Gosh i feel horrible!

[pushylady]

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I'll be completely honest here and say that I really don't think you should apologize either, Fran. Has you mother ever apologized to you for being drunk and hurting your feelings? most likely not and to me, by apologizing to her you are condoning her right to get drunk and yell at you about nothing. I'm glad you stood up for yourself Fran

one thing about alcoholics, nothing is ever their fault and if you continually allow her to assign the blame at you, there is no reason for her to take responsibilty for her actions. Not that I think you're gonna get some miraculous turn around with her, but let her ponder what you said and maybe talk to her lately, hopefully you can catch her while she's sober. Lots of

Fran, like I told you before alcoholism has the ability to destroy not only the alcoholics life, but everyone's around them, be strong

I agree.
Children of alcoholics have to put up with a lot of crap all their life, then on top of that they get to feel guilty about resenting their parents, and heaven forbid you distance yourself from them!
You have a right to set boundaries, Fran.
You have a right to not be treated badly.
You need to stick up for yourself and protect yourself. You have to get on with your life, and we all deserve to be as happy as we can. Even if that means cutting people out of your life to do so.

 

[trouts mom]

Oh Fran

I know how you feel. My mom is an alcoholic as well, complete with the bitterness, guilt trips and angry slurring late night phone calls. I have snapped at her many times..and often feel guilty afterward because its not my mother being drunk and annoying. Its the drug.

My sister and I have tried for years to talk to her..but her husband (not our dad) is the same way so its hard for her to see a reason to stop.

When she is sober, she is wonderful..we have never been very close though and the alcohol does not help.

Unfortunately, if there's one thing I know..they will not change until THEY want to. Luckily, she recently had an old friend call her to tell her she had almost died from an alcohol related coma, and now her friend is sober and happy...hopefully my mom follows the same example before reaching the same fate.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Fran, I know how hard it is, but hun there is not much you can do. An intervention might help, but even still if your mom doesn't want to change, she won't.

 

[jennyr]

Oh Fran I am sorry and I wish there was something more I can say. Only what I have said before, that I really think YOU need more support in your life, and you should try again to join a group helping families of alcoholics. TCS is great, but you need professional face to face support. I think your mother is beyond help at this point, unless she suddenly ddecides for some reason th change, and as you said, that is not likely to happen.

 

[fwan]

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

Oh Fran

I know how you feel. My mom is an alcoholic as well, complete with the bitterness, guilt trips and angry slurring late night phone calls. I have snapped at her many times..and often feel guilty afterward because its not my mother being drunk and annoying. Its the drug.

My sister and I have tried for years to talk to her..but her husband (not our dad) is the same way so its hard for her to see a reason to stop.

When she is sober, she is wonderful..we have never been very close though and the alcohol does not help.

Unfortunately, if there's one thing I know..they will not change until THEY want to. Luckily, she recently had an old friend call her to tell her she had almost died from an alcohol related coma, and now her friend is sober and happy...hopefully my mom follows the same example before reaching the same fate.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Fran, I know how hard it is, but hun there is not much you can do. An intervention might help, but even still if your mom doesn't want to change, she won't.

Well the only thing im lucky is that my mother is deaf and she cant call my phone to abuse me, because gosh if she was hearing she would abuse the phone badly

but when i was living with my ex last year she would send messed up faxes, and i knew she was drunk because of her hand writing. When i was younger she used to go to my friends places at 9 pm to talk to their parents how lonely she was ect, and then when she got home she went crazy at me for no reason.

ANyway the first thing that will happen when she gets to Rome is drinking, she wont have internet or fax in the first 2 - 3 weeks, so ive already told my dad to be prepared.

Jenny, i know, im looking into it as soon as the move is done and i have my work schedule ready i am attending the classes

which should be in about 2 weeks.

 

[neetanddave]

Hang in there Fran. Like others said here, you have the right to be happy. Sometimes that means letting the ones you love ruin their lives, but you can't "fix" someone. They have the problem, they need to solve it. That applies to situations other than alcoholism.

Hang in there!

 

[coolcat]

Originally Posted by KittenKiya

We are all human, we all say things that we don't mean, and sometimes if we did mean it, perhaps we could have said it better.

...wise words from Janet!...

Dear Fran you´re a brave girl because you trust in us to tell us the Mom´s problem..

..this is dignus of admire!.....

...

I´m not judge too ( like Susie´s say) But you do well to vent here your feelings!

....

Don´t give up, my Brave Girl!

Sinceresly, your truly friend!....Rigz!.....

 

[katiemae1277]

Originally Posted by jennyranson

Oh Fran I am sorry and I wish there was something more I can say. Only what I have said before, that I really think YOU need more support in your life, and you should try again to join a group helping families of alcoholics. TCS is great, but you need professional face to face support.

I agree totally! I'm so glad that you're going to get some help for you, when my dad went sober, I was still young, maybe 6 or 7, but I went into counseling for a year or so, and let me tell you, I came out of that situation with a lot less baggage than I could have had and a greater understanding of alcoholism, it will do you wonders Fran