Help! Kitten bites every time I pet her

[allenrubinstein]

I just adopted a sweet, wonderful kitten who a friend took in off the street.  This one showed up on her doorstep at two in the morning and meowed to be taken care of.  She loves being an indoor cat, and she strikes me as a pet that got lost somehow (they did look for an owner).  Since they already have three cats, they kept her outside where she did lots of romping around the yard, playing hunter kitty.  I got a kitty crush the second I picked her up and now she's spent a few weeks in my one-bedroom with me.  She hasn't even tried to harm furniture or carpet, took to the scratching post right away, knew exactly what to do with the litter box and loves the food I give her.  She can't get enough of the cardboard bits at the end of the wire, and I try to give her plenty of play time with me.  She's a really, really good cat.

The problem is I can't so much as get my fingers near her mouth when I'm petting her.  It can happen in seconds, and she does it every single time.  It's not overstimulation, because she's clearly loving what I'm doing, and I feel terrible that I can't give her affection without stopping abruptly because she's taken a nip at me.  I say "no" sharply, but not angrily, and she sits there looking around.  I don't know if she's confused or conflicted.  I think she gets it because I can practically see her trying not to bite me, like she can't help herself when she feels good.  (she's the first cat I've personally owned, so I'm not sure when I'm anthropomorphizing)  I try to just get her neck and back, and she cranes her head around to go for my hand.  These aren't hard bites, but she'll bite harder if I allow it.  I have no idea what to do.

One more detail:  she was taken in by another person my friend knows, who had to bring her back.  The other person already had a couple cats, who Phoebe didn't get along with.  She was described as "bossy", and it was decided she would be happier as an only kitten.  She's the opposite of a fraidy cat.  Phoebe settled in within minutes of getting her to my home and has no issues being picked up by anyone.  She's very special, and a natural people cat.

The vet says she's about six months old, and I'm getting her spayed in a couple days if that matters.  Thanks for your best advice.

 

[rafm]

The best solution is to stop using your hands in play with her. I know how much fun it is to roll them around and play games with them using your hands, however, it appears she overstimulates easily and it would be better if she isn't tempted to bite. In a bitey kitty, hand play can become dangerous, especially as they get older. Use wand style toys with her and avoid getting your hands around her face. 

If you do want to continue playing with her like this, keep removing yourself from the play when she nips as you have been doing. Although, again, I have to recommend you not keep engaging in hand play with her. 

 

[allenrubinstein]

I don't use my hands to play with her.  She bites when I pet her.  This is about petting, scratching her ears, neck and chin and rubbing the top of her head.  I don't even think she's trying to play with me.  This is just the way she's expressing her pleasure.

 

[thembcat]

Some cats are just bitey. My family has a all black cat that my dad and sister found under a wooden palette at my dad's work. This cat was tiny and still had to be bottle fed and his idea of playing is biting and if you try to pet him usually he bites. I think some cats just aren't into petting as much. What you can do, if you want to chance it, try using the back of your hand with your hand balled in a fist. Sometimes fingers are just to stimulating. 

Your kitten might have been taken away from it's siblings and mother too early too either from humans or from just getting separated or abandoned by mom. Living with their siblings is a very important part of growing up because it teaches the kitten bite control. With the litter, if the kitten bites a sibling or its mom too hard, he gets repremanded in a way that it understands so it learns.  It could also be from an established feral bloodline. A kitten that has had 2 feral parents will be a lot more wild acting than a kitten who was born from a feral/stray(housecat) pairing or a stray/stray pairing.

 

[mrjinx]

Is she biting you hard? I mean, drawing blood hard?

The reason I ask is because cats sometimes bite as a way of "kissing" one another. So if she's biting you hard (ugh, and with cats you'd know so quickly, I've had some terrible hospital inducing bites), then it's probably over stimulation or "bad manners" because she didn't have cat-to-cat socialization, but if it's just a nip, it's her way of telling you she loves you.

All three of my cats do that to some degree. When Mr. Jinx is rubbing my nose over and over he sometimes puts my nose in his mouth for a second to kiss. LOL

 

[presto]

I suppose it's frustrating for you, so I won't try to trivialize it.  But cats display a whole spectrum of behaviors to being touched.  I have one rescue female (about 18 months old) for 10 months, and she still won't let me TOUCH her!  On the other hand, I have a beautiful 3 year old male who let's me do almost anything I want to.  I can rough him up, turn him upside down, and hold his entire head in my hand - and he will NEVER BITE ME!  He totally trusts me.  Does this kitten that bites you also scratch you?  To me, scratching is way more problematic than biting.  I know a friend's cat who will take a swipe as soon as your hand is within his range!  That is much worse (to me), than a bitey kitten.  If she's small enough, and she doesn't scratch, try gently holding her mouth shut when you touch her.  She may get the idea.  But if not, just live with it, and try to gain her love and trust.  If you really want to love her, you have to let her be.

 

[maxkitteh]

My cat loves me and gets tons of attention and play, but he's a little bitey too. Not hard bites (he's 5 months) but just annoying. He'll just mock-attack my arm...not full-force but he just does it in certain locations (like in the bedroom of the lights are on, but never in my sleep or anything). 

So, I know this can be tricky, but it's good to ignore the cat if it bites. Cats who like affection seem to be affected by this...even if it's only for 5-10 minutes. I got my cat to stop biting my ankles in the bed (the first week) by just putting him out of the room...and he stopped. I am sure this or similar techniques will work to prevent biting from petting...even if the bites are affectionate. 

Good luck. Hope you get it fixed. Your cat may also be teething...so check those teeth and see....I think they teeth up to around 6-8 months. My cat seems to have his adult teeth already (from what I can see) at 5 months. 

 

[maxkitteh]

@Presto: Agreed. I think scratching is way worse (and more dangerous) than biting...especially if it's not hard biting. 

 

[rafm]

@Presto: Agreed. I think scratching is way worse (and more dangerous) than biting...especially if it's not hard biting. 

If the biting increases in strength, it is FAR more dangerous than scratching. You can lose a finger or hand to a cat bite.  

 

[presto]

If the biting increases in strength, it is FAR more dangerous than scratching. You can lose a finger or hand to a cat bite.  

You must be talking about some 18 lb feral tom cat (who is cornered, no less)!  Oh, come on now!
 

 

[mrjinx]

Though I never lost a finger or hand, I have to say that my tiny cat Isis (who is 6 pounds full grown, VERY small mouth) bit me when I first got her. It was the worst cat bite I've ever experienced and I have worked with big feral toms. The bite from her tiny teeth went straight to the bone of my pinky finger and sent me to the hospital, where they told me if I'd waited another 24 hours I would've lost that finger. I had to be on antibiotics for a month. So even a small cat can cause a very dangerous bite if they want to.

 

[vickie hellyer]

Hi - I see that your post was written 5 years ago so I have no idea if you'll receive my message or not.  I just wanted to check in with you and see how the bitey kitten is as an adult.  We now have a kitten that bites a lot - pretty much in the way you describe.  Sometimes I divert her by handing her a cat toy to bite and sometimes I work hard to keep my fingers away from her mouth and sometimes I feed her thinking she may be hungry and sometimes I let her bite me thinking/hoping she'll get it out of her system.  Also, if it is truly a way that she likes to show her love, I want to accept it as that.

However, I am interested in learning how it's worked out for you and your little one.  If you are still posting on this site, I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks ever so much,

Vee