Got married, do I take the cat?

[capt_jordi]

I agree that if she is so attached to you that you should take her. And rescue an older not as playful cat to be her companion while you all are at work. And as for the Mojo issue, maybe you should just get your mom a new kitten. Well only if they are up to it of course!

When we moved all 3 of ours adjusted no problem at all. They made themselves at home in under a weekend! But there was no option of leaving them where we were, and we believe there was crap going on while my mom and I werent home.
Good luck with whatever you end up doing!

 

[menasmom]

TAKE THE CAT WITH YOU!! She's obviously very attached to you and would wonder where you went and why you didn't take her with you. I moved from NY to Vegas and then to Florida and took ALL of my "kids" with me. There was no way anyone was going to be left behind.

 

[jenc511]

I originally left my Siamese behind when I moved out because she had been living with my mom and her Siamese for about ten years (along with me) - I figured she deserved to stay in an environment she was used to, even though it tore me up to leave her behind. She started hiding under furniture and was very depressed. Whenever I would go visit, she was very clingy. I had adopted a preggo stray, and I'd bring her over with her son to play in the cat-fenced backyard. The night Sam got in my cats' carrier and wouldn't budge when it was time for us to go home, I decided to take her home with me - she rode in my lap, got into the new place, took her place on the bed, and never looked back. She never really liked the new cats, but she was ecstatic to be with me. I have never had a cat bond to me like that, and I think a lot of cats can do just fine even if "their" humans leave them (and I have had plenty of cats like this), but some cats bond very tightly with certain people and just won't do okay without them. If your cat is going to be depressed at your departure, please take her.

 

[pookieboy]

Chances are she'd be happier at your parents. Afterall, her 'friends' are there, she has the run of a whole house as opposed to a much smaller apartment plus she would be by herself all day while you two worked. You could try taking her with but I would bet money she would much prefer the only home she's only known as opposed to new digs.

 

[noludoru]

It sounds to me a bit like bbey is being harassed by poor Mojo, and while she likes him a bit, she doesn't like his kittenish antics. My Tom is like that, and I have found out since I've had him that he really would have done a LOT better as an only kitty, or with an older, sedate companion. If Abbey stays away from the other dog and cat in your parent's household, chances are she's not terribly fond of them....

My opinion is that if Abbey really loves you, and you and your wife adore her, that you ought to take her with you. If it turns out she is terribly uncomfortable in your new apartment, after a few weeks of not settling in and enjoying things, you could return her to your parents' house.

If you DO decide to take her with you, PLEASE get some of your blankets/rugs/whatever from your house and some from your parents' house that they won't mind missing for a week or a few, and have them on the floor/beds/wherever at home where Abbey is for at least a few days, if not longer, and when ready to bring Abbey home, lay them about in places she is most likely to stay, so she has the comfort of home with her.

With your new cat toys and such? Don't spring them all on her at once.... keep a few in hiding at your house and/or move some smaller ones to your parent's house to absorb the smells. Get soem of your parents' clothing, dirty laundry, whatever, and put them on your furniture when you're not sitting on it, use her familiar food dishes for a while and slowly transition her to the new ones once she's settled in... that sort of thing.

But some feliway, I believe it's effective for 80% of cats--so it's likely it will work for her, and it will help calm her down.. you can spray it on things with new smells or get one of the plug-ins to disperse the scent throughout your rooms. It'll make things feel more "homey."

Extra litterboxes are a must, and confining her to a smaller room to make sure she feels secure at first will be helpful.

Just remember, moving is a big thing for cats..and if you're already unsure about whether she belongs with you (I'm not!

) you are more apt to worry and act abnormally during the moving process, and overreact to her reaction about moving. She's going to be nervous and scared, and it'll last for a while, but I'm sure she'll quickly get over it if you try to make things as smooth as possible.

No matter what you choose to do--good luck, and I hope you and your wife have a great time and will always be blessed enough to share your life with kitties.

 

[jellybella]

That is a very tough decision. You have to ask yourself a few questions:
Is she happy where she is?
Will she be in a similar circumstance where you're moving?
Will it be a harmonious home for her (if a new spouse isn't ready to share you with a cat, that's not harmonious)?
Will moving cause her a lot of stress?
If you leave her can you insure that she'll still receive good care? Are you willing to make the effort to get her that care?


We had to do this. We just couldn't pull up stakes and move Molly when DH moved out of his dad's house. She was almost 10 years old and would have been going from a large ranch house in a big suburban lot to a small city flat where she would have to stay inside (no nice deck to sit out on).

We do still insure that she gets vet care, good food and lots of lovin' and we see her whenever we can. My FIL loves her and she's as much his cat as ours now.

 

[rockcat]

Johnclopton, How is Abbey doing?