Ok this is hard for me to write, but, I have a problem. I find it very difficult to go out of my house to do anything. The only person I feel comfortable to be around is my husband. We have lived in our house for nearly 5 years and I wouldn't know one of my neighbors if I ran into them at the grocery store.
If I have someone come up and chat with me I feel uncomfortable and tend to end conversations abruptly. I feel they are scrutinizing everything I say looking for faults. During family gatherings I can't wait to leave, staying only so hubby can visit and enjoy himself. I tend to hide in the family room if everyone is on the patio and when we gather inside I hide out with the children.
I want to be able to go out and meet people and visit, I just panic and retreat. I have no problems with kids, they are a "safe" outlet for me. Parents scare the tar out of me and I have Hubby to run interference with any questions they have about the after school program.
People who dress nice and are educated seem to intimidate me the most, while those that are labeled " strange" or "poor" I seem to identify with more.
I can go up and talk to a disabled person or someone with spiked hair and peircings with little problem. Lately I haven't been leaving the house unless I absolutly have to. Haven't even gone shopping for the holidays. We plan to just give out gift certificates. I feel paralyzed and useless, my home is falling apart and I dont want to get out of bed.
I'm 45 so maybe I'm going through the change? Poor self image? Some days are better than others, but I'm so tired of being afraid. Any suggestions?
Geez this is hard to send. I've hovered over the submit button and just have to take the plunge.
If I have someone come up and chat with me I feel uncomfortable and tend to end conversations abruptly. I feel they are scrutinizing everything I say looking for faults. During family gatherings I can't wait to leave, staying only so hubby can visit and enjoy himself. I tend to hide in the family room if everyone is on the patio and when we gather inside I hide out with the children.
I want to be able to go out and meet people and visit, I just panic and retreat. I have no problems with kids, they are a "safe" outlet for me. Parents scare the tar out of me and I have Hubby to run interference with any questions they have about the after school program.
People who dress nice and are educated seem to intimidate me the most, while those that are labeled " strange" or "poor" I seem to identify with more.
I can go up and talk to a disabled person or someone with spiked hair and peircings with little problem. Lately I haven't been leaving the house unless I absolutly have to. Haven't even gone shopping for the holidays. We plan to just give out gift certificates. I feel paralyzed and useless, my home is falling apart and I dont want to get out of bed.
I'm 45 so maybe I'm going through the change? Poor self image? Some days are better than others, but I'm so tired of being afraid. Any suggestions?
Geez this is hard to send. I've hovered over the submit button and just have to take the plunge.