help please

[otto]

Originally Posted by Lil Annie

ya we have the feliway diffuser and the feliway spray. Both cats were sleeping before Haylo on our bed and Marigold on top of the fridge, I grabbed Marigold off the fridge and took her to the bedroom where Haylo was sleeping. I put them next to each other and they just stayed there, Marigold growled for a minute and then was quiet and stayed quietly beside Haylo.. No fighting this time.. Hopefully just a little bit more. If i keep putting them together when they have been sleeping will they just start to get use to each other?

Don't do that anymore. Let them adjust at their own pace. Things are going fine! if you try to rush or interfere it may make things go in the other direction.

 

[lil annie]

They are getting along fine even more now, but Marigold has now been peeing and pooping where she wants. The boyfriend has started disciplining her when she hisses at Haylo for whatever reason, and has been putting her into her kennel. I got home from work today and she peed and pooped in the kennel along with the occasional pee in the bedroom from when I moved her back in here. Is she acting out because of the discipline and her never really being disciplined and of course having to do with having another cat or is it something else?

 

[darlili]

Usually when a cat pees or poos outside the box, they're trying to tell you something - not out of spite or anger, but because something is wrong and the box is 'hurting' them.

I strongly suggest you get your girl into the vet for a UTI check - stress can bring these on, such as having a new cat in her home, daddy seeming upset with her, all that. Tell the vet the entire story, but I wouldn't be surprised if she does have a UTI, her bladder is irritated, she feels like she has to pee all the time and it hurts - and her box hurts her when she pees, so she's trying to find somewhere else it doesn't hurt.

Cats really truly don't react well to disciplining or negative reinforcement - they can learn from positive reinforcement, such as was suggested in other posts, and letting them go at their own pace.

In the meantime, I'd call the vet now for an urgent appointment, get some enzyme cleaners to clean up her carrier and other accident spots, get a couple of new litter boxes, just in case she associates the old ones with pain, and if you can move the boxes a bit, that's great as well. And, I always suggest Cat Attract litter if there's been a box issue - it worked well with my boy, and many people have had success with it. But, please, I beg you, get her into the vet for a check up.

 

[lil annie]

So Marigold decided to smarten up and not pee anywhere but the litter boxes now and they are finally getting along.. Here is a picture of them sitting by each other and not "killing" each other

 

[daphney]

you should really try the old towel trick. it's used between dogs and cats when they aren't getting along to releave some of the stress and gently ease them into getting to know each other. put the two cats in two separate rooms. give them each a small hand towel. Have them roll on it, sleep on it, eat on it, and play with it if possible. after 24 hrs, switch towels and repeat steps again. switch towels again and again. while doing the towel trick, give each cat a toy or two to play with. have them play with it as much as possible for 24 hrs, then switch toys. play with the swapped toys for a little bit, then take a brake and play again. You can do this for as long as you like. It gets them used to each other's smells which might make things easier the next time they see each other.

 

[lil annie]

They jumped up on that window seat all on their own. I was laying on the bed and haylo came in and looked at window and jumped up. Marigold looked at him and didn't even hiss or growl. I think she is starting to realize that he isn't going anywhere and that she needs to just let her spoiledness go. I think they have found a mutual spot where they can both be and not fight each other. I gave them both treats for not freaking out on the other. YAY things are finally starting to look ok with them.

 

[cheylink]

Originally Posted by Lil Annie

They jumped up on that window seat all on their own. I was laying on the bed and haylo came in and looked at window and jumped up. Marigold looked at him and didn't even hiss or growl. I think she is starting to realize that he isn't going anywhere and that she needs to just let her spoiledness go. I think they have found a mutual spot where they can both be and not fight each other. I gave them both treats for not freaking out on the other. YAY things are finally starting to look ok with them.

This is great news! Giving them treats when they are getting along is also really good, it not only helps them bond with interaction as equals with you, but encourages them that when they are calm together, they are rewarded.....

 

[darlili]

That's exactly what I did when I introduced my boy - I kept telling my girl that she was the love of my life, and I always fed her first - but, I also started feeding them in close proximity to each other, and whenever they were in the same room and not hissing, I made sure they both got a treat.

 

[lil annie]

Well things are going pretty good with Haylo and Marigold as she is now starting to fight back and not always run to me for safety when Haylo does attack her.