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- Jul 8, 2016
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Frankie passed on Saturday. It was unexpected, he became so sick. Frankie was only about two years old, at most. He wasn't exactly my cat, but he was a cat who I fed outside when he was very young until he was socialized enough to be brought indoors. I worried about him a lot when he was an outdoor cat and I knew he needed some vet care after he developed a swollen, squinty eye. He adjusted to being an indoor cat easily and was very loving and craved attention and got along with other cats just fine. My mom ended up adopting him after losing her little FeLV+ cat, Tommy. We found out Frankie had FIV when we got him to the vet, but his health seemed good once his eye issue cleared up...
We didn't know that he'd developed FIP and while my mom and I went on a week-long trip he deteriorated. It's everyone's worst fear that while they're away their cat will get sick and I'm still struggling to accept what happened. A cat sitter came to care for Frankie and two other cats twice a day, but apparently, she didn't realize that Frankie was in a bad way. When I last saw him the day we got back from our trip his eyes were watery and he looked like he didn't feel well at all. My mom took him to the vet the next morning, but his condition declined rapidly. The vet drained fluid from his abdomen, but he didn't improve. So the decision was made to let him go, as he wasn't going to get better.
My mom was with him when he passed. I regret that I wasn't there to see him one last time. When I saw him the day before, I had assumed he had an eye infection or some virus that was treatable. I hadn't expected to get a call from my mom saying he was so sick that letting him go was the kindest thing to do for him. I could have gone to see him, but it would have taken me about half an hour or so to drive to the emergency vet to be with him. By that time he was on oxygen and was struggling to breathe. I didn't want him to suffer waiting on me. And I didn't want to watch him die... I asked my mom to say goodbye for me, but I think I was in shock at the time. I just couldn't process it. I know he was with someone who loved him and he spent more time with my mother than with me, but I still regret that I wasn't there. I don't even know if he would have been aware of my presence, as sick as he was, but I was the one who took care of him while he lived outside and he became attached to me before anyone else.
Overall I'm just at a loss. I wish I'd been able to spend more time with him. After my mom took him in I had hoped he'd live a long, happy life and I'd get to see him often. I'd figured if my mom was unable to take care of him anymore, I'd become his guardian. I feel terrible that Frankie was alone most of the time this past week. I wish I could have been there for him. I wish the cat sitter had noticed that he wasn't doing well. I wish that we'd known he had FIP sooner. I know it's a devastating illness, but I just wish there was more that we could've done for him. And I feel so bad for my mom because she decided to adopt Frankie after losing Tommy last December... And her cat Edward won't be with us for much longer, either, as he has nasal cancer... Losing Frankie so suddenly is just crushing.
I'm sorry, Frankie. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I knew you only for a little while, but I won't forget you.