Help! Older cat wetting on bed out of spite

[beth0612]

Help. Just, Help. I have a 17 year old cat with a history of spiteful inappropriate wetting. She hadn't done it for several years but then her older companion kitty died last November and 2.5 months ago I got two new kittens. And she's at it again. She has been peeing on my bed intermittently but then night before last she peed on ME while I was in my bed. Then a few minutes ago (it's in the middle of the night now) she did it again--she climbed on me and peed. I am so stinking tired of washing all my bedding multiple times a week--it's falling apart.

She used to wet my bed when her litterbox wasn't scooped to her liking. I now have three litterboxes and they get scooped twice a day. She will only eat dry food and I have jumped through hoops to offer every kind of wet food and she walks away from it. I have reassured her and reassured her that she is #1 in the house. She's always been skittish and I worry about her because she's older now and has a heart murmur and kidney problems. But I am SO ANGRY. I didn't sleep well last night because I was up late working and now I'm up in the middle of the night again and I am going to be like the walking dead tomorrow. I have spent all this time agonizing over her health and then she starts doing this. I am FED UP. 

I know she's mad about the kittens but they're not going anywhere. I have everyone locked out of my bedroom now, which stinks of cat urine. Really. I don't know what to do. I could never get rid of a cat but I can't continue to live like this.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
Help. Just, Help. I have a 17 year old cat with a history of spiteful inappropriate wetting. She hadn't done it for several years but then her older companion kitty died last November and 2.5 months ago I got two new kittens. And she's at it again. She has been peeing on my bed intermittently but then night before last she peed on ME while I was in my bed. Then a few minutes ago (it's in the middle of the night now) she did it again--she climbed on me and peed. I am so stinking tired of washing all my bedding multiple times a week--it's falling apart.

She used to wet my bed when her litterbox wasn't scooped to her liking. I now have three litterboxes and they get scooped twice a day. She will only eat dry food and I have jumped through hoops to offer every kind of wet food and she walks away from it. I have reassured her and reassured her that she is #1 in the house. She's always been skittish and I worry about her because she's older now and has a heart murmur and kidney problems. But I am SO ANGRY. I didn't sleep well last night because I was up late working and now I'm up in the middle of the night again and I am going to be like the walking dead tomorrow. I have spent all this time agonizing over her health and then she starts doing this. I am FED UP. 

I know she's mad about the kittens but they're not going anywhere. I have everyone locked out of my bedroom now, which stinks of cat urine. Really. I don't know what to do. I could never get rid of a cat but I can't continue to live like this.

Hello, I'm not an expert in any way and I have no doubt this is a very frustrating "act" to go through on a regular basis, but if she has kidney issues and is 17 years of age, is there a possibility this could be medical.  

Has she been to the vet recently since this new rounds of wetting has started.

What has the vet said about her kidney's in the past, how damaged are they?

I have confidence someone on here will have some answers for you.

My soon to be 13 year old gal had crystals back in January and was peeing all over, it was very frustrating, but thank goodness for medication, she's doing well now.  I understand the exhaustion from cleaning multiple times daily.

What is her name...

 

[beth0612]

I'm sorry I didn't give her name--it's Lucy. Lucy went to the vet just before I adopted the kittens. She hadn't wet inappropriately in a couple of years and it started up after I got the kittens, which is why I assume it's behavioral in nature. On her blood tests, her kidney function was just on the other side of the normal range on the low end of high. It's my understanding that most cats who make it to that age experience declining kidney function. My beloved Oliver died in November just shy of 21 years and he had very little kidney function left--the volume of his urine production was way beyond what I see with Lucy now.

I honestly think she's jealous of the kittens. They're high energy and you can't ignore them. When Lucy peed on me last night (and it really is kind of funny if it weren't so darn frustrating and I wasn't sleep deprived) I could hear the kittens racing around in the background. I adopted Lucy when she was two and she's always been extremely skittish, but she and Oliver became companions and, because he was older than her, they always led a calm, settled life together. The last few years, when Oliver was *extremely* old, things became super low energy around. Now it's the reverse of that. I have been extremely mindful of giving Lucy love and attention since I got the kittens so she won't feel unimportant, but clearly I'm not doing something right in her mind. 

 

[sivyaleah]

I don't think she's jealous per se, what she's experiencing is a complete upheaval and adding kittens to the mix is probably too much for her to handle now. She lost her long time companion; cats can grieve like humans can and I'm sure she's missing her friend.  Kittens, unfortunately, do not make good company for geriatric cats.  They have little tolerance for their antics and energy.  

I'm also no expert at inappropriate elimination problems but I do know how older cats behave as we have one turning 15 in a week.  I just can't see putting him through any major changes right now.  He's ok with our 8 year old cat, but even she is still to high energy for him at times and he appreciates his quiet spots around the house away from her.  

I would suggest as a start that adding more litter boxes, this could be helpful.  The usual number is one per cat, plus one extra - so in your case you should have 4 litter boxes in the home.  I realize this isn't always possible but if you can add at least one more that might help.  Lucy may not want to be sharing her resources with other cats, let alone kittens.  If you can put one in an area where Lucy tends to spend her time that would help.

Hoping others who have had this problem will chime in.  I do know it can be fixed but is challenging in the interim.  We have great people here with solid advice; so I'm sure someone will be able to give you more help.

 

[beth0612]

I really appreciate the feedback. I was enraged and frustrated when I wrote the original post in the middle of the night.

I must admit that I did the best thing for me and not Lucy when I got the kittens. I'd had Oliver, the 21 year old who died, since he was six weeks old and he was that once in a lifetime pet for me. He had my entire heart and I still am still grieving his loss intensely. The last year of his life required intense care, which I was happy to do for him, but once he died I realized how exhausted I was from caring for him. Lucy is technically pretty old herself and I wanted kittens so that I would have a good long while before I had to go through that again (realizing I'm going to be dealing with it for Lucy sooner rather than later). 

I do agree that Lucy's upset that her world's been turned upside down, but I can't get rid of the kittens (who have really been therapeutic for me). I haven't gotten upset with Lucy about wetting on the bed before because I realize she's voicing her displeasure of a situation that I created. But actually peeing on my body while I'm falling asleep takes it up a notch and I can't ignore it. I have everyone shut out of my bedroom today while I'm washing bedding and Lucy is unhappy about that. But I can't risk leaving naked mattress for her. Thank goodness for the waterproof mattress cover (which is currently in the dryer).

 

[sivyaleah]

Oh goodness, nobody would suggest rehoming your kittens.  I think we all understand in one way or another how frustrating this is for you.  We don't have urination issues, but our older one throws up A LOT. Just the other day, he did it on bed for the first time ever - on the electric blanket.  To say my fiance was upset is putting it mildly.  

It can be very challenging having a pet at times.  I'm going to put in a shout out to the mods here to see if any of them with this experience can help you.  

Can you post photos of your kitties?  We always love seeing them!

 

[jennyr]

Lucy does not understand why the kittens are there, and she is trying to mark 'her ' territory so they know it is her place and she hopes that that will make them go away. She is not doing it out of spite or jealousy as we know it, but to remake her world as she knew it. Her peeing on you and on your bed is the opposite of spite - she is trying to make the things she values most smell of her and so keep the kittens away from you and her special place with you. It is also reassuring for her to have her things smell of her. Pee to a cat is not disgusting - it is a way of giving and getting information of all sorts, from who is around to making 'happy' and 'dominant' pheromones.

So you need to give her a special place that is hers and where the kittens canot reach her. Maybe that will turn out to be your bedroom tho9ugh you may have to live through a period when she will continue to pee until she has confidence that the kittens will not suddenly appear there. I do not know if the kittens are sleeping on the bed, but if they are you will have to banish them from there. It may be in the future, when Lucy regains her confidence that you can let her out of the bedroom gradually again, but it may never happen.

I had a similar thing happen with an old cat, who was peeing all over the house, and on my bed. She ended up living ion the bathroom, of her own choice, and once I had stopped all other cats going in there, she only ever used the litter box in there. Towards the very end of her life she staretted coming out ontot he landing and sat there watchin the other cats through the banistersl, but retreated into 'her' room if any of them showed any interest in her.

This is a difficult situation for you, but I really do think that somehow you are going to have to keep them separated, and yet give both Lucy and the kttens the attention they all need. I can only see that being successful if you do it by using places that you would normally spend several hours in every 24 hours, in other words isolating either Lucy or the kittens in your bedroom. I feel for you - it really is very frustrating, but remember that cats do not think of these things in the same way we do,

 

[sivyaleah]

Lucy does not understand why the kittens are there, and she is trying to mark 'her ' territory so they know it is her place and she hopes that that will make them go away. She is not doing it out of spite or jealousy as we know it, but to remake her world as she knew it. Her peeing on you and on your bed is the opposite of spite - she is trying to make the things she values most smell of her and so keep the kittens away from you and her special place with you.



 

This!  

 

[beth0612]

I really appreciate the feedback, everyone. It really is frustrating trying to get into her head. Oliver, my beloved kitty who passed, always slept by my head and Lucy slept at the foot of the bed. After Oliver died, Lucy started sleeping at the head of the bed and I started leaving one pillow lying flat—that's where she spends 98% of her days...on that pillow at the head of my bed. About a month ago I woke up in the middle of the night and looked over at Lucy's pillow and expected to the silhouette of Lucy and instead I saw the silhouette of two little kittens and I thought, "Uh-oh." The following night is when the bed wetting began. 

Here are the challenges to keeping the kittens out of the bedroom: Lucy's always been free fed and I know she gets up and eats in the middle of the night. I guess I could put food and water in my bedroom? I really don't want to move a litter box in there, but I suppose I could. I really like having the kittens sleep with me because Oliver was always my snuggle bug and Lucy is *not* a cuddly cat, and so I like having the kittens to snuggle with. But I also want Lucy to settle down and stop wreaking havoc on my bed, so I'm going to have to make some changes.

I stopped by a local holistic pet store today to get some of the only wet food that she'll take a bite of (she usually walks off and leaves wet food untouched) and the owner recommended trying one of these pheromone diffusers to stop marking and scratching. I bought one, so I will give it a try. The Amazon reviews were split between “greatest thing ever!” and didn’t work, so I have high hopes but am not expecting a miracle.

And I am always happy to provide pictures!

Top: Lucy (top pillow) with her companion Oliver

Second: Lucy, who is definitely not allowed on the table

Third: Kittens (Alfie and Beatrice), snoozing

Fourth: Alfie being pensive and Beatrice snoozing

buddies.jpeg

• beth0612
• Apr 29, 2016

Lucy Pike copy.jpg

• beth0612
• Apr 29, 2016

snoozing copy.jpg

• beth0612
• Apr 29, 2016

AlfieBea copy.jpg

• beth0612
• Apr 29, 2016

 

[sivyaleah]

Lucy is gorgeous, as are all the others.  Thanks for posting those!  I can't believe Lucy can still jump up onto a table - our Casper at 15, gave up all attempts at least a year ago.  

It's really apparent how much you love Lucy.  I know you aren't keen on the litter box in your room, but until she starts consistently using it again, it is probably necessary.  Plus, she's also elderly and getting around must be difficult at times.  Having the litter box nearby is so important for her.  It also could partially be part of the problem.  I do think she's marking her territory but there's a chance she doesn't have the energy to get up and to to a box which may be too far away.  If you decide to put food and water in the room also, make sure it's on the opposite side of the room from the box.  Cat's really dislike having their toilet near their food - as we do lol.

BTW, I tried the Feliway diffuser and in my experience it worked.  But yes, there's a lot of yeas and nays on it but it certainly won't hurt and might be useful.  

 

[mservant]

What a challenging time you are all having.   Very hard.  I understand your frustration, and having given vent to some of your feelings of exasperation it is also clear from your later posts that you have a good idea when and where this return of old behaviour for Lucy stems from.  

With the Feliway diffuser, I have had success but it is was not a quick fix - the pheronomes take time to build up and calm cats.   What I have found helps to give a more rapid but temporary relief from specific anxiety trigers is the spray pheronome which you can target specific areas with - such as your pillow or bed cover, in addition to the plug in diffusers.  I used the plug in for Mouse over several months when he was younger and got anxious when left on his own, and use the spray for when he is going in his carrier for car journeys.   I have read that is is useful in deterring inappropriate urination and furniture scratching so might be worth trying.

If Lucy continues to pee on your bed you could also try puppy training pads on top of your bed covers and pillows and see if she would use those instead of the fabric covers which then need washing and likely retain some of the odour.

One of my 

 tabbies suffered with chronic bladder inflammation and regular cysitits, and when unwell would 'dribble' urine where she was resting.  A combination of puppy pads, and washable waterproof backed (picnic) blankets became a feature of my home for several years.   I wish you and Lucy all the best in getting through this phase, and Lucy seeing her world as a safe place again.    

Have to say, what an adorable fur family of grey kitties.   Big soft spot here for grey cats and your crew look adorable.  Erm, have you told Lucy she's not allowed up on her table?  

 

[jennyr]

All of them are gorgeous cats! I think you are getting to the bottom of the problem and that is the first important stage of knowing what to do about it. I can quite understand Lucys feelings when she discovered the kittens had usurped her pillow!

On litterboxes, I have one in the corner of my bedroom now, as I have a 14 year old cat with arthritis who has always slept with me since she was 3 weeks old, and can't now manage to walk quickly or run downstairs. I use a covered box and always add litter freshener, and have had no problems. I am sure she appreciates having the box there, and I agree that Lucy would probably benefit too.

I am one of those who has tried Feliway sprays and plug-ins at different times, and really cannot see any difference. What I have done occasionally if I have a fight on my hands is sprinkle raw catnip on the kitchen floor, and that has resolved the issue very quickly. But some people say their cats ignore catnip! We all have to find our own way.

 

[stewball]

I think you're going to have to move lucy into your bedroom with food, water and litter box and toys. The kittens must be banned until lucy has calmed down.
The kittens are magnificent.

 

[beth0612]

I have an update on my cat family situation. Since I bought the pheromone diffuser, I went ahead and let everyone sleep with me the past two nights, hoping that would take care of it. Night before last was good, but last night Lucy peed on my bed by my feet some time in the middle of the night. This time I didn't get mad because she's already so tightly wound (always has been) and I just got up and washed the bedding this morning. When I re-made the bed, I moved her food and favorite litterbox into my bedroom. I have her shut in there (since that's where she spends the majority of her time anyway) and the kittens have the rest of the house. I just went in to check on her and she seems freaked out and wouldn't let me pet her, so we'll see how it goes. I hate that the kittens can't sleep in there for the time being, but I want to see how this goes. I'm afraid she'll be mad that she can't come and go as she wants (even though she stays put most of the day), but we'll see.

The only upside to this is that I can separate the kittens from Lucy's food. I have transitioned them onto raw because they've had chronic diarrhea since I got them (it's much better now, but still not completely solid poop). Lucy has always been free fed and she's so skittish and prone to food striking, I haven't wanted to limit her food. But one of the kittens is ambivalent about the raw food and has been supplementing himself with Lucy's dry (the only thing she will eat), so now I can get the kittens completely on raw. There's no dish of dry food to go to if they really don't feel like finishing what was served.

I was really hoping the diffuser would do the trick and maybe it will help over time, but I had to try something different.

 

[jennyr]

Every bad situation has an upside somewhere! You can now monitor the kittens much more easily at least. AS for Lucy, give it time, things won't work immediately, she is bound to be a bit freaked. Does she play with toys? MAke sure she has something to occupy herself with when she is on her own.

 

[mservant]

I hope she is not thinking she is being punnished by being kept in there - if you can spend a lot of time with her that would help.  She needs to get the message that the kittens are not taking more attention from you and she still has your heart.