Has anyone been visited by a passed baby?

[gareth]

 
it is just really hard not to blame myself when I know his last few days were spent in such misery and he still STILL managed to give me the slow blink of "I love you momma" all the time ....when he needed help and I couldn't give it to him...i miss him and how close we re and it's very very hard not to think if i would have just tried harder we'd still be together...

Of course it's hard. You're dipping in and out of the bargaining stage of grief (check this out http://grief.com/the-five-stages/). If only I had done this. If only I had done that. Maybe I could have spent more time / money / effort / energy. It's perfectly natural to think these things. However it is, of course, nonsense. you loved the little boy. LOVED him. If you could have thought of a better way of acting at the time you would have done it. If someone had said your cat will live if you run naked down the street you'd be on youtube right now. If someone had said your cat will live if you stick cat poo in your ears you'd have run for the litter tray. Honestly, the reality is that you did everything you could, everything any of us could. It was just his time.

Of course you miss him. You were bonded with him. That doesn't change just because he's physically gone. The love you had for him is still there. him being dead doesn't take away the fact he loved you, or how he made you feel. Everything about your relationship with him is exactly the same - it's just he's physically not around any more. That's why you miss him. but it's also why you should be comforted. you filled his days with love. That's our job. In the end you did what you could for him. That's our job, and you did it well.

i feel like an abusive  person bc he didn't realize i was the cause of the pain he felt he truly thought i was helping him bc he trusted me and I know I wasn't able to get him help...i should have just at the very least taken him to the vet and surrendered him so maybe he would have gotten the help he needed and adopted out to a better person who he could have bonded with ...i would have been crushed but not like i am now knowing no one will ever get to know him and love him again....he wasn't destined for that, he was too strong, too determined, he deserved someone better I was and am totally unworthy of his love

With all due respect, this is just your pain showing. you loved him. He loved you. He didn't need anyone else. He wouldn't have wanted anyone else. He needed and wanted you.

Time WILL heal you. You WILL have scars, because we all carry scars from the loss of our loved ones, but the pain will fade. Just look after yourself now. Eat. Drink water. Get some exercise. Sleep. Take each day at a time. It will start to get easier.

 

[margd]

 
it is just really hard not to blame myself when I know his last few days were spent in such misery and he still STILL managed to give me the slow blink of "I love you momma" all the time ....when he needed help and I couldn't give it to him...i miss him and how close we re and it's very very hard not to think if i would have just tried harder we'd still be together...

i feel like an abusive  person bc he didn't realize i was the cause of the pain he felt he truly thought i was helping him bc he trusted me and I know I wasn't able to get him help...i should have just at the very least taken him to the vet and surrendered him so maybe he would have gotten the help he needed and adopted out to a better person who he could have bonded with ...i would have been crushed but not like i am now knowing no one will ever get to know him and love him again....he wasn't destined for that, he was too strong, too determined, he deserved someone better I was and am totally unworthy of his love

 

I thank everyone for being so supportive here and trying to help me but as u can see i think i am hopeless

so you can see by the end of his life I was a terrible mom to him I am sorry every single day and wish so badly I could turn back time...but i want to thank everyone for helping me ...

You have nothing to feel guilty about.   You were not the source of his pain - you were the source of his comfort and love.  His illness was the source of his pain.  You did everything you could for him, everything you knew how to do at the time.  You did the best you could and from everything you've written, that sounds like it was a lot.  Your boy knew he was loved and treasured by you.  So many cats never know that kind of love.  It is a wonderful gift you gave him.   Try to take comfort in knowing that he would never want you to beat yourself up like this.  He loved you and would never want you to hurt so much.  

I don't think you are hopeless.  You are grieving and devastated  by your loss.  I certainly don't see that you were a terrible mom to him by the end of his life - I see that you were a loving mom who did everything she could for her dear boy.  

When my Milo passed away, my grief was so deep and overwhelming that the only way I could cope was to adopt another cat.  This is not the right thing for everyone but it did help me.  i found a senior cat who was in danger of being euthanized at the kill shelter and by saving her life, it honored the memory of my boy.  Polly could never replace Milo and I still grieved for him but it helped so much to be able to care for another cat in need.  Again, this is not the right thing for everyone - I'm just letting you know what helped me.

Please be gentle with yourself right now.  There really are people out there who are terrible cat parents.  You are not one of them, not by a long shot.  

 

[mishelly]

I had to put one of my cats to sleep who just got deathly ill one day. I think she might have be poisoned. Anyways I was devastated needless to say. And I wondered some of the same things about her too. One evening about 3 days after she passed I was on my computer and I asked God or I asked her to send me message to let me know if she was alright and then I picked a radio station for the next song to come on and the next song that came on was called happy sang by music artist pherelle. U should look it up and listen to all the words it anSwered my question perfectly,and I knew that she was ok. She let me know through the song. And the words in it were words that would make it seem as if she were in heaven. You should try this method. Just pray and ask your question. Your answer will come either through a book, a show, or song. Just ask it and expect your answer to come in one of these forms. it could even come through another person, so remember pray, ask your question, and wait for your answer and listen for it. it will come to you, and you will know. you will get your message about her or from her. I hope this helps.

 

[swamplady]

Hi Everyone,

   Yes I have been visited by fur babies and even a feather baby in my sleep + one fur

baby knocking on the wall with her tail.

   Pestach (French-Native American for peanut.) A mixed cat of bobcat + short hair

​domestic was taking away from me when I was a child. I took EXCELLENT care even

though I was 11 years old. Neighbors complained so mom got rid of him. He visited me in

dreams for many many years. Even now once in a while he comes.

​   Goosey Goo an injured snow-goose I rescued from a trading post was a big feather baby

who loved talking to me. I had him for years. While I was in the hospital my Norwegian father-

in-law made him Thanksgiving dinner. For years + till this day he comes to me in dreams.

​   Sable a dachshund-rottweiler mix passed in 2014. She LOVED cats. She was 14 years old.

Sable use to knock on the wall with her long tail to get attention. If you ignored her she

would do a dance to get reaction. After she passed for months both Milda + I heard her

knocking on the wall. Her cat was put down because well it had to be. Simmy was Siamese

+ was Milda's cat. It wanted nothing to do with me. Sable really was knocking on walls. When

we got our first kitty Cally last year all the knocking quit. Except in dreams Sable is at peace.

Sable Camping.jpg

• swamplady
• Apr 22, 2016

 Sable camping with us. She ALWAYS guarded the door. She was rottweiler body with

dachshund legs. She was Milda's at first but became both of ours. Her love for cats was sooo sweet. One time Pestash

+ her came together in a dream. She met my first cat + guess loved him right off.

 

[georgiesmommy]

thank you all for sharing your stories with me and I am touched and sorry for all of your losses (I would have been very upset though at my father in law for cooking my goose baby
) I wish i could cope with the loss better but  the love he gave me was so intense so wonderful losing that was immeasurably painful and when i look back at him before he got sick it hurts more and more

 

[NewYork1303]

My father's house has echos (or ghosts) of cats that were there before he moved in. When I walked into the house the first time, I saw a cat laying on the carpet in the hallway and asked him when he got a cat. He's allergic to cats so I thought it was odd. He told me he wouldn't ever have a cat and didn't have one. There are a few different ones that I have seen in his house. My father often hears the sound of a cat jumping up on his table. Is odd since these aren't cats that are connected to him, they have some kind of permanent attachment to the house he lives in.

I sometimes see the cat that I grew up with around my house. She was a beautiful grey tabby. I'll turn around and she'll be right there. 

 

[eck1kaylie]

I like to think my baby will visit me again. Every so often, out of the blue, I'll have a dream about him. Random things. Seeing him healthy and playing again, even in dreams, just makes me so... heartbreakingly happy. Who knows, he could be around. He always was a quiet little thing.
When I brought Onyx home, she immediately gravitated towards his favorite places - places that Ruby refused to go near (I think she was as heartbroken as I was). The computer chair, the corner of the bed next to my pillow, the little cat house he spent most of his last days in, even the spot where he passed. The only spot she hasn't adopted is his old favorite - on my chest, wrapped around my face.
I think if he is here, this is his way of helping me move on. Showing her all his old spots and inviting her to use them.
georgiesmommy , I know exactly how you feel. My Jasper was my kitty soul mate and while the time I had with him was short, we shared the strongest bond I've ever felt with any animal, ever. We were more connected than I am with most people. I was devastated when we lost him. I just felt so empty, like part of my soul had been ripped out. My sweet, tiny baby was gone, and I couldn't even be with him when he passed. I was so broken that I couldn't do anything for him. I was sure he would hate me for not helping him, for not being there. But I know he loves me, just like I'm sure yours love you. I promise that they don't blame you for anything. If they haven't visited, maybe they're waiting for your pain to ease, for fear of hurting you more. Or maybe they're at the rainbow bridge, patiently waiting for the day that you join them there.
I've never seen any of my cats after they've gone, but I like to think they drop in every now and again when they're not out exploring the galaxies, chasing star mice and lapping at the milky way. Watching over me, making sure I'm okay. I see glimpses of them in the girls I've got now. Little things, like Onyx with Jasper's old napping spots.

 

[kntrygrl256]

I had a dream about Sammy after he disappeared several months ago. I like to believe he was letting me know he was alright. I haven't dreamed about him since, nor have I heard him. It's not knowing if he is still alive that makes it hard to deal with. I just pray that he is still alive and living happy with a wonderful new family. But if he has crossed the Rainbow Bridge I know he was telling me he was there and happy with Ghost and Raven.

 

[georgiesmommy]

I know how hard not knowing can be..when i was much younger I had a cat for 7 years and she was my everything...when i had my son she left and never came back and I always wonder 20+ years later if she went to live with someone else, if she got caught by the animal control or worse... I looked into the animal control a few times but I think sometimes i didn't look hard enough...we loved each other very much but i think my son was too much for her to bear
 

I hope your baby is safe and ok and I hope he continues to visit you to give you comfort....I wish one of my babies would visit but maybe everyone is right, maybe ny grief is too big too thick and they can't reach me yet...

 

[donutte]

I wondered if and when Lucky would visit me after he died last November. He was my feline soul mate. He had acute on chronic renal failure that took him just sixteen days after being diagnosed. Maybe a few weeks later, when I was in that plane between the waking and sleeping worlds, I heard what sounded like someone jump up on that table next to my bed, and then someone walking across my pillow (by the top of my head). Lucky ALWAYS did that. I immediately awoke and felt to see if anyone was up there - no one was there. The other kitties were all sleeping soundly by my feet, plus they never got up on my bed that way. I just KNOW it was Lucky. That has happened a few times. It's been awhile since it happened.

Of course, I feel like I see him every single days in his "nephews" - the two black and white kittens I adopted last July because they reminded me so much of him. And Pea-Pea, the kitty I adopted to honor his memory, seems to channel Lucky with her song. Lucky used to sing also, and the first time we hear Penelopy sing, I swear it sounded like Lucky was in the room with us. Mom thought so too! She also gives me love bites and gums me. Lucky was the first and only cat I ever had that gummed me.

 

[georgiesmommy]

I have a few other cats myself so maybe I have missed those kinds of signs...although about 3 days after Georgie died i was alone in my room and i know i felt someone walk across my pillow but Georgie was disabled in life, but maybe he was shpwing me he was healed now...after Wobbles died i couldn't sleep in our room ...ever again actually i sleep in the living room now even though I moved from the apt where he died...but two nights after i slept in the boys room on their futon and my dog was sleeping near my feet...suddenly in the middle of the night i felt a paw touch my hand (my sons did not allow cats in their room) and wake me and right away I felt it was wobbles bc i could feel his long nails touch me too (we had to keep them long so he could pull himself onto furniture as he could not jump) i woke to realize my leg was on my dog smothering her  ...i had to shake her awake and it scared the life out of me...i think it was wobbles bc he was the only one that liked my dog ...but i haven't seen him or felt him for me....we were so close why sin't he coming to cuddle is it bc i moved? But I didn’t see him at the old place the month before we moved….i just wish he would give me something I miss them both so much

 

[donutte]

Part of it is us. Lucky hasn't visited me in a couple of months. I've also had a lot on my mind with his sister Sara being sick. She crossed the Bridge yesterday, so have a feeling visitors will be coming again soon. Not sure if or how she will visit me. She only slept in my bed a handful of times. Lucky had slept with me every night his last couple of years (I didn't allow the cats in my room before that - something I've since regretted). So his visiting me at night doesn't seem weird at all.

 

[kntrygrl256]

I wondered if and when Lucky would visit me after he died last November. He was my feline soul mate. He had acute on chronic renal failure that took him just sixteen days after being diagnosed. Maybe a few weeks later, when I was in that plane between the waking and sleeping worlds, I heard what sounded like someone jump up on that table next to my bed, and then someone walking across my pillow (by the top of my head). Lucky ALWAYS did that. I immediately awoke and felt to see if anyone was up there - no one was there. The other kitties were all sleeping soundly by my feet, plus they never got up on my bed that way. I just KNOW it was Lucky. That has happened a few times. It's been awhile since it happened.

Of course, I feel like I see him every single days in his "nephews" - the two black and white kittens I adopted last July because they reminded me so much of him. And Pea-Pea, the kitty I adopted to honor his memory, seems to channel Lucky with her song. Lucky used to sing also, and the first time we hear Penelopy sing, I swear it sounded like Lucky was in the room with us. Mom thought so too! She also gives me love bites and gums me. Lucky was the first and only cat I ever had that gummed me.

I say that about Zander. I feel she channels Ghost. He always loved to chase shadows and she does that sometimes. I've never had a cat do that.