistently in his cat carrier (which has a blanket in from the rescue) but as of this morning has taken to sitting on top of the wardrobe. He started showing some interest in exploring upstairs so i’ve left the spare room door open a crack if he wants to have a look round.

He’s very friendly, constantly looking to get in your face BUT he’s starting to get quite vocal when you leave him. It doesn’t last too long, maybe 5-10 minutes but as soon as he hears you moving around he starts again with a plaintive little cry seemed designed to break your heart!

I recognised the fact that he’s probably stressed and anxious and not used to being alone even if other cats weren’t exactly his best friend. I am willing to wait him out until he’s settled (even if he can make it hard for me to fall asleep) but i’m more concerned i’m not doing the right things for him.

He has absolutely every kitty comfort he could want and is eating etc fine so I’m not worried about his health but even so no one likes to hear an animal upset if they can do more for them!

I don’t respond to his little meows by going into his room and when I am in there I wait until he’s quiet before interacting with him. He definitely seems more confident and more inquisitive when i’m there. I have to go to work at the moment as I teach although I have holidays coming up in a week and a half and I come home early as I can in the afternoon. He has a feliway plug in.

When I am home how should I behave around him to help him? I don’t think I should be in there all the time as this would surely make it even worse for him when i’m not there.

I would be really grateful for any tips or reassurances that can help me to help him.

Thanks so much!

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Congrats on the adoption of your new cat.

Is he still in his "safe room" with the door closed, or is he just not yet brave enough to come out and roam the house?

If he's still in his "room", I'd say you've had him long enough now to open the door, and let him explore at his own pace.

Here's a TCS article that may have some helpful tips for you:
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home

 

[claire2205]

Thanks for the welcome.

He’s in his safe room still. If i’m upstairs he’ll have a wander round the bathroom and my bedroom but I haven’t seen any evidence yet that he’s willing to do that alone. The door is open just enough for him to come out but I wondered if leaving it wide open would be stressful for him.

It worries me that he cries every time he hears me walking nearby or if I leave the room. I don’t want to set him up with bad habits but I also don’t want him to be miserable and distressed. He hasn’t as yet shown other clear signs of stress except the crying and if it’s a case of carry on as I am and he’ll calm over time then so be it.

 

[rubysmama]

All cats are different and respond at different paces to their new homes. My Ruby girl acted like she'd always lived here as soon as I opened her cat carrier door. But it's not unusual for cats to even hide when first brought to new homes.

Here's a recent thread on What Was Your Cat's Behavior Like In The First Day? which may be interesting.

And a few more articles:
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me

 

[claire2205]

Thank you.

Essentially if the crying won’t do him any harm in the long run then I can tough it out and ignore him when I’m out of the room. I don’t want to encourage him to be clingy in the long term but I don’t want to distress him too much in the short term.

 

[rubysmama]

If it were me, I think I'd leave the door to his room wide open, and I'd encourage him to follow me when I left the room. But, as I mentioned, Ruby wasn't shy at all when I brought her home, so my situation was completely different.

Do you have a picture of him you could post?
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post

 

[claire2205]

A little update.

Yesterday Sully braved coming downstairs on his own to see me as I was sitting in the living room. He had a good explore but unsurprisingly kept looking for me to see if I was there still - likely security thing for him.

When I went to bed last night there were a few meows and I could hear him moving around the house a bit but otherwise quiet.

This morning when I went in his room there was some loose poop on the mat just outside his litter tray. The rest was in his tray. I don’t know if something scared him (I think I heard him bolting past my room when I was half asleep) or the bit of new food he’s had as upset his tummy but I cleaned it up as well as I could and made sure he only had the food he’s used to this morning.

Interestingly for the first time he came to have his food (which he ate most of), drank some water and had a bit of attention before he chose to jump on top of the wardrobe - his favourite spot - and settle down. He didn’t meow when I left or when I was walking around getting ready for work. I’m hoping this means he’s feeling a bit more settled and in a routine not just that his tummy hurts and he couldn’t be arsed!

 

[di and bob]

Is there a reason he can't be with you at night or all the time? He is lonely and it is pitiful that he hears you and cries to be with you. He has been through a lot of changes in the near past, and everything is so scary for him right now. He will settle down eventually, but if it were me, I would just leave the door open, put in another litter box at the other end of the house and let him do as he wants. One of my cat's greatest joys is the bedtime routine and going to bed with me. The purring and kneading is amazing!

 

[claire2205]

Because I doubt in the long term I would want him in there at night as I can’t sleep with my door open and he would be shut in there with me. Advice given was if you don’t want him in the bedroom then just shut him out from the start.

The rescue said that he was an affectionate chap generally who liked some attention but would let you know when he had enough. He wasn’t a cat that needed to be around people all the time but he’s still adjusting. If it was an option i’d get another cat but I was told he doesn’t like them at all.

 

[rubysmama]

It sounds like he's starting to get more comfortable in his new home.