Goodbye, My Sweet, Handsome Man.

[kittysprinkles]

Just a few, short months ago I was told my 15 year old man, Parker, had failing kidneys. My vet didn't have much say aside from "make sure he gets a lot of water" and "you'll know it's time when he stops eating". She didn't tell me the whole truth.

He was skinny but still full of life. He slept on my bed every night, followed me everywhere, played, ate all of his meals and spent plenty of time on my lap.

I had no idea how bad off he really was but after he urinated in a very odd place the other night, something deep inside me told me it might be time.

Yesterday, he ate his breakfast and lunch. He snuggled with me all day and we played together, took pictures together and he chatted to me like he always did. Aside from his weight, he seemed like he was doing pretty well. He hid the true extent of his ailing body from me. So as my partner was on her way to the vet with him, I was overcome with extreme guilt. I thought maybe it was too soon. However, the vet said he was very much dehydrated and his she suspected a tumor, not declining kidney function. She said I absolutely made the right decision as it was likely he would have went downhill at any moment. He was very sick. In fact, she was surprised he was still eating and alert at that point.

Last night was the first night in a long, long time that I went to sleep in my bed without him right beside me. I held onto his blanket he always slept on. Waking up without him here was like getting hit by a huge truck. The pain is overwhelming and I feel so empty and lost.

I rescued him about 10 years ago and he ended up rescuing me when my life took a downward spiral. He loved me through everything and ultimately became my reason for living. I feel like he stuck around as long as he did to make sure I was okay before he left me. We saved each other. I'm going to miss him forever.

So long baby boy. Thank you for being my best friend, my comforter, my world. I love you forever.

 

[Furballsmom]

RIP sweetheart baby Parker.

You fulfilled your job as a loving feline to the utmost, no other cat could have done better.

You are in a place of warmth and light, with no pain, no struggles and your strength and grace have been returned to you.

 

[les26]

Oh man, another heartbreaking story, I am so so sorry that you lost your little friend, he sounded like a wonderful cat, but if he was not well anymore it was time to let go even though we NEVER want to, but he is fine now, just fine, it is you who is hurting and will for awhile and that is understandable, but with time it does get better and maybe when the time is right you will love another one, never a replacement for him, but another in need who needs you and you need them.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I am so sorry that you lost your little friend, he is fine now and you will see him again one day. I hope your heart heals a bit more each day, Lord Bless you.....

 

[di and bob]

There is a belief here that to end the suffering it is always better to end that pain a day too early than a day too late. Cats are such masters at hiding pain, at going about their lives while suffering, it is terribly hard to pinpoint when the time has come. Somehow you find the strength in your love to go ahead with that horrible decision and then take on their pain as your own.....
Parker needed you as much as you needed him. You were there for him when he needed someone to love, to provide him with a home and care, and he in turn was there for you when you needed a reason to go on. But he had to answer a call that was stronger than he was, a call that we will all have to answer in our lives, a call that cannot be refused. He shared your life journey for a little while, but now must follow a different path, one that will forever parallel your own.
Try not to dwell on the end, and all the would haves, could haves that come with it. It does not change anything and brings nothing but added pain. It makes the death more important than the life, and his life should be made much more important than that, because it was a life full of love and companionship, of family. He would never want you to think of him with such pain. He loves you too much for that, and wants only joy for living and happiness in your life, just as you would want for him if you were the first to go.
He is near, as near as your thoughts and prayers. He wants to know you are alright, that you will send him happiness and sunshine, not tears and grief. The bond of love you formed can never be taken from you. It has a secure place in your very soul, is a part of you now. "Death cannot take that which never dies".....
Time is the only thing that helps to dull the sharp edges of grief. And in time your heart will heal. It will always hurt, it will always have a scar, but thankfulness for knowing him, for loving him, will one day come out on top. And you will realize that love is spiritual, so eternal. That the 'essence' that was Parker will always be with you, has changed, but never left....
Take care of yourself, don't let death close your loving heart to new loves. Love needs to be nurtured, to be nourished with more love to continue to grow. Not hidden, left to languish under the darkness of grief. We here at this site that understand what you are feeling will help you through this, because we care, because we too know the pain of a broken heart. We are just a call away....
RIP precious Parker. You will be forever missed, you left a mark on a soul that will always love you. Please send memories that will comfort, send your love to soothe and heal. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[LisaT.]

He was such a beautiful baby boy. I'm so very sorry for your loss. RIP Parker.

 

[kittysprinkles]

Thank you for the kind replies. di and bob, you made me burst into tears! Everything you said is so true and I think in time, I will be able to follow your advice.

I've been going through the grief alone, as my family and friends have all distanced themselves from me. Hard times like these is where Parker would be on my lap, looking into my eyes, reminding me that he was there for me and he'd get me through. Many of those hard times involved deaths of the only remaining family or friends that always supported me and were very close to me.

Parker was my last true support that was ALWAYS here, never judged me and loved me no matter how horrible I felt. He was much like an old human friend, a dog and cat rolled into one. He was certainly one of a kind and anyone who met him agreed.

My apartment feels so empty and I keep hearing his sweet meow, which shakes me to the core every time. Our other kitty has been so calm and quiet, where she is normally getting into everything, I think she feels the loss too. I was hoping she would become a little closer to me but she is my partners cat and doesn't really bother with me.

Sorry for the ramble. Parker was my first cat and the reason I started liking cats. I just don't really know how to begin the healing part.

Here is a picture of him after my Uncle passed away. This is the same look he gave me any time I was struggling.

 

[betsygee]

What a sweet tribute. How wonderful that you found each other. He was a beautiful boy.

RIP, little Parker.

 

[iheartdierks]

He was beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Parker, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

When two souls rescue each other that way, not even death can truly part them. This is because love never dies. It changes form, and continues on, still Love. Love abides, and Parker is with you still. Unseen, perhaps, but maybe heard? With you still and always.

 

[lavishsqualor]

Parker was a handsome boy and he was so fortunate to have such a wonderful custodian. I say this on these threads a lot but I work in property management and see so, so many cats discarded by their owners. Many of us do as much as we can for all the strays and ferals, but our efforts can never take the place of having a safe warm bed and a loving human to snuggle up to.

Parker hit the jackpot when he found you and he returned that good fortune the only way he knew how -- with lots of love.

You did right by him. Don't ever doubt that or have any regrets.

 

[solomonar]

I have astrange feeling that Cats expand their life span only to comfort humans.

Meat only is a huge metabolic pressure. Most chemical compounds that are easy to find and process in an omnivorous diet are difficult to build out of meat alone.

Imagine a man 200 years old.

Think to what that man can understand since most of the brain is inactive, and the support cell remain only few. He/she suffers multiple infections everywhere, and the only reason the pain does not kill out the body is that the nerves cannot properly manage he signals.

That is not life. simply because that man can no longer feel that he/she is alive.

Mr. Parker loved you so much, that he was fighting to stay with you so long. Because You loved him as well, you understand him.

We live our Life, but Life is not ours. All Creatures give back their Life. The time of sorrow always passes. We should obey our duty: to care all Creatures and to care ourselves. We are not alone, so we never fight alone, open the eyes and look around.

Tears here and my head bow to Mr. Parker the Cat and his beloved Human.