HELP! Terrified of my new 6 year old cat !!

[maureen brad]

Matt, what an ordeal. It is wonderful that you have kept at it and things are improving. By all means feed him tuna but I would not do it every day. Tuna can be addictive and he may start to reject other food.He can't have an all tuna diet. I feed raw food but, I have found that when times are stressful a handful of Temptations treats do wonders. I use the chicken flavor. My cats go nuts for them when I have them. Play is also a great way to bond with your cat. I have a new cat and two others. All of the cats love this wand toy that has a little mouse on a wire. I wish I could remember the name. They also love 'Da Bird' there is a game I play with my very food motivated cats. I take a muffin tin and put treats in every space then, I cover the treats with toys and they have to fish them out.

I think with more and more good experiences with you your cat will come around.

My new cat loves me but hates my other cats. It is very stressful.

One more thing, this may be nothing but is worth considering.Do you wear a particular aftershave or cologne? I ask because I had one of my cats all of the sudden begin to hiss and growl at me. Every time I was near him he would flinch , hiss , growl and run from me. He still was great with my husband. I was so confused because I raised this cat and he had always loved me.I realized that started when I had begun to use a new lotion. It started the very first day I used it. I stopped using it and his behavior went back to normal. Cats are super sensitive to scent. Anyway, having dealt with anxiety much of my life I can sympathize with how you feel.

Try to be patient. Cat s don't work on people time and sometimes they take awhile to settle in. It will happen.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

OK.  I got here late, and most of the advice I'd have given you is already given, and very good it is, too.  Let me add, you were concerned that the difference in your weight and the previous owner's weight might be affecting the cat.  Strike that off the list.  Very much like dogs, to a cat you are scent and energy.

The fact that you are bipolar is probably a factor in Charlie's uncertainty on how to deal with this new person and place (remember...you are energy, and a very new one).  I know that you said you are on medication, and that's wonderful.  There are some good ones out there.  However, there is no such thing as a "magic pill."  All the medication can do is allow you to better deal with your cycles.  Yeah, I was a psychiatric technician at a state acute care facility, so I have some experience in this.  I have to ask, do you meditate?  I got grudging permission from our Chief of Staff to start meditation sessions with our bipolar patients, and over 80% of them found that their anxiety was significantly reduced.  20% of them had medication adjustments or dosages lowered.  It really seems to help with the anxiety.  There are any number of good dvds available to help you learn the techniques.  Hey, it couldn't hurt.  And even if the anxiety turns out not to be a factor in Charlie's problems, you'll feel better about things in general.

You are doing a wonderful job so far.  Cats can't be rushed.  They can take weeks to fully integrate into new surroundings.

Keep us posted!

 

[mservant]

It sounds to me like you are a good way along the road from 'stage 1' @CharlieCat1000.  Keep up with what you have been doing: everything you have said comes across positively and despite this recent hiss you should see Charlie settle in more to his new home and the two of you feeling more relaxed with each other.

I reckon a meditation or relaxation CD could work similarly to audio books, with Charlie interested in the voice and calm sounds together with you finding ways to be more still and calm.   Maybe we will see the Meditate with Matt and Charlie pack on our book/shop shelves soon - it has a certain ring to it.  

   Worth having another chat with your friend who came to visit you the other day to see if they could help you start proacticing?

By the way, is Charlie still sleeping on your bed?   I am wondering if you have managed to reclaim your place but then if Charlie sneeks up once you are sleeping?

 

[stewball]

I'll tell you something that upsets me. I have two cats. An abandoned siamese called whisky and a black and white street cat called blighty.
I also share my apartment with my ex, but NOT my bed. The cats love him more than they even like me. I feed them. Give them treats. Buy them toys. HA! Much good it does me.
So just keep trying with him. It'll work itself out. Try treats instead of tuna which really isn't good for him. Keep your chin up. It's early days. At least he comes out and doesn't hide for days as some cats do.

 

[charliecat1000]

Hi.....   

I thought that I must update everyone who reads this thread.....

Great news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   And it's all because of the help I received here!!!!

Yesterday was the last day Charlie "clawed me"
 

Something changed from yesterday evening....Last night and today he was all over me. 

No more hissing, growling or scratching.  This cat totally loves me.  I can pet him anytime.

Sometimes he acts like a cat in heat.   I can't believe I am writing this!!!!!!

He LOVES to be pet.  He is sitting right next to me.  So calm.  I play soothing music like Enigma. 

It helps to relax both of us.  I must have pet him for a total of 1 hour today already and it's only 8:22 AM

This is certanly  a breakthrough !!!!  What progress we have made.  Charlie is not scared of anything, he is a great cat!
 

I am so excited !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He says good morning to you all!!!

matt

 

[charliecat1000]

I'll tell you something that upsets me. I have two cats. An abandoned siamese called whisky and a black and white street cat called blighty.
I also share my apartment with my ex, but NOT my bed. The cats love him more than they even like me. I feed them. Give them treats. Buy them toys. HA! Much good it does me.
So just keep trying with him. It'll work itself out. Try treats instead of tuna which really isn't good for him. Keep your chin up. It's early days. At least he comes out and doesn't hide for days as some cats do.

Stewball it will get better.  Just make sure your cat sees you pouring his food.  That's what I had to do with Charlie. 

GOod Lck!

 

[mollyblue]

Congrats!  Having a cat love you immediately is wonderful, but building that relationship... its even better somehow. 

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I am so thrilled for you and Charlie.  Nothing but blue skies and smooth sailing ahead.  I love it when a good man and a cat come together.  BRAVO!

 

[mservant]

Great news, I am so happy both you and Charlie are relaxing and he is choosing to spend so much contact time with you.  Very special.   I don't get that much time from Mouse, if I get 5 minutes lap time I'm lucky though he does let me rub his belly several times a day - when he chooses, and sleeps at my feet at night.   Has Charlie decided that your bed is good for sharing now?   Hoping so.   Well done you for sticking at getting to know Chalrie and allowing him to get to know you.  Glad you like the same music.  

 

[grizzlysapien]

Hi @CharlieCat1000  and welcome! 

Boy, you've had a roller coaster going on the past few days! And I'm glad things are finally looking up! 

 Good job, mate!

I read through the thread, but I still have some questions.
 

1. The owners you got Charlie from, were his owners for 6 consecutive years? If so, why did they give him up for adoption? Or was Charlie a former abandoned/stray/feral cat that had a series of unsuccessful adoptions?
2. What was his behaviour towards you the day you first met him in the previous owners' home? Was he friendly to you (like to your friend)? Or hostile?
3. Other than looking away when he hisses at you, what else do you do?

 

[nessie]

It sounds like things are working out well now between you and Charlie, but if Charlie gets stressed and angry again, maybe you could try Feliway? I've never used it myself, but a friend who's had cats all her life said that it does a good job of calming cats down and making them more mellow. It comes in a diffuser as well as a spray, so you could just plug it into an outlet instead of trying to spray a cat with it. http://www.feliway.com/ca_en/Products/Feliway-Diffuser

I've heard that it doesn't work for all cats, though, but I thought it might be something worth looking into. Maybe a store or vet will be willing to give you a small free sample?