Grace Lost Some Weight and I'm Really Scared!

[raintyger]

WorriedSoMuch,

Just something for you to consider -- Are you comfortable with death in general? You don't need to answer on the forum. It's not a comfortable subject, but if you're not, it may help to develop what you believe about it. It will not seem as scary once you do.

 

[worriedsomuch]

@Scarlett 001 I do recognize we can't control everything in life. However, I do look at it like some things can be prevented. For example, I think if I would have taken Tito's vomiting episodes more seriously, maybe his life could have been prolonged or he could have been at least comfortable in the end. I made a memory book for my first cat that died. I also have his ashes on the mantle, basically a shrine to him including a framed photo I had made in his memory. Tito's picture is up there as well with flameless candles that are always on. I just have not taken out the ashes. I'm sure when I plant in the spring, I will do something to honor my departed friends. After Tito passed, I planted some sunflowers but sadly they never grew. It certainly made me sad that they didn't and wasn't the sign I was looking for.

@Fleabags Mom I'm not sure what you mean about the control thing but if you mean do I have another issue aside from what is going on and I'm deflecting in a sense, I'd say no (besides the grief factor). I can pretty much analyze myself and I know this stems from my loss. It was just like after I lost my first cat. I became hypervigilant with Tito and Meadow at the time and in a sense, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I did find the lipoma on Tito, which led to his HCM diagnosis and a longer life for him. Eventually my guard went down and I was able to enjoy my cats. I got Grace and Delilah about 9 months after the passing of my first cat and Adele and Lexi about 4 years after that too. So I have been able to open up my heart. There just have been too many issues cropping up after Tito's death. I knew I'd be on high alert again once he passed but I never expected Grace's ears to be so bad or her to have seizure like episodes or tics. I always have to live in a state of limbo with that because the only cause I have for the episodes is allergies which may or may not be the case. Now she has this unexplained weight loss and other things going on.

@Raintyger Comfortable with death? No, not at all, but is anyone? I have lost people and pets and I'll never "get used to it." I don't feel anyone does. Am I religious if you're asking? Yes I am. I believe my departed cats are with God but it doesn't make anything any easier.

 

[fleabags mom]

All I can say is your cats must be the unluckiest cats in the world to have so many illnesses, poor little things. I cannot help with this, I see no point in trying to help you consider other possibilities than the very worst scenario which you seemed determined to do so , so with the warmest of wishes I wish you and your kitties all the luck in the world. Take care.

 

[feralvr]

I have been keeping up here, Worried. I just don't know what to offer you anymore other than just know that my heart goes out to you and I hope that you can find some peace and acceptance that some things are just not in our control - or just cannot be prevented or found out. We would need that crystal ball and even then, I don't think I would want that. Learning to live with uncertainty of what the future holds day by day with our furbabies is not easy, not in the least, but it is life, it is living. I am a hypervigilant type person as well, so I understand that too. I just have learned how to control my inner thoughts/feelings over the years so that I am not in a constant state of anxiety over some things in my life (people/animals) which can effect the ones I love in a negative way. Sometimes, you have to let go of that anxiety/concern and things may become more clear and easier to handle. This is just my personal experience and may not work for you, hun. But, just know, I hold you close and do hope good and happy things for you and for your beautiful kitties.

p.s. I set up a shrine of sorts for my Wilbur on my dresser. His ashes, an stone angel sitting next, two of his special toys, his collar with his tag, and a special necklace that I wear everyday, take off at night and put on his urn. It makes me cry and I have tears just telling this, but I think it has helped me in a way to come to turn with him being gone, physically anyway. Spiritually, he IS with me and will be forever, and ever. Grief can linger for a very, very long time - months, years. But we have to go on, live, love and not let that grief consume us.

 

[worriedsomuch]

 
All I can say is your cats must be the unluckiest cats in the world to have so many illnesses, poor little things. I cannot help with this, I see no point in trying to help you consider other possibilities than the very worst scenario which you seemed determined to do so , so with the warmest of wishes I wish you and your kitties all the luck in the world. Take care.

I am trying to not get offended or sensitive here but I thought this post was uncalled for. Maybe in a sense I'm asking for it since I act so nervous all the time and post threads. Mostly I came here because I found support from others with knowledge that can reassure me. For example, in the summer, when Grace started with her issues, I found solace from people here that also had cats with unexplained tics/twitching. Sometimes this site helps me on how I make my decisions as well on whether I should rush off for vet visits or testing. Also, everyone here is a cat lover so I don't expect to be judged but I feel like you are judging me. Also what do you mean I must have the "unluckiest cats" in the world? My cats that passed had TRUE illnesses otherwise they would not be dead. I wasn't fortunate to just have a cat die of "old age" if there is such a thing. Also, Grace does have bad ears, allergies and tics that the vet diagnosed just as her sister has asthma. Maybe you are being sarcastic or whatever and if you think I am over reacting regarding the weight issue, fine. You are entitled to your opinion. I've appreciated the support I've gotten so far and I did appreciate your posts too and your attempts to reassure me. It's not like I don't consider "other possibilities" because I do. Sometimes it's all that keeps me going is some hope that there is nothing seriously wrong with Grace. Sorry if my negativity upsets you. I'll refrain from posting now.

 

[fleabags mom]

 
I'll refrain from posting now.

That would be silly wouldn't it? You get on with the folk here, they've helped you, so why stop because of one person? I am not asking you to stop, far from it, I wished you good luck and I meant it. I want things to be ok with you and your kitties.

Sarcasm? No, not really, but just to point out that if your cats had all the illnesses that you are fretting over without proof then they would be the unluckiest cats in the world. Kinda trying to point out that you are looking for things to be wrong with them. The weight issue was talked about at length, many folk coming up with all sorts of reassuring words and shared experiences with you and you're still worried over something that is perfectly natural - despite the vet reassuring you too. If you can't be reassured by a vet who's checked your cat over, how can I make you feel any better and worry less? I can't.

Same with the UTI. Please have a look a the many many posts here about their cats and UTI's because the symptoms are very similar. You started to panic over the possibility that your cat went to the litter box twice in 5 mins or so. Something you do not even know for sure actually happened, tho by your last post on UTI's you've written that it did, so what changed? So no other typical behaviours have been displayed, none at all. No pain, no peeing on clothes or outside the litter box, no blood, no crying, no raise in temperature, no lethargy, no licking. No, she's playing and eating normally. Does that really sound like a cat with a UTI to you? No, I think that you're looking for things. I cannot help you any longer - I've shared my experiences with my own cat's UTI & weight, I've tried to be calm and help you calm down a bit because by your own admissions, you're crying in vets, fretting, worried, feeling a wreck make me sad. I hate to see someone like this, especially when there is no need to be like this, it comes from you and that's why I tried to help. It makes no sense to me to fret over something that hasn't happened yet, fret when it DOES happen.  I really do wish you some peace soon and hope everything ends up ok with your cats. Please don't stop posting for me, I will just not post on your threads. How does that sound?

 

[stephenq]

Hi as someone who follows this thread from time to time but rarely posts I have a couple of thoughts.

1- other than a behavior which relates to an obvious medical emergency there's almost no single behavior in a cat by itself that should be considered abnormal. In other words a cat who hides under couch but then comes out and plays then the hiding behavior is essentially not relevant.

What's relevant are trends. in other words cats like people have weight that fluctuates little up-and-down back-and-forth. This fluctuation means nothing. But if a cats weight goes down and continues to go down over time that's a trend and that's relevant. My vet likes to say it takes three weights to make a trend. the first weight is just a baseline. the second weight if different indicates a fluctuation and the third weight in the same direction is a trend.

What your vet can and should do for you is give you a "concern weight" and if you're cat Doesn't hit that weight you do nothing and don't worry at all. But the moment the cat hits that weight you call the vet. So if that magic number is 8.5 pounds then no matter what your cats weight is when it's above 8.5 pounds no matter how it goes up-and-down you do not worry and do nothing.

2- my second observation is I think that your anxiety around your cats health is hindering your ability to see their real situation. One result of this is that this Thread has become more about you in a sense than about your cats. And I'm not sure what we can do about this but perhaps we should all step back a little bit and give you some room.

We can't diagnose your cats from here nor can we see your interaction with them. So perhaps a better idea would be for you to invite a friend over to look at your cats and observe your interaction and their behavior and by doing this you may get a more objective opinion as to what the situation is. And finally perhaps you too should step back a bit and rely less on us in giving you guidance.

Anxiety can be a vicious circle which causes one to see things that aren't really there which in turn causes more anxiety. There have been times in my own life when I've been so hypervigilant that I've caused myself great anxiety over my own health when in fact there was nothing wrong. From time to time I've had to break that cycle with the occasional use of a little anti-anxiety medication which has worked really well.

Edit:I'm sending you calming thoughts :-)

 

[worriedsomuch]

If I could delete my last post, I would. I sincerely apologize to @Fleabags Mom for the way I reacted. I also appreciate @Feralvr and @stephenq advice regarding trends. I know this will just come off as more over reacting but unfortunately I think I am starting to see "trends." I truly believe something is definitely wrong with Grace now and sadly I feel like maybe I "wished" it upon her by always worrying. She is just not herself and neither am I. She has taken to hiding more often, acts very afraid of nothing, and doesn't seem to be enthusiastic/playing like she used to. I fear the "gut feeling" I always think I have might be right this time.

 

[stephenq]

Well there is nothing wrong in taking her to the vet and listening to your instincts - in fact its important to do this, BUT, once you do that then its time to listen to the vet (or another vet if you want a second opinion).  And its important that you listen to the vet with a clear head and not from a position of deep fear.

Your cat is exhibiting some sort of behavior change. This can mean one of two things generally: 1) It can indicate that she is ill in some manner to be determined or equally possible 2) it can indicate a behavioral (non-medical) cause.  In other words, she may appear frightened because she is scared or anxious, not because she is sick.  People can be this way too.   So if you and your vet rule out a medical cause, then you need to start looking at either environmental (external) or internal causes of her behavior.  At that point I would highly recommend a certified animal behaviorist to do a consult with you, and your vet may be able to give you a reference.

Just remember, (absent actual medical symptoms) it is impossible to make the logical leap from behavior change to medical cause simply by observing a change to behavior.  It could be medical and it could be behavioral.  If you assume one and ignore the other you risk misdiagnosing your cat and doing her a disservice.

I'm sure @Fleabags Mom is grateful for your comment and perhaps she too wishes she could take some things back. 

Stephen

 

[AbbysMom]

How much time do you spend watching Grace, staring at her, or examining her? Cats don't really enjoy that sort of thing and will hide. It's possible she is picking up on your anxiety.

 

[oneandahalfcats]

I too lost a cat to cancer - squamous cell. It was a shock to discover that a lump was found under my cat's tongue during a teeth cleaning, and when biopsied, proved to be cancerous. There was nothing that could be done on account of the location of the tumor. We elected to put Gustav to sleep. It was a very difficult decision to make, but it was the most loving and humane thing to do. There were a few moments of 'could of' , 'should have' , and 'if only' when I learned about how this happens, but I had to let this go. Cancer is no one's fault. It just happens. At some point you have to come to terms with this and your loss and move on, for your own sake and sanity, but also, so that you can make room for other pets in your heart. Carrying grief for your Tito, means your current kitties are not getting all of you.

Cats are super sensitive and this includes our interactions and moods when around them. They take a lot of their cues from us as the alpha species. If we are not happy, then this in turn can make our cats unhappy. I have a female who is my little mama. When she hears my husband and I having an animated conversation or disagreeing about something, she will think something is wrong and come running to where I am and start circling around me or get on me because she senses that I am upset about something. Cats can sense stress in us and some will respond by bonding with us, or may start to feel effected by it, hide or exhibit strange behavior. Its important to reinforce with animals that everything is okay.

Cats can lose a bit of weight for different reasons, just like people. Cats are notoriously finicky when it comes to food and so there can be a lack of appetite for a certain type of food. This doesn't mean there is something medically wrong. Sometimes I have noticed that my little female has dropped a bit of weight but then I think about the possibilities such as quite often my big boy Max will eat her food and so she doesn't always get her full ration. The fact that a year or so ago we introduced a new member to the family - a young, rambunctious Tuxedo boy. When I started feeding Maggie in another room by herself and making it so she has more opportunity to be away from Thomas, she put the weight back on.

While the cancer has taught me be more diligent andf aware and to do some things differently, I am mindful to temper this new found diligence and awareness with common sense and to keep in mind that I can't control some things that are just part of life, genetics, the hand that my cats were dealt when they were first born and the care or lack of it, that they received previously. All of my cats are adopted and had previous owners. What I do have control over is the quality of food that I serve, that they have a safe, happy and loving home to live in, clean drinking water, yearly check-ups at the vet, lots of play time, but also the freedom and their own space to just be cats. As much as I love my cats, I realize that they have a life to live too, not just the life as my companions.

I don't get the sense that there is anything wrong with Grace, other than normal cat behavior. Don't forget that cats are generally independent and like their space. If Grace is hiding sometimes, then this is completely normal. If she is the laid back type, she will seek solitude more often than your other cats who may be more socially outgoing. My female will hide sometimes when she has had enough of Thomas's pestering, or just to have some time to herself. Ultimately, if my cats are eating, drinking and eliminating well, then I generally take this as a good indication that all is well.

I hope something in the above can help in helping you to see things differently.

 

[feralvr]

I hope you don't mind my posting the animal communicator name here instead of through PM. I figured someone else may be interested as well. Ellen has worked with me, LDG and other's here on site with great success and has brought me great peace. Here is her website http://enlightenedanimals.com/ I also had the pleasure of meeting Ellen in person as she happens to be the neighbor of my SIL in Evergreen, CO. Small world.