Hello - new and open to cats

[ana2013]

Hi, we got a cat and a dog for the kids. They had a warm and loving home, and the kids are grown now.  I never really learned to appreciate cats. Now I am doing so.  The cat is an older cat, I recently got younger rescued cat 3-4 years old. The older cat  all she does after months and months and months is growl and hiss.

I never thought I would own two cats. 

The younger cat seems lost, the younger one has tried to play with, cuddle with the older one and the older one wont' allow it. As the older cat has gotten more aggressive so has the younger one, who decided to start to try to bite her tail and her butt (anus).

Although today I thought that there was a break through because the older cat allowed the younger cat to smell her butt. lol I know that sounds strange but it is a break through. I was so elated. I was starting to get panicked that they would seriously harm each other.

The reason I came sought this forum out, was because although I am staring to really really appreciate my beautiful wonderful cats,  I have a lot to learn and understand. The younger one really needs to play and cuddle and it breaks my heart as he looks so lost and lonely. It does seem that he came from  somewhere where he played and cuddled .(I do play with him and he does sleep with me at my feet, the older cat at my head.)  So now....    I'm thinking of adopting another younger cat 2.5yr-3 years old from the local rescue.

However, I swing from yes to no, and no to yes then back and forth again, because I don't know if this is a good idea or not.  I would really appreciate any input your collective expereince both pro and con you could offer.  I want to make sure that what ever I decide it is an informed choice, because I will be effecting both cats and my lives.

 

[ana2013]

And the life of the potential new cat.

(I accidentally somehow deleted that part in my last post. Not sure how to correct a message - sorry.)

 

[ana2013]

Hi,

I realized afterwards, long afterwards that I forgot - never even thought to introduce my kittys to you

Cleo - as in Queen of the Nile short for Cleopatra - the older one
Handsome - the younger one. Thanks

 

[mani]

Hi Ana2013 and welcome to TCS..

If the reason you're considering getting another cat is to 'harmonise' your cat family, I would be very cautious about it.  It could go either way.

My feeling would be to work with the two you have..   I'm not sure about the time-line here. When did you adopt each of your cats?

I'm also going to suggest that a mod swaps this thread over to 'behaviour' as you'll get more help and ideas there..

 

[ana2013]

Hi, Thanks for the welcome and helping.

I've had Cleo for years and handsome for 4-5 months. Thanks for the move, I wasn't sure where to start on the board.

Cleo is 12 and Handsome is 3-4 years old.
Today, Cleo blocked the door to the room where the kitty litter is, stopping Handsome (H) from going into the room. When I stepped in between them H went right into the litter box. Cleo has also decided that even being in the room with H allows her to growl and hiss at H. Last night Cleo wouldn't allow H to sleep with me and he cried half the night walking around aimlessly. Cleo has also decided that she is going to go outside of the litter box.

I did have two litter boxes, but H insists on using Cleo's, so I clean it out and put it away.

Cleo is also a cat who holds a grudge. She will intentionally come and sit with me with her back to me.

When I brought H home, he was in his own room and I exchanged smells with each cat with a towel from each cat. They they started to eat on each side of the door, then within site of each other. After H was released into the house, I didn't see Cleo for a month and a half, she ate and used the litter box, but no Cleo. Then she started to come out and the growling and hissing has increased since then. She stays up stairs and sleeps in her favorite chair, where she spends most of the time. She comes down for breakfast and after super cat treat, she now once in a white sleeps beside my desk. But she isn't really interactive with me, and when I try to pet her an H at the same time, she avoids my touch like my hand is a hot poker.

 

[ana2013]

Yes you are right, I was thinking of a getting a third cat as a companion for H, one whose ages is similar, and play level is about equal. And this is what I have been tossing and turning about it.

 

[ana2013]

I had an insight this morning.

Cleo is trying to "out" or displace H.

As mentioned before H usually sleeps at my feet, 3 ? days ago, when H went to jump up at my feet to sleep, Cleo had just placed herself there - so there was growling and hissing. Since then H has been very nervous about approaching the bed.

H, has been lost at nights and is looking for warmth and comfort and Cleo won't allow him that, in the middle of the night, we found him curled up under my desk. During the day, H follows me around everywhere and he is always the first to meet me at the door. When Cleo sees him she tries to make him stop what he is doing. He is going from a very friendly, openly loving, playful cat to one who is a nervous paranoid one.

 

[sonadora]

Unfortunately, an older cat who has been used to being Queen of the house by herself for years and years will probably take a lot longer to adjust to the new arrival. As you mentioned, she is probably trying to "out" Handsome, perhaps she feels threatened by his presence and is worried about her royal status, lol!  And of course, as she feels insecure, she will "retreat" to her favorite spots, then when she DOES show herself and sees him, I'm not surprised that she reacts with aggression, which of course only makes Handsome nervous. He doesn't understand why she doesn't like him. Do they eat together, or in sight of each other? I find that helps, if Cleo can learn to associate Handsome with good things like yummy treats/her favorite food. The hardest part will be to make sure he gets all the love and attention he needs without making Cleo feel like she's been de-throned....

Good luck! Keep us posted on how they are doing. I'm sure others will come a long with more specific tips and tricks! 

 

[ana2013]

Hi, thanks.

Yes they do, I feed them together and also make sure she gets her breakfast half a second first before he gets his breakfast. When they get treats, its the same.

 

[mani]

Cleo is also a cat who holds a grudge. She will intentionally come and sit with me with her back to me.

 

A cat sitting with her back to you doesn't mean she's holding a grudge.  It's more a sign of trust.  I wouldn't read too much into that... my Nilah does it all the time.

Have you tried Feliway?  A diffuser or two may help to settle Cleo.

 

[cat dad]

If Cleo is blocking resources from Handsome, I'd definitely set up at least another litter box somewhere else in the house. I'd also set up some other cat trees and perches in other places to give both of them plenty of ways to get away from each other if they need to.

You could even consider starting from scratch and creating a safe room for Handsome and start the introduction process over again.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats