- Joined
- Jan 19, 2017
- Messages
- 2
- Purraise
- 6
I had to let him go yesterday. It was just so hard - hard to see him feeling so sick and hard to make the decision to help him leave. In the end I let the way he had led his life - all 22 years with me - be the guide, he was so strong and independent, not just physically but mentally too. I sometimes wonder if it was because he was a rescued kitten that maybe such a difficult start in life has meant he had learnt to battle from day one. I really think he knew when he saw me that we would fit together, that I would let him be who he was, allow him as much room and space as he needed, and respect him with all his foibles.
When I went to select a kitten I was determined wanted a black one and a female, the problem was the black female kitten really did not want me! I tried several times to approach this little wild hissing & spitting black ball of fluff but it was clear he wasn't having a bar of me. Meanwhile this tiny grey male kitten, who was just a feral started sniffing my legs and feet, then winding round my legs and feet, then wiping his face on my legs and feet. He told me clearly as he weaved & wiped that he was choosing me and soI left with this little, very beautiful but very wary grey boy I called Gus, it just seemed to fit.
I was 20 then and what a journey we've had over those 22 years together. As I've grown up he has grown old and until a week ago he was healthy and happy and still enjoying his retirement spending each day following the sun around my property and each evening curled up either on me or beside me. I was shocked at his decline so I have had to rush my preparedness to let him go. We (the vet & I) tried two days on antibiotics and fluids but as his back bone began to protrude and his limbs began to swell and he began to look at me with sunken sad eyes I knew he was trying to tell me how bad he was feeling.
We had one last afternoon together, cuddled up in the sun, with him purring with his wet rattling pur and me dropping tear after tear on his fur as I told him what he meant to me. His ending was quick but the feeling I'm left with is going to last a long time I think.
See you again Gussie Boy, thanks for picking me although I feel like I was the lucky one
When I went to select a kitten I was determined wanted a black one and a female, the problem was the black female kitten really did not want me! I tried several times to approach this little wild hissing & spitting black ball of fluff but it was clear he wasn't having a bar of me. Meanwhile this tiny grey male kitten, who was just a feral started sniffing my legs and feet, then winding round my legs and feet, then wiping his face on my legs and feet. He told me clearly as he weaved & wiped that he was choosing me and soI left with this little, very beautiful but very wary grey boy I called Gus, it just seemed to fit.
I was 20 then and what a journey we've had over those 22 years together. As I've grown up he has grown old and until a week ago he was healthy and happy and still enjoying his retirement spending each day following the sun around my property and each evening curled up either on me or beside me. I was shocked at his decline so I have had to rush my preparedness to let him go. We (the vet & I) tried two days on antibiotics and fluids but as his back bone began to protrude and his limbs began to swell and he began to look at me with sunken sad eyes I knew he was trying to tell me how bad he was feeling.
We had one last afternoon together, cuddled up in the sun, with him purring with his wet rattling pur and me dropping tear after tear on his fur as I told him what he meant to me. His ending was quick but the feeling I'm left with is going to last a long time I think.
See you again Gussie Boy, thanks for picking me although I feel like I was the lucky one