Have you ever uprooted your life?

[save_adopt]

i want to thank all of you for the kind words. i guess i just have to figure something out, its certainly hard when i have no resourses to make other things happen.

I want to join a club or something, but i think geting my buisness going is going to be a good thing for me, i think it will help me meet people in the area.

 

[tara g]

My parents uprooted my life for me. When I was 17, they decided we were going to move 650 miles away from the state and town I lived in my entire life - where all my friends and family were located. 3 days after I finished my junior year of high school, we were gone. I stayed there for a year in North Carolina, though I never had plans to stay after I graduated anyway. Rob and I started dating 3 months before graduation, and ended up moving to South Carolina in July of that year. Instead of going back up north where I planned to go, back to friends and family, I decided to take a jump and live in another state. I turned out for the best, obviously - got me an amazing husband and two wonderful furbabies. But I don't have any friends here of my own. I talk to DH's friends' wives and girlfriends - even get along with some pretty well - but we never hang out or anything. And now we work so much even he doesnt hang out (then again, when it came to our wedding reception, we learned how many of these people werent even worth our time!!! They only want to be around Rob when he can get a deal on automotive stuff or a transmission job or parts)

I miss my life in NJ sometimes, but wouldnt give up what I have for anything. I am so happy being with just Rob and my kittens. I dont really have the time or energy to want to go out and get trashed with people. I had one friend here for a few months after I moved (she had moved from NY), but then all she wanted to do was drink and use her fake ID and go out every night - that's not my scene. And Charleston's pretty nice, though I'd love to just take the hubby and the kitties and move back to Jersey

 

[calico2222]

Originally Posted by save_adopt

it would be an added pressure to get a job and have my BF drive me to and from it... we tried it and it failed pretty miserably.

Im working on starting a buisness, in home pet care. i just need to get a car to really get the ball rolling on that. for now im working on the flyers and buisness cards and stuff

Honey, for now, can you drop HIM off at work and use the car for the day?

I also moved...in two weeks...from Maryland to Guam. 10,000 miles away. All I had was what I packed and $40.00 in my pocket. The guy I was moving in with, I met on the internet. And it was VERY scary, and very depressing at first. I was lucky because my BH bought another car for $500 that I could use. But, if you could take him to work and use the car to explore and get familiar with the place, that would be great!

The hardest thing for me at first was not having any friends too. I have never seen a more clean apartment, because I spent the entire DAY cleaning...every single day! I was SO bored!

It's great that you are trying to start your own business! But, if you could get out and meet people, it is better. Even if you just become familiar with the clerk at 7-11, that is a connection that you've made. And, it helps you to become more comfortable with meeting people.

I was TERRIFIED of talking to people when I first moved there, and I had to drive by my first interview 3 times before I finally had the guts to actually park and go in. I met one of my best friends while working there (for 4 years) and she was a bridesmaid in my wedding! So, sometimes the jump is worth it.

And, if you ever need friends, we are here!

 

[tara g]

Originally Posted by calico2222

Honey, for now, can you drop HIM off at work and use the car for the day?

That's a great idea. I did that for awhile (although I had my own car at the time too - but it wasnt great on gas, and we ended up taking the engine / transmission out to do an upgrade ... and its STILL sitting!!) I would drive Rob to work, then take the car and explore the area, put my applications in at temp and hiring agencies, run errands, etc, then pick him up again when he got off work.

Even now we carpool (we have 5 cars, 1 runs

) and I get the car Monday - Thursday, and in the afternoons (we go to lunch together) on Fridays. This way I can run errands or whatever since he works later that I do right now.

 

[save_adopt]

his line of work (contrator) he needs the truck all day, he goes in between jobs and picks up supplies.

I talked to him last night, told him some of the things that were bothering me, he seems to be taking it to heart and is paying more attention to my needs... gotta love it when they do a 180 for ya huh?

 

[lillekat]

I know precisely how you feel hun - I uprooted everything to live with my man - I left a house and home, cats, family, friends, job and my son. He really needed to be in a two parent situation and at the time I was in absolutely no condition to look after him properly either. Don't get me wrong, I would have brought him with me if I'd been mentally capable of a coherent thought, but it wasn't fair for me to uproot him as well and expect him to deal with a new life, a new country, a new language, new friends and family AND my poor mental health too. He's now safely in a two parent home with his dad and step-mum and he's very well settled. It eventually did work out to be the best choice. I miss him with all my heart and soul, but I've got to keep going. I can't sit around and mope over it now that the choice has been made. You'll pick up new friends and a new social network in good time, but do be aware that it will be stressful for both of you while you don't have that network.

It'll get better sweetie, promise.

 

[icklemiss21]

Is it possible for you to move closer to the town/city so there is more stuff you can do without a car?

I was the same when I first moved here, and sometimes still get depressed being away from my family, but I have lots of things to take up my time and made lots of friends through the shelter I volunteer at

 

[larussa]

After my first year of marriage my husband and I were forced to move out of state so we moved to San Diego Ca. He worked all day and I was alone and missed my family that were 3,000 miles away. I had a car but didn't know the area well enough to drive even to get groceries. A girl in the apt. complex did show me around so I was able to get out of the house and do a little shopping. I was so lonely tho as you are but I finally got a job and that really helped. I was gone all day so it wasn't as lonely. Is there a way you could find work or anything to get you out of the house. I left no pets behind cuz at that time i didn't have any. After 8 years of marriage we separated and I finally came back home. I wish you the best of luck. You are not married and if you miss your family that much....go home.

 

[eliot'smom]

Just wanted to send hugs your way.....I know what you are going through. I moved from Chicago to Baltimore last fall, and after a rough start, things have been falling into place. I understand that it's hard for you without a car, and being out of a town area, but trying to keep busy really does help.

Working has been a godsend for me, also I joined a kickball club. Good luck...you will find your way

 

[mommysmeows]

Yes - I did. I left everything I ever knew to allow my EX to finish school and try to make a family at 17 because the deed was done and there was no turning back, obviously. Didn't work and I regretted it, but had I not done it I would have always wondered " what if " - So, here I am today... "glad"

My life is everything I ever wanted it to be and more. It was all worth it.


Good luck to you. Life takes you in amazing places!!

\t"Love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."