Had to return my Kitty :(

[mikes14uk]

Hi all, 

Any kind words would be much appreciated, as right now, I feel like cr...p

I have just had to take my Kitty back to the animal shelter after 2 and a half years of being with her. She has been spraying on my carpets for the whole of that time, and it had got to a point that I just couldn't go any further with her due to a risk of health problems. There were at least 3 other cats in the neighbourhood all of which would come up to the windows in my house and scare her, so she would spray to mark her territory. 

I tried everything - blocking access to the windows, introducing her to the other cats (with help from the neighbours) , feliway, placing things/her food/her toys near where she sprays, putting plastic down, everything.. the poor little thing was just too stressed. 

The rescue centre that I got her from are amazing - plenty of space to run in the pen, lots of toys, lovely people etc, but she looked so scared when I put her in.. the smell of all the other animals, and the memories of before (she was in there for 6 months last time before I bought her home), she turned around looked at me, then hid in the corner. Bless her

I think (I hope) that in the long run I have done the right thing for her, but right now it feels like I am evil.

I feel like crying! Anyone else ever been in this situation? 

 

[margd]

I've kind of been in your situation but in two different ways.

1.  I had two (neutered) males, Wesley and Milo, who had territorial issues and who sprayed constantly.  Because i lived alone, I chose to just cope with it and by the time they turned 8 or 9, they had become best buds and the spraying stopped.  So in that situation, I just (didn't) grinned and bore it.

2.   I had three cats I loved desperately that I had to return because I was in an extremely unstable housing situation.  It was made easier by knowing they would be fostered in a home.  They found homes very quickly because by the time I got my housing situation fixed and went back for them, they had already been rehomed.  So that was very upsetting.

I've read in other threads about devices that you can put outside to scare cats away from your windows.  I wonder if something like that wouldn't work?  You might try them and if so, go back and try to get your kitty back. 

I don't know how to reassure you about whether or not you did the right thing.  You might  have, if she finds a home right away where she doesn't face the same issues.  You were in a very tough situation and my heart goes out to you.  I knew i was very lucky that I lived alone and could make the choice to just keep cleaning up and swearing a lot. 

 

[mikes14uk]

Hey Margd,

Thank you for your kind message. It really does reassure to know that I *might* have done the right thing. I have been cleaning it up for the last couple of years (well, trying too!) and although I can put up with it to an extent, I was just really worried about the fact that maybe this isn't the right home for her if she is getting so stressed. A really great suggestion with the scarers - but I think that maybe my Kitty just needs a house with a big garden/fields out the back. 

I'm really sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation that lead to you losing those three cats, but I'm sure they are in home(s) now where they are being loved. I think that is where I am just going to have to take solace from too. However, that is awesome news about your Wesley & Milo - I bet it made all your hard work worrthwhile.

Funny, isn't it, how a cat is just an "animal", one of many millions in the world, just some stupid cat, but when it comes too it, I love the poor little thing and why did I give her up?! Guess we were born to be cat lovers!

Thanks for your message though - it means a lot

Maybe we can both look at it that at least we gave our cat(s) a really good life for at least some of their live(s). 

 

[margd]

Well, you're welcome.  It's so hard to know what to do in these situations!

 

[mikes14uk]

Blerghhhh I'm going back to the cattery to get the silly little thing back! I really, *really* miss her. (Sod the new carpets!)

What made me actually think is how unfortunate you were in your situation, whereby you couldn't afford to keep your cats.  I am fortunate I guess in the way that I have a little disposable income each month so that I could spend the odd £50 here and here every month making improvements. I really have no excuse. 

I'm going to try with the cat scarers, putting some opaque sheeting/stick on something or other on the window (so she can't see out and get stressed by the other cats), and buying some more food bowls so that I can put a tiny bit of food in each, dotted along the area where she wees. I'l also get 2 extra litter trays (4 in total.) I'm also going to put a post on here to see if anyone has any further ideas..!

Thank you for your message though - it was definitely not in vane - you've made me realise that 25+ years of living with cats makes me see that I can't just give up on one. 

On a seperate note, is that Wesley or Milo in your picture?.....  

I will post "Kitty" pictures when she gets home.  

 

[margd]

Oh, this is such good news!  I was so hoping you would go back and get her, for both your sakes.  Your description of her surrender just broke my heart.  I hope someone else pipes in with some good ideas.

My avatar cat is Chula, one of my current cats.   I learned about Chula and her brother Paul here on TCS when I was looking for a new pair, once I realized my other kitties had been rehomed into furever homes. 

Again, I think you're making the right choice in bringing her home.  I hope they don't give you a hard time.  Let us know when you have her back!

 

[jeana]

that is so sad but the right thing to do!!

20150220-090914.jpg

• jeana
• Jul 15, 2015

 

[mikes14uk]

In which case, Chula is beautiful. And a very unusual name too..! That's nice that you found her on this site. (How many do you have?!)

And yes, it really was heartbreaking - she really gave that look that a dog does when it has just been told off. I said all along she is intelligent, maybe she did that on purpose. If she did then it worked. 

I will check back on here as soon as she gets back (it may be friday as having the carpets in tomorrow), and will post pictures.

Thank you once again.

 

[catapault]

So let me see if I'm understanding things correctly - she sees other cats outside through windows and becomes so anxious that she urinates all over the house, correct?

When my two boys would see a neighbor's cat outside they'd have displaced aggression and fight each other. We eventually put the more timid of the two on diazapam (Valium) for about a week. Calmed things down wonderfully well. There were one or two setbacks in the last year when they'd see the neighbor's cat and become hysterical again. Valium for a day or so calmed things down. And now, a year later, they can see the cat and there are no problems. Better living through chemistry!

I don't know if it would ease things for your cat but talk to your veterinarian. If she's urinating improperly due to anxiety this might calm her down.

Go around with a black light, thoroughly clean all suspicious areas with an enzyme / odor destroying cleaner. Then if your veterinarian will write a prescription, give the Valium a try.

And a nice glass of wine for you!

Good luck, and do let us know how things work out.

 

[margd]

Ah, so you were getting new carpets and knew what would happen to them.  Just arm yourself with plenty of enzyme cleaner to get the smell out!

Chula means "cutie" in Spanish.  I didn't name her as I don't speak Spanish but the name really fits her. 

Maybe it's worth calling the rescue and letting them know you're coming back for her!

Good luck....

That's a good idea about the valium.  I wish I had known about TCS when I was going through it with Wesley and Milo.

 

[3furryms]

You may want to look into calming collars, available on Amazon. Please read through the comments/reviews for safety and DIY collar modifications before using though. When we got a new kitten recently, the older two HATED him and I had to do something so they wouldn't hurt him or start marking /peeing outside the box. First, I got a Feliway refill, got some rattan diffuser sticks, took the top off the bottle, stuck 6 diffuser sticks (3 of them cut in half) into it and leave it set out 24/7 in the "middle" room in my house. Note: i probably could have set a second one out also, because it came as a set of 2 refill bottles. I did this instead of plugging it into an outlet as they are meant to be used, because of negative reviews concerning the plug-in diffusers being a fire hazard. I got this idea from a reviewer. I can't say it did anything on it's own, but may be helping combined with the calming collars. Next I got the calming collars, made my own safety modifications to them and put them on the two older cats. No instant miracles, but they became more tolerant of baby kitty rather quickly. After a couple of weeks, I noticed they were getting stressed again and constantly hissing at baby again, so I replaced the collars and the situation improved. There are also calming chewy treats. I only tried one brand that they turned up their noses at, but luckily baby kitty likes them, so if need be I can give them to him! I may try another brand if the situation turns bad as the kitten gets older.

I also want to suggest trying different types of litter and make sure it is about 3 inches deep in the pan at all times, and be sure to scoop all of the pans at least once a day, and actually scrub the pan once in a while, as the smells permeate the plastic and cats are very sensitive to smells. Cats don't tend to like cat pan liners, either. Also, have some covered and some open litterboxes; some cats like high sides, but an open top. If you go on Pinterest there are many cheap alternatives/suggestions to buying litterboxes (like Rubbermaid totes, both with and without the lids, modified for litterbox use). Also, some cats like to pee in one and poop in a different one, so you could experiment with having two boxes side by side or at least very close to each other. If they are the slightest bit finicky about their litterbox and if it's not really to their liking and then add that to other stressors, they are more likely to potty outside their box. Also, things can be going along fine and all of a sudden, something is no longer to their liking and something like a stressor is all it takes to start peeing outside the box - often very near a litterbox! I have also noticed my cats avoid the litterbox with the cute cat-face shaped litter mat because it is a hard rubber, they prefer the softer mats. You could get a small bag of a different type of litter than what you are currently using and put it just in one pan. Some cats refuse to use litter with any scent to them, but luckily there are great alternatives with natural odor control. I have had cat peeing problems with two of my cats. One current and one previous cat that has passed. I loved her so much, so I dealt with it, but it was very difficult! It was many years ago, before clumping litters and she didn't like traditional litter, so I had to use sand. We live near a river, so it was free, but very difficult to get DRY sand and there was a fine line of what she would accept, so I did a LOT of pee clean-up with her!

My sister had a cat that was very stressed by outdoor cats and her cat did better by being allowed outside, with supervision, once in a while.

 

[mikes14uk]

Hi Everyone,

Thank you all so much for your kind and very helpful messages - I can't reply to each point you have all made, but please be assured that I have read them all, and there is some fantastic advice that I hadn't even thought about. 

I got Kitty back this morning from the shelter - the poor girl in the animal shelter was a little upset that she was going - but very happy that she is going back to where she knows. 

I have put a post in the "Fur pictures and Videos" forum (as promised!)

Thank you all SO much once again - I'm certainly going to give some of those ideas a go, and try some of your suggestions too. 

She's a lovely cat, so is well worth all of this effort.