Grieving over my cat

[shenly chu]

View media item 213901

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• shenly chu
• Jun 28, 2016

this is my Chockie

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• shenly chu
• Jun 28, 2016

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• shenly chu
• Jun 28, 2016

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• shenly chu
• Jun 28, 2016

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• shenly chu
• Jun 28, 2016

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• shenly chu
• Jun 28, 2016

My cat died two days ago. His name was Chockie. I adopted him when he was about 3 mos. old with his brother Vannie. They were found in a factory and the workers in the factory posted it on Facebook that whoever wanted a cat she can give it to anyone. So I contacted and was given with these two beautiful kittens...I nurtured them and took really good care of them...just like my own kids. I have them vaccinated and regularly see their vet. They both grew up well, healthy and the most behaved cats I'd ever seen. We celebrated their 2 yrs birthday last March 3rd(That's the date I adopted them both). But somehow my Chockie just died last Monday night all of a sudden. It happened so fast that till now I can't get over the fact that he was gone. That night we're all about getting ready to sleep when i went out to get something in the kitchen...i heard some weird noise. So i turned my back and saw Chockie chocking or trying to vomit. At first, it's just the usual thing...you know he ate so fast and now he's trying to spit out or vomit it. But when I went to look closely on him...he was drolling and looks really weird. I saw his eyes begging for help. So i screamed to my daughter....get dress we're going to bring Chockie to the vet right now!!! So got his cat bag and rush him to a 24 hours pet hospital. Right away they attended to him. I even heard Chockie cried for the last time...I saw the doctor and his assistants pumping him, inserted a thin tube in his mouth, gave him an injection shot...and after a few minutes. The doctor said, "I'm so sorry, we tried our best but his heartbeat had stop. He's gone. At least, now he's at peace". GOD!!!! That moment....as if everything stop!!! I screamed No!!!!!! That's not true...how can it be? He was fine awhile ago and now he's gone? No....do something ...pleaseeee????? My daughter ran towards his dead body still lying on the vets table....trying to pump him as well...while saying C'mon Chockie get up...let's go home! God....twas a heartwrenching sight....I have to stop my daughter who's keep on pumping him.....She said....how can this happen? Why??? When I was a bit calmer the vet told me he must have eaten something toxic. I asked, " what do you mean? What could he have eaten that much that had killed him? He has a brother you know that is the same age and eats together with him.....Gosh....till now I wrecking my heads off thinking what killed him? My other cat Vannie is ok and looks ok for now. I had Chockie cremated yesterday and now he's back with me at home. But I have a question...How do I move forward from this? I'd been crying for since then..and what bothers me the most is my other cat Vannie. What can I do to help him and comfort him.He's been looking Chockie since we left for the hospital. Everytime I see him, i can see fr his eyes...like asking me where is Chockie? Where is my brother? I have 2 kids of my own a boy and girl...but I love my cats as much. They are by the way, indoor cats.. please help

 

[meow604]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know how to help you unfortunately, I wish I had answers for you. But of course you are grieving for your baby Chockie, he was a part of the family, cats have a way to sneak into our hearts just like if they were our children. I can only say I am wishing you good thoughts and you have my deepest condolences Your Chockie looks so adorable in the pictures.

 

[shenly chu]

Thanks so much for the kind words...really appreciates it.  Writing here and expressing my grief and sadness I think helped me a lot somehow.  Yes chockie is a fine looking cat.  What I missed the most were....his sweetness and he was very expressive in show his love.  But I need to be strong for Vannie as well. I'm sure he's hurting too and needs more attention and love at this time...

 

[tobilei]

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I have kids but my furries are my fur babies as much as my human kids. It's always awful to have to say goodbye to one of them, but I think it's somehow worse when it's a shock. It takes longer to get over because there are questions and guilt and you don't know why it happened. I have lost 2 kitties far too young. One at 7 months to FIP and another from suspected heart failure at 10 months. The 2nd was the biggest shock because the night before he was fine, then he was just gone the next morning. It's been a year since I lost him and it still hurts.

Look after yourself in this time. Give lots of love to your remaining baby. He will spend time grieving and pining for his lost brother but eventually they move on (quicker than we do usually). Sending hugs x

 

[shenly chu]

Thank you so much for the kind words....I'm tearing up again...but of all the things you said, I'm so relieved that my Vannie will get over sooner than I thought.  That comforts me a lot...

 

[tobilei]

 
Thank you so much for the kind words....I'm tearing up again...but of all the things you said, I'm so relieved that my Vannie will get over sooner than I thought.  That comforts me a lot...

You're welcome. I really do feel for you I remember reading it takes about 3 months (give or take) for a kitty to move on. But I think it takes a bit longer but day by day it gets easier for them.

 

[catlover73]

I am very sorry for your loss of Chockie.  You did everything you could for him. Years ago one of my friends had a healthy young adult cat pass away in his sleep.  She was home with him that night and she heard no noises from him or anything.  He was sleeping on a pillow on her bedroom floor like he normally did.  She went to pet him when she woke up in the morning and he was gone.  Like your cat her cat also got regular vet check-ups.  The best answer her vet could come up with was that he had a heat attack while he was sleeping.  It was hard because she traveled a lot and her other cat Neo was looking for his buddy afterwards even though she let Neo see Ripley's body and tried to explain he was gone.  I made sure I spent a lot of extra time with Neo while she was out of town for work.  It was hard watching him look for his buddy but I noticed I was able to distract him with play, toys and treats.  Over time the searching did stop.  Cats do grieve just like humans so be kind to yourselves and give Vannie extra attention during this process.  My friend did eventually decide to adopt a buddy for Neo because she was worried about him being alone when she traveled.  She adopted an older kitten named Biscuit.  She took a couple days off to work on the introduction and the plan was I would continue the process while she was out of town.  Biscuit had her own idea for the time frame she escaped from her safe room and ran right up to Neo.  My friend was happy to see that Neo sniffed Biscuit and started grooming her.  They bonded very quickly.

If Vannie is searching fior her buddy just be there to provide as much support as you can.  Everyone needs time to grieve and moves through this process at their own pace.  If you eventually do decide you are ready to give a home to another furkid  you will never replace Chockie  but I look at as you would be honoring his memory if you eventually decide to go that route

 

[blueyedgirl5946]

I don't know why the vet would have said he died from something he ate. Cats can die suddenly because of health issues, just like people do. I know losing one of our fur kids is worse when it happens as a shock. I am sorry. I think writing your feelings here will help you in your grieving process. Know that your kitty knew how much he was loved. In time, I hope your memories will bring you peace and comfort.
In the meantime, cry when you feel like it. That helps too.

 

[mammacat9404]

I cried reading this, I too had something extremely similar happen! it is the worst when a family member dies so sudden, and there's nothing you could of done.. I am so sorry that you and you children had to experience something so sad and traumatic! something that you just cant get over! you did what you could! and to take two beautiful brother kittens and give them a happy loving home is all animals want!..my heart goes out to your family!!  Animals will move on faster then us humans.. it just takes a lot more lovin and cuddles.. but he will be ok!!

 

[zed xyzed]

I am so sorry you lost Chockie,  

 

[shenly chu]

Thanks for the comforting words...Yes chockie is one of a kind. No one can replace him ever.  I guessed, my main goal now is facing my grief and at the same time giving Vannie the love and support that he needs.  I know he's just a cat and I don't know how he copes with his loss but still I'm here for him.  Now, he's more demanding of attention than the usual...he's the type of cat that can really express when he needs something or want something and will not stop until he gets it.  That's how opposite they are....my Vannie and Chockie.  Chockie is the quiet but showy type.  And Vannie is the chill kind of cat but the most talkative or demanding type.  Now he's looking all over for Chockie meowing around and going through under the bed,tv stand and etc.  He's trying to sniff his scent around the apartment.  I went to the vet yesterday, I had Vannie checked just incase you know, he had also what killed Chockie or something.  Thanks God...the vet said, Vannie looks fine ,normal and  healthy. And I need to observe him for the next 2 weeks and after that it will be his time to have his annual vaccination and probably have his blood tested or some tests.  

I dunno if having another one would be a good idea at this time.  The pain of losing Chockie is still too much. The Vet actually showed me some kittens and cats that are available for adoption. They are beautiful and I actually like one he's already 2 yrs. old and kinda look like Chockie.  But nah....too soon :-)  

 

[shenly chu]

Thank you .....yeah me too...I thought we'll grow old together,,,,

 

[shenly chu]

 
I cried reading this, I too had something extremely similar happen! it is the worst when a family member dies so sudden, and there's nothing you could of done.. I am so sorry that you and you children had to experience something so sad and traumatic! something that you just cant get over! you did what you could! and to take two beautiful brother kittens and give them a happy loving home is all animals want!..my heart goes out to your family!!  Animals will move on faster then us humans.. it just takes a lot more lovin and cuddles.. but he will be ok!!

Thank you for the comforting words....sharing my loss here really helps me in my grieving process.  I'm doing everything now to help Vannie move on without Chockie....we are comforting each other in a way...

 

[shenly chu]

 
I am very sorry for your loss of Chockie.  You did everything you could for him. Years ago one of my friends had a healthy young adult cat pass away in his sleep.  She was home with him that night and she heard no noises from him or anything.  He was sleeping on a pillow on her bedroom floor like he normally did.  She went to pet him when she woke up in the morning and he was gone.  Like your cat her cat also got regular vet check-ups.  The best answer her vet could come up with was that he had a heat attack while he was sleeping.  It was hard because she traveled a lot and her other cat Neo was looking for his buddy afterwards even though she let Neo see Ripley's body and tried to explain he was gone.  I made sure I spent a lot of extra time with Neo while she was out of town for work.  It was hard watching him look for his buddy but I noticed I was able to distract him with play, toys and treats.  Over time the searching did stop.  Cats do grieve just like humans so be kind to yourselves and give Vannie extra attention during this process.  My friend did eventually decide to adopt a buddy for Neo because she was worried about him being alone when she traveled.  She adopted an older kitten named Biscuit.  She took a couple days off to work on the introduction and the plan was I would continue the process while she was out of town.  Biscuit had her own idea for the time frame she escaped from her safe room and ran right up to Neo.  My friend was happy to see that Neo sniffed Biscuit and started grooming her.  They bonded very quickly.

If Vannie is searching fior her buddy just be there to provide as much support as you can.  Everyone needs time to grieve and moves through this process at their own pace.  If you eventually do decide you are ready to give a home to another furkid  you will never replace Chockie  but I look at as you would be honoring his memory if you eventually decide to go that route

Thanks for the comforting words...Yes chockie is one of a kind. No one can replace him ever.  I guessed, my main goal now is facing my grief and at the same time giving Vannie the love and support that he needs.  I know he's just a cat and I don't know how he copes with his loss but still I'm here for him.  Now, he's more demanding of attention than the usual...he's the type of cat that can really express when he needs something or want something and will not stop until he gets it.  That's how opposite they are....my Vannie and Chockie.  Chockie is the quiet but showy type.  And Vannie is the chill kind of cat but the most talkative or demanding type.  Now he's looking all over for Chockie meowing around and going through under the bed,tv stand and etc.  He's trying to sniff his scent around the apartment.  I went to the vet yesterday, I had Vannie checked just incase you know, he had also what killed Chockie or something.  Thanks God...the vet said, Vannie looks fine ,normal and  healthy. And I need to observe him for the next 2 weeks and after that it will be his time to have his annual vaccination and probably have his blood tested or some tests.  

I dunno if having another one would be a good idea at this time.  The pain of losing Chockie is still too much. The Vet actually showed me some kittens and cats that are available for adoption. They are beautiful and I actually like one he's already 2 yrs. old and kinda look like Chockie.  But nah....too soon :-)  

 

[shenly chu]

 
I am so sorry you lost Chockie,  

Me too.....I thought we would grow old together.....or have a lot of memories/years together .....unfortunately it was cut short :-(

 

[shenly chu]

I don't know why the vet would have said he died from something he ate. Cats can die suddenly because of health issues, just like people do. I know losing one of our fur kids is worse when it happens as a shock. I am sorry. I think writing your feelings here will help you in your grieving process. Know that your kitty knew how much he was loved. In time, I hope your memories will bring you peace and comfort.
In the meantime, cry when you feel like it. That helps too.

You're right...I think the reason why it struck me so hard in losing Chockie was that it happened so suddenly. One minute he was fine and then all of a sudden he's gone.  These two bundle of joys are my first time to have my own pet at 43 yrs old.  haha..Years back I wouldn't even imagine that i would love a cat.  And two at that :-) Well one thing for sure CAts have touched my heart and soul like no one ever did......and I'm pretty grateful of them for that....

 

[thekittykeepers]

As a member who has experienced a lot of loss while being a rescuer of abandoned kitties, we truly understand what you feel right now. I have not been on this site for a few weeks, because we just lost another kitten that just was unable to thrive. He was tiny and sweet, but so dehydrated and unable to eat on his own. We put our heart and souls into trying to rehabilitate him into good health. To no avail. He was in my wife's hands, on her chest as he took his final breath. He started the day with seizures, and she informed me of the down turn. We had just a few short minutes left with him, and my wife whispered to him to "go play with Gimpy", and he took one last open mouth breath, and fell limp.

It crushed us both, and we have stayed to ourselves since that tragedy. It has been a few weeks now, and I am back to reading posts again. As a constantly bereaved rescuer, we know we can't save them all, especially the tiniest kittens we offer find alone on the streets. I always try to comfort my wife, who takes on the motherboard of the work (she just has a gift, and can administer the medications much better than I can) by pointing out all the successes we have living in our home. We have more than 30 rescued cats, all of which would probably not be alive today.

I also focus on the ones that are still in danger, keeping busy helps heal the wounds of a recent loss. Another idea that you should consider as soon as possible, is finding another kitten in need of rescue. Bringing in another cat, especially one that is little, can help you all heal by giving a kitten a new lease on life. This will give Vannie a friend and a purpose as well. Nothing can ever replace Chockie, but you might be surprised at the ability of our 4 legged friends to return to us, often in one or more new arrivals. Our Gimpy, who was our first rescue, passed late last year from acute kidney disease, has returned to us in new rescues, each carrying a different trait that was specific to Gimpy. She will always be with us, and we have found the same kind of love in our latest rescues.

We wish you the best in these trying times, if you have questions or need support, don't hesitate to ask us. Sincerely, the kittykeepers.

 

[di and bob]

Although you should check your house for any toxic substances, especially house plants, I truly believe Chockie died of a undiagnosed heart condition, this follows his symptoms, drooling, choking, and collapse. If that vet truly thought there was a toxin problem he could have ordered a blood test to determine what it was, it would have helped you in determining why. Since the condition might be inherited, I would have an inexpensive x-ray performed on Vannie and if there are any abnormalities, further tests. Many heart conditions can be treated if caught in time, but don't in any way blame yourself because this is totally unpredictable in such a young healthy cat. Chockie would be the last one to lay blame, you gave him love and a wonderful home that he shared with such a loving family. You are heartbroken because he was a valued member of your family and you loved him very much.The pain is equal to the love. He came into your life for a reason, even though it hurts so bad to lose him, he brought so much into your life the pain is worth knowing him rather then never knowing him at all. He would never want you to be so sad, he loves you too much for that, he would want you to go on and be happy, just like you would want for him if something happened to you. You formed a bond with him and nothing can take that away, it is a feeling, spiritual, it is a love that cannot truly be explained, it is nothing you can touch, but it is there all the same and always will be. Cherish the memories you have of him, they will bring you comfort in the future, and though his physical body is no more, the 'essence' that was him will surround you for all time. Please don't dwell on his death, all those should haves, could haves, bring nothing but heartache and serve no purpose, try to celebrate the love you shared and take care of his brother who is grieving too. Perform an act of kindness in Chockie's name, it helps to make you feel a little better and I know he would approve. Pay for an adoption or neutering at your local shelter, if money is tight give your time to comfort those beautiful babies waiting for adoption, it distracts from the pain and does so much good. Bring some pet food to the local food pantry or shelter, it is always welcome. My heart goes out to you, I wish I could take away your pain, but the past can never be changed and the future is unknown. But the past can bring knowledge that can change our future, use it wisely. You will be blessed for hurting so bad from loving so much, kiss Vinnie for me and please take care, you are not alone in your grief..... RIP sweet Chockie, you will never be forgotten and will be forever held in a loving heart! 

 

[jcat]

I'm very sorry for your loss of Chockie. To have him die so suddenly and at such a young age must be a shock. It does get easier to deal with such a loss over time, but it probably doesn't feel that way right now. May your little Chockie rest in peace.

 

[catlover73]

 
Thanks for the comforting words...Yes chockie is one of a kind. No one can replace him ever.  I guessed, my main goal now is facing my grief and at the same time giving Vannie the love and support that he needs.  I know he's just a cat and I don't know how he copes with his loss but still I'm here for him.  Now, he's more demanding of attention than the usual...he's the type of cat that can really express when he needs something or want something and will not stop until he gets it.  That's how opposite they are....my Vannie and Chockie.  Chockie is the quiet but showy type.  And Vannie is the chill kind of cat but the most talkative or demanding type.  Now he's looking all over for Chockie meowing around and going through under the bed,tv stand and etc.  He's trying to sniff his scent around the apartment.  I went to the vet yesterday, I had Vannie checked just incase you know, he had also what killed Chockie or something.  Thanks God...the vet said, Vannie looks fine ,normal and  healthy. And I need to observe him for the next 2 weeks and after that it will be his time to have his annual vaccination and probably have his blood tested or some tests.  

I dunno if having another one would be a good idea at this time.  The pain of losing Chockie is still too much. The Vet actually showed me some kittens and cats that are available for adoption. They are beautiful and I actually like one he's already 2 yrs. old and kinda look like Chockie.  But nah....too soon :-)  

Vannie's behavior is completely normal.  This is part of the Vannie's grieving process.  When I was babysitting my friend's cat Neo after Ripley died I would talk to him while he was searching. Sometimes I was able to use a toy feather on a wand to distract him.  I would also call him to me with treats.  Everyone grieves at their own pace and in their own way. Focus on your grieving first.  If and when you are ready to adopt another baby you will know it. There is no need to rush into anything.  There is no time limit on how long the grieving process can take.  Just yesterday I was at the pet store getting cat food and noticed two young kitten's that looked exactly like my Baby-T who passed away years ago.  They both started talking to me when I walked by their cage and I was in tears when I left the store.I did stop and give them some pets.  One of them chewed on finger just like Baby-T used to.  I have 4 cats who get along great and am not adopting anymore right now.