Help or advice for desperate situation

[lovemy3]

Hello everyone. Here is my short story of how I got here: I have a DMH cat that is about 2 years old. She (Beauty) is a sweet girl but does not like other cats very much. Because I fostered in the past, she has met a lot of other cats and became friends with some (very few) of them (male and female but usually younger than her).

Due to a situation with family members, I ended up with two more cats. I have tried to introduce, reintroduce, everything with these three cats without much luck.

This is the problem: Beauty would not quit hissing or growling, and it especially made Sammy (3 year old female Maine Coon Mix) very, very mad. We have played, eaten great food together, you name it, but the very moment things get quiet, Sammy attacks Beauty. Sammy acts like she is ignoring Beauty to relax Beauty, and then Sammy pounces. The last time, I think Beauty peed due to being so scared. It could have been Sammy that peed, I don't know really.

We now keep them separate, but I so want us to all get along and integrated. I love, love the two newcomers and do not want to rehome them. I also want to provide Beauty a safe and comfortable home.

I would like Beauty to not hiss, and I would like Sammy to not hunt Beauty like prey. Again, I have played with both of them until they are exhausted. All three can eat canned food in peace.

The third cat, while the situation is not perfect, is not a concern. I believe Beauty and Janie can get along.

Is there any advice for me? The ultimate goal is that we can all sit together in a room together peacefully and remain peacefully forever. We have had days with peace but probably because I am very protective of Beauty. Sammy knows I discourage discontent. It seems she can't help herself because she wants to get Beauty which is half her size.

This is wearing me out, but I am willing to do anything. The situation is frankly depressing since this has been going on since March.

Thank you very much for any help/advice.

 

[tulosai]

Hi and welcome! 

Please read this article and begin reintroductions according to the steps inside it http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

Make sure to follow the steps exactly and to take things at the cats pace.  It's important to realize that each step may potentially take weeks or months and that yo need to just be patient and not advance to the next step before all the cats are ready. If you do so, you run a high chance of needing to start over entirely.

God luck!

 

[shadowsrescue]

Some cats take forever to get along.  I brought a feral male cat into the house last year and my resident cat had a fit.  I followed the steps in the article above, but ended up rushing the last steps and it was a mess.  The key is to take the steps very slowly.  Once I restarted the process, it took months, but after one year (almost to the day) the cats are fine. They still don't like each other, but they can coexist in the house together. 

A few things that worked for me:

1.  I used a large dog cage and put one cat inside.  I covered the cage on 3 sides.  I allowed the other cat to sniff around.  I rewarded with lots of chicken or special treats.  I did this sometimes 3x a day switching who was inside. 

2.  I bought a cheap wooden screen door from Lowes ($20) and attached it to my door frame with cheap tension rods.  This way the cats could view each other.  I put a baby gate in the door way for extra protection.  I did not leave them unsupervised as the screen was flimsy.  During the introduction step that allowed feeding on either side of the door way, this worked really well.  The cats could see and smell each other, but not harm each other.  I have a picture of this set up if you'd like to see.

3.  I used Feline Composure treats and then switched to Composure liquid max to mix into their wet food.  This helped to calm everyone without the use of drugs.  It worked very well especially with the more aggressive cat.  Do an internet search on it.

4.  Feliway plugins are a must.  Keep one in each room where the cats stay.  Amazon has the best prices on the plugins and the Composure too.

Remember this is a process.  Patience is your friend.  If you are uptight, your cats will pick up on this.  Keep calm.

 

[lovemy3]

Thank you both! Hopefully I will be back at some point with good news. Today was peaceful, but I was in the middle of the two girls when we were in one room. I separated them before either got to that point of no return.

I claim I have done what the article states. Both are fine with each other's scent with the swapping of smells via a cloth, bedding, etc.

I do plan to get a cat playpen and swap them out. I like the idea of covering the three sides. I hope that this technique will help Beauty quit hissing and growling. If she would not do that, I think Sammy would be willing to be friends.

I have the baby doors, etc in place to keep Beauty safe.

I need to get items 3 and 4.

I will keep trying and be patient. I feel much better today!!

 

[alistair]

Get a Super Soaker squirt gun and blast Sammy ever time he goes after Beauty! Ok ok, I'm only joking. The advisors gave you some good advice [emoji]128515[/emoji]

 

[lovemy3]

I finally got a 51" three shelf condo for what I now call the cat room. I have Beauty and Janie free roaming in the room with Sammy in the condo and feliway plugged in. I plan to keep swappong out Sammy and Beauty. I sure hope this works. However, Beauty is nonstop growling. I wish she would relax!

 

[lovemy3]

Get a Super Soaker squirt gun and blast Sammy ever time he goes after Beauty! Ok ok, I'm only joking. The advisors gave you some good advice [emoji]128515[/emoji]

Sometimes I feel like getting a super soaker...

 

[alistair]

Some behaviorists advice against using a squirt gun but when one is bullying the other, it's hard not to. I actually tried it for a while and it didn't seem to help. Then I put Soft Claws on the aggressive one and after a while the other cat started fighting back and that solved the problem. They are decent friends now.

 

[lovemy3]

I will need to get some soft claws for Sammy for when I try letting them all mingle. Thank you.

 

[alistair]

Anytime [emoji]128570[/emoji] Let us know how things go

 

[lovemy3]

One day into using Feliway has not helped Beauty's hissing and growling whatsoever. It does seem to help the other two not respond so negatively to the hissing and growling though. If they would ignore her, maybe the H&G will subside...

 

[shadowsrescue]

Feliway can take up to a week to make a difference.  You also have to be sure that you have enough of them for the size of your home.  You need to have one in each room where the cats will be.  You can also use the spray which helps in rooms where you do not have a diffuser.

I really would suggest doing proper introductions with the cats.  This can be quite a process  but it does work.  If you rush the steps you will pay the price.  Last year when I brought a feral/stray into the house and started introductions with my resident cat all went well at first.  Then I rushed the last few steps and it was a mess.  It took me months to get them back on track. 

A squirt bottle does little to stop a cat from hissing/growling/chasing/fighting.  Instead it makes the cat fear you. 

Here are two more articles on introducing cats.  Feliway alone will NOT make the cats get along. 

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/introducing-your-cat-new-cat