Help bonding new 13 week old kitten with my 7 month old tom?

[kittyeatlayke]

I got O'Malley at 8 weeks old, he's now about 7 months. He's a ginger tom but he's been neautered.

Anyway as you will see from my previous posts he's always been a trouble causer, he plays rough, climbs walls etc but he's the most loyal loving cat ever and I love him.

We just today brought home a 13 week old half Maine Coon kitten after agreeing he needs a playmate, she's adorable. We introduced them and she's fine, she doesn't bat an eyelid, but O'Malley stalks her constantly and occasionally tries to attack. The first couple of times he struck her really hard with his claws out, I thought be was going to take her eye out! Although I've only seen him attack her viciously a few times right at the start, he does still pounce at here and were going to have to keep them in separate rooms at night and when were not there, until they're happy enough around each other.

But I was wondering how long this stage will last before he gets over it and accepts the new kitten?

I feel like I'm pushing O'Malley away a bit too in a way, because he normally sleeps on my head at night but he won't be able to until he gets used to the new kitten because we're having to shut him in the kitchen at night so he can use the cat flap.

Any advice? Thanks!

 

[mani]

It really is important to do the whole introduction thing.. it works really well and will stop problems developing..

Have a read:

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

 

[orangeblossom]

I think I was in almost your exact situation a couple of weeks ago if you read my thread on introducing my 9 month old female kitten to a new, 4 month old boy kitten. Putting them together right away was a huge mistake and after I backtracked and took it slow I was able to put them together successfully.

When I put them together, my girl was stalking him all over and the behavior was not really desirable.

I had to keep the new kitten in our bedroom, which really put our girl kitten out of sorts, but it worked out for the best with slow introduction. I got great advice here!

I think a key bit of advice was to be a "social facilitator" by rubbing a cloth on one cat and then back-and-forth-ing it so that they developed a "group scent." I used a shirt I had worn so it had my scent on it, too.

I also think Feliway diffusers helped because I noticed that our girl mellowed out a bit without factoring in the newcomer - licking my hand more often, purring more often, being generally more receptive to extended chin scritching.

 

[kittyeatlayke]

Thanks so much for your advice. I guess I thought leaving them in two different rooms and then showing them each other every now and then would be a slow introduction but instead it's banished O'Malley to the kitchen seeing as the access to the stairs is in he front room where we've been keeping Duchess.

What if I put Duchess in the spare bedroom upstairs and then take it from there with the blankets etc? Would this help? At least then o'Malley can have full run of the house again and feel safe. I hope I haven't ruined there chances of being friends..

Do you think that would work?

 

[MoochNNoodles]

What if I put Duchess in the spare bedroom upstairs and then take it from there with the blankets etc? Would this help? At least then o'Malley can have full run of the house again and feel safe. I hope I haven't ruined there chances of being friends..

Do you think that would work?

Yes I think this is the way to go!  It can take a few months even for some to accept each other.  Patience is key with some.  

If you have more questions; please ask.  And keep us updated on how it's going! 

 

[kittyeatlayke]

Thanks!

I put Duchess in the spare room last night and within a few hours they were sat either side of the door meowing at each other.

It's probably too quick but I let him in because of the way they were acting, he walked in making chirping and trilling sounds and then he just laid down and watched her. He was so relaxed and was even slow blinking at her! After a bit he started getting playful (I think anyway) and he rolled over and pulled himself across the carpet reaching out to her. He did swing a few paws trying to get her but it looked harmless.

All was good, he was still keeping a close eye wherever she moved and did bat her a few times but no hissing or growling.

We separated them again, then late at night he was meowing to go in. We let him in, all ok to start, trilling, tail up etc but then out of no where he started chasing her as fast as he could, cornering her and batting her like she was a toy, claws out. Again no growling or hissing but it went on for a while until I had to separate them.

I cannot tell whether he's playing or not, just maybe a little too rough. He's doing all the right body language that he's ok with her right? Or not? And the thing is if he's chasing her and you take him away, she goes after HIM!

Anyway I'm only introducing them for an hour or so everyday, gradually. And I'm using the same brush on them etc.

But what would you make of this body language?

 

[kittyeatlayke]

I've discovered what the problem is.. Our older cat is completely fine with the kitten until she decides to swipe at him (which doesn't happen very often) and then all hell breaks loose and he's chases her around the house and attacks her (batting her in the face with the claws out too quite viciously).

What I need to know is, obviously they're trying to sort out between them who's boss, but it's getting vicious, so should be I scooping the kitten up and putting her back in the spare room when things get rough or should I leave them to it?

And when I do that the older cat pacing up and down outside the room, scratching on the door and trying to get in. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's like he wants to kill her!

Someone tell me what I should be doing?

 

[mani]

Honestly, I'd go back to square one and do it by the book.

It truly is a system that has the very best chance of assimilating your two.

They do that standing at the door thing.. it's part of the process.