HELP! Is it wrong to give away a cat because of their bad behaviour?

[treatsheep]

And I'm not talking about violent behaviour. He doesn't scratch or bite, however he is terribly destructive. For some reason is an absolute nightmare. We've tried noise, spray bottles, verbal commands, keeping him in his crate when we go out and nothing seems to work. In the past two days he's knocked over some very expensive wine glasses (they were in a rack with a DOOR, we came home and every single one was shattered), destroyed my beautiful vase on the kitchen table, knocked over my hamster cage and got bedding everywhere, tore up and peed on some of my clean laundry, put a rip in the shower curtain... the list is endless. He's just so BAD.

We even put him in his crate when we go out. We've tried duct taping it closed and everything, and nothing works. He still escapes. Even if we put him in a room with the door closed, he scratches at the bottom of it and now the spare room's door (and my own) is ruined.

I'm at the end of my rope here.

This has been going on for a few months (we've only had him that long, he was 6 months when we adopted him) and he gets along with our other cat, Sephy. She, on the other hand, is SO WELL BEHAVED and never does any of these things, even scratching. She simply is good mannered. Now, before you say we don't pay enough attention to him, we do. He sleeps in our bed with us, cuddles with me when I'm on the couch (however this is not all the time, he has his independent moments too) and he has TONS of toys to play with so he's never bored.

So, is it wrong? I'm really considering it, as is my fiance. He's simply too destructive. When he knocked over my macbook last night that was the last straw. It wasn't even at the end of the desk, either. It was near the back, closed. How he knocked it off the desk is confusing to me to say the least. That computer is extremely expensive, but that's honestly not the point. It's the fact that no matter what we do, he's SO DESTRUCTIVE.

If he goes back to the humane society... am I a bad person? Sephy needs a companion to be happy (she was diagnosed as depressed by the vet, and he suggested a friend for her. I know cats are independent but because of her time with others at the humane society, we simply could not let her go on like this). I just don't know what to do anymore. He's ruining my relationship and my home.

 

[physicsgal981]

He sounds bored.  Do he and your other cat play?  Is he neutered?  What sort of play do you engage with him? 

My dog was returned to the shelter twice because he wasn't a good fit for the families who adopted him.  My parent's cat was the same way.  Sometimes it just isn't a good match and it is okay to return him but I (this is me personally) who try to determine what the issue was before turning him back in.  If it was something I could fix I'd rather find a way to do so.  Also, I don't know if your shelter is a kill shelter but returning him could be a death sentence.  You may be better off rehoming him on your own. 

Good luck.  He sounds like a handful.

 

[tammyp]

Hi treatsheep,  I truely empathise with your sense of being at the end of your rope.  I'm also guessing that he is bored.

Often 'heaps of toys' can mean lots of things, but it isn't what he needs to expend his energy.  Our Kato won't really play by himself.  A human has to be on the other end of the toy.  And it is tiring for the human - it literally takes 2-3hrs a day - and the play must be really really active; chasey, racing together after a toy are the current favourites here.  Aim to play with him until he flops on the floor panting.  He sounds like he is an active one, so he may take 2-3 flops.  And you may need to do this type of session a couple times a day minimum - at least while he is young.

Furniture that is 'his' will help him leave your stuff alone too.  Make it stuff you can wear him out on - like a massive cat tree.  Play with him here to make him haul himself up and down.  Your challenge is to wear him out.

Other stimulation also takes the edge off - and for this reason, we trained Kato to walk on a lead with a harness.  We walk him for an hour a day.  Another easier thing for him to feel satisfied, is a high window on our second storey where he can spy on all the neighbours and the birds!

Try to find some type of way to secure things that are delicate - you know how clever he is, so you'll have to figure out what might stop him.  If you have sliding doors on cabinets, put a piece of wood along the runner, so it can't be opened (stick it down with velcro if necessary).  Zip tie things shut? Use locks on things you don't often open? I know this is a pain when you are so stressed and fed-up, but it will give you an instant sense of peace.  (Kato also rips off duct-tape, so you are not alone!)

There is a lot of info on http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/  about wearing out a cat - look for her posts on 'alpha' (high energy) cats.  She also writes about when it is ok to re-home a cat and I think that will help you too.  In some instances, the home and cat just don't fit together.  You could also have a look at some of Jackson Galaxy's My Cat From Hell episodes 'Roscoe the menace' was somewhat about an active but bored and therefore destructive cat as I remember.

Best wishes!

 

[Willowy]

Well, here's the problem---if you give him back to the shelter, or even try to re-home him yourself, he'll almost certainly be killed. Can you live with that? I couldn't. I think that once we make the commitment to a pet, we're obligated to deal with it even if it's difficult. People don't get to kill or rehome their kid if he/she turns out to have special needs.

 

[treatsheep]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and suggestions! To clarify, the shelter I adopted him from has absolutely no-kill policy, no matter how badly behaved, mentally ill, or old a pet is. If they cannot be rehomed, they become permanent residents of the shelter. But anyways, I should clear up a few things.

1. When I am not busy (I am an artist and a student) I constantly play with him, and he has a three-tier cat castle to climb up on, as well as a little "couch", but to be honest that's Sephy's couch. He still scratches it though. 

2. I tire him out to the point that he will sleep, and the vet suggested that he is crated when we go out, because he could hurt himself with his extremely destructive traits. Such as his fondness for finding glass objects and breaking them. I was so relieved that he didn't step on any of those wine glasses.

3. He's actually extremely smart. Besides him being able to open his crate, he can open doors (both pull handles and the turn style handles), cabinets, even the fridge!

4. Sephy and him scuffle constantly, but it's the "play" fighting, which from what I understand is a-ok. They physically fight, without hissing and/or the cat "screaming" they do when extremely mad.

5. I think I'll continue to try with him. He actually seems happiest when we visit my parents - they have three dogs and he enjoys doing "dog" things, such as play fighting with them (he's never been a cat to use his claws... I mean, ever. He just wrestles) fetching, playing tug-of-war... It's strange.

I think I'll just keep trying. I guess I was a little frustrated when I wrote that post. I've been a dog owner all my life, and when I adopted Sephy she was simply so well behaved... I've always been a person that could train an animal simply with verbal commands and positive reinforcement. To have an animal that pushes me back every step of the way and just doesn't listen is new to me, and it's... really difficult. I love him very much and do not want to get rid of him, but it seemed like my only option at the time.

 

[ritz]

Really OUT there idea:  adopt a dog..... ?

 

[treatsheep]

I'm considering adding a small dog to the family, such as a Westie or a similar-sized dog. I would be too afraid to get a large dog, as I don't want my animals (and myself) being herded. Small to medium sized dogs seem to relate to cats very well. I do have a condo, but my Yorkie at my parents house is only pad trained and does fine. I'm home enough to do daily walks and such, so that won't be a problem. I'm really thinking about it.

 

[andrya]

Really OUT there idea:  adopt a dog..... ?

The phrase "[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]To have an animal that pushes me back every step of the way and just doesn't listen" sums up the problem, IMO.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]He isn't pushing back at YOU, he's a cat. lt has nothing to do with listening or obedience/disobedience, and everything to do with being an intelligent member of a species who behaves this way (typically).[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]l have two very intelligent highly active cats, and one very mellow fellow. The older guys could be seen as destructive when bored, or as highly intelligent, mischievous talented creatures (whom l adore) who will invent fun out of anything.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]l did not enjoy having to replace my beautiful, tall glass candleholders, but rather than keep them where they're accessible and have to keep replacing them, l hid them away until l have guests.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]l also think the noise, spray bottles, locking him up etc. is counterintuitive. He's getting more wound up by each of those and blowing off energy.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]l guess my vote would be that if you aren't able to enjoy him as the cat he is, and aren't willing to adjust around it, then he should be given a chance to be part of a family who will appreciate his boisterous behaviour. Maybe he will bring your female cat out of her shell so she can enjoy being a cat, rather than being well-behaved and depressed, as you describe her.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]ls he neutered by the way? That is the beginning of their eventual mellowing, as is age. He's still in kitten-mode and will eventually mature.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]Good luck, l hope your choice comes easily, it's a tough one.[/color]

 

[sivyaleah]

Just out of curiosity, has he been neutered yet? A cat that hasn't been fixed yet could be more inclined to wilder behaviors than one that has been spayed or neutered.

 

[treatsheep]

I've "trained" cats before, such as when I adopted a cat for my aunt, but she didn't want to deal with the crazy kitten stage because she was just starting a new job at that point. Her disposition is playful, yet pleasant. Link (the cat I'm talking about) is the same way. However he has the destructive trait, which I'm hoping will go away eventually.

He was spayed about... I want to say two months ago? He was actually mellower BEFORE that 

I've kind of stopped the noise/spray thing now, and as I mentioned he only goes in the crate when we go out, as I don't believe that a crate is a punishment. Animals, dogs and cats both, will then associate the crate with negative behaviour and will freak out and be negative when presented with it. I try my best to tire him out before I leave the house, so he sleeps when we're gone (his large cage is enough for him to walk back and forth, curl up and lie down, eat, etc. - probably about 5 feet across? It's not a small carry-to-the-vet cage) It's a dog crate, actually. But it's spacious enough that he won't get stressed.

I've simply tried to hide things so he can't get them, but I cannot take everything out of the house. He knocked our 35inch television off it's stand, which is thankfully fine (I'm SO GLAD that it didn't crush him!), a standing lamp, a desk lamp, and a bookcase (it was empty, thank goodness.) I don't know how he has enough strength to even do these things. So the crate is necessary.

Yeah, I'm in a pickle here...

 

[andrya]

OMG! He sounds like a lot of fun (at your house of course, not mine, LOL).

Yeah, knocking a TV over is a little extreme. You'd have to have no furniture at all!!

Hmm, he's neutered but still under a year old. Hopefully he'll calm down in adulthood.

Do you live in a place where you can let him out, or is he indoor-only?

Maybe an outdoor enclosure would be good for him, accessible by cat-door, so he can go out when he's feeling hyper.

 

[treatsheep]

No, where I live it's strictly indoor only, and it is, in fact, illegal to have an outdoor cat. It's because there are dogs, coyotes, cars, etc. It's simply not safe.

And I live in a condo (high rise condo, like an apartment but two storeys. It's hard to imagine, I know.) We have two balconies but I am not comfortable letting him out there, as the height would kill him if he ever were to jump. I've asked my landlord if I could put a cat balcony enclosure up, and he said absolutely not. Something about it looking tacky and taking away from the prestige of the building. It's a very expensive city, and it prides itself in it's looks. I understand, I suppose. We actually don't have a "slum" part of the city at all. Which... is surprisingly strange, because I thought every city had one. But enough about that.

There's plenty of space for him to run around, as we have a floor space over 1,900 square feet. I also keep the balcony doors open so he can look out the screens (with supervision, of course. I don't trust him) Has anyone had luck with cat harnesses? I don't know if you can walk a cat or not... 

 

[kittyandco]

He must be bored. Try playing with him, he probably has way too much energy and takes it out on your stuff. Once a day, intense, hard playing. Have him run, chase, and bat until he starts to tire off, and then leave him be with the toy.

If I were bored, I reckon i'd start ripping the house apart, too. A bad cat is a bored cat.

 

[angels mommy]

From what you are saying about him being so smart, &" dog like," (& bored when not being played with), It sounds like he is a good candidate for clicker training.

It's worth a shot. This way, not only will he be getting a physical work out, but he will be mentally stimulated as well. I think you should try it!

 

[harleydiva]

There's plenty of space for him to run around, as we have a floor space over 1,900 square feet. I also keep the balcony doors open so he can look out the screens (with supervision, of course. I don't trust him) Has anyone had luck with cat harnesses? I don't know if you can walk a cat or not... 

I just got a Kitty Holster for my Siamese boy, Gideon.  He also has a LOT of energy, and gets into everything.  He will be a year old in a few days.....and the good news is that he has calmed down quite a bit.  You can definitely train many cats to walk on a leash.  I looked at pretty much everything...and this one appears to be the safest of anything I found.  (Also saw them on Jackson Galaxy's site)  There are some cool videos on the site....

http://crazykfarm.mybigcommerce.com/categories/CAT-PRODUCTS/Kitty-Holster®-Cat-Harnesses/

We are just at the stage of letting him wear it around the house for a few minutes at a time to get used to it.  I saved a little money buying it on Amazon, after I figured out the size using the chart on the webpage.  I got the Tiger one...it's really cute!  I also saw a couple of cats walking around with them at a recent cat show I attended.

 

[melesine]

I'm considering adding a small dog to the family, such as a Westie or a similar-sized dog. I would be too afraid to get a large dog, as I don't want my animals (and myself) being herded. Small to medium sized dogs seem to relate to cats very well. I do have a condo, but my Yorkie at my parents house is only pad trained and does fine. I'm home enough to do daily walks and such, so that won't be a problem. I'm really thinking about it.

I would not assume that just because a dog is small it will get along better with cats. Some of the smaller breeds have high prey drive and are not the best choice for cat families. I'm not suggesting you get one, but we have a German Shepherd that absolutely adores all cats, not just ours. And yes they are a herding breed, and yes I spent a lot of time training her as a puppy to play well with the cats and not to bark at them because she was a puppy and that is what they do when they play with each other. She loves her kitties though and even enjoys watching them play. I think it's more important to pick a breed that is not animal aggressive and doesn't have a high prey drive, than the size of the dog. 

 

[treatsheep]

I absolutely agree. Terriers (my Yorkie at home is somewhat an exception. She goes after bunnies and squirrels, but she's never tried to take a nip at my cats.) tend to be prey-driven dogs. I was thinking of getting a corgi, to be honest. I love them dearly and they have such sweet dispositions. Not to mention they are very tolerant. 

 

[physicsgal981]

From what you are saying about him being so smart, &" dog like," (& bored when not being played with), It sounds like he is a good candidate for clicker training.

It's worth a shot. This way, not only will he be getting a physical work out, but he will be mentally stimulated as well. I think you should try it!

I totally agree and was going to suggest this.  I can help a lot (with both dogs and cats!)

Plus what about some of those toys that you put food in and they have to work to get it out?  Since he's so smart, he may enjoy the 'hunt'. 

 

[physicsgal981]

I would ask the humane society if they have dogs in foster with cats...that can give you a much better idea how they would do with your cats.  There are some dogs that chase/try to eat cats, some that tolerate them and some that love them and want to play with them (my male do is a player, my female dog could take the cats or leave them for the most part).