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- Apr 22, 2022
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Ok I hope I do this right. I'm a terrible speller and have never used a forum before but I need help...maybe. well when I moved here 5-6 years ago there was a huge colony living here. It's is a terrible neighborhood w cat killing stray dog packs and horrid people. I Ve always loved cat so I am over joyed and even poorer to have become care taker learning as I go. I am now working at a small rescue that is wonderful painful and exhausting and my mentor is wonderful yet A LOTAwe do not have the same views on a lot of things but I always respect wisdom over much as studies . I messed up bad . I started taking 1 at a time in cause I couldn't handle the attacks I don't sleep at night worrying & listening for the cruelty and the city hates me due to basically building a fort on my front porch trying to help kitties be safe from these dogs . Unsuccessfully I will add as they have come on to my porch to rip open shelters to kill cats. (Once 2 mastiffs came into my house even ) sigh . I'm doing best I can but as I said I am dirt or less poor. Have issues myself legally & health wise and my partner is allergic we have 6 living in room w us all fixed and vet which costs me or us almost 6 months of keeping our head outta water ....or having running water. I volenteer and do the work to make sure they have food dry all day but good wet food in morning then again b4 sundown . Have all the boys but 1 fixed in. Colony and unfortunately girls on list but now add 3 litters 2 in house ...yeah...and 1 of 3 on porch in a better set up than i even have lol . I provide fresh water 2 times a day covered and heated in winter. This is so long sorry . My problem is my house is HORRID. the kitten room is only room besides bed room that's habitable I'm working my butt off daily changing that for everyone's benefit but it is a slow process with 20 kitties the amount of crap health issues resources being none existing and working very long hard hours at the rescue. I am worried and heartbroken for 2nd 1st time momma sassy. She's a beautiful sweetest of girls and she gave birth to 6 kittens basically in my hands. I knew it was coming and I dropped the ball and she has no where to be. Momma in room 2nd time and liturally the greatest cat momma I've even seen or heard of honestly. I was so impressed w her last year I think I was hesitant to take that from her which also HUGE F UP on my part . Ashamed of myself honestly . Trying to make up for that best I can . So momma hid babies it was terrifying and 1 died so w sassy I freaked and put her in kennel these girls were both feral but friendly after 2 years of hard work for them to trust me. She would not feed babies. All they did was scream. She just sat in cat box. Then I let her out and she picked a spot and I made it safe. Problem was she was still flighty and the spot was tiny dark 24/7 I noticed babies not really moving about and made the possible foolish desiction one night when I desperately needed sleep to let little ones hang w few days older babies and momma. In the big room. They are thriving now but momma's adopted them which is alot her poor nipples. Their all under 4 weeks old but older are onto kitten food and using litter box like pros littles are close. Momma won't let sassy near them and she's crying laying in there empty spot last night she wasn't cuddling a dryer shit from outside pretending it was baby. Today when I came out of room after feeding she was peeping in a crack to watch babies Iknow I m possibly projecting but I can't help but be absolutely crushed but her sad ess and me taking her only chance at being a mommy away due to being tired and afraid she wasn't feeding them well. I just don't know what if anything I can do to fix this. She still has milk and the desire to be a good mommy w her kittens. The mom's usually get along well and 14 kittens is way to many for momma to have right? Is there anything I can do? Am I a horrible person. Please any comments will be taken seriously and I appreciate the time. Ty
