Giving Away A Cat

[Norachan]

I think that you need to get Chip neutered. Male cats mark their territory by peeing, something as simple as getting him fixed could solve this. I'd also recommend getting him checked over by a vet to see if he has any medical problems that are making him avoid the litter box.

To be honest a cat that has a history of avoiding the litter box is unlikely to be adopted again. If you turn him over to a shelter he could be there for a very long time. Or even worse........

Do you need help finding a low cost neuter clinic? If you tell us what city and state you live in we could try to help.

 

[solomonar]

I am not sure I got the whole picture, since I am not from your culture.

Still, no matter how rude may sound, impossible things are just impossible.

If you cant deal with the cat, the only way is to give him directly to a person you trust (not to a shelter, not via Internet). Well, it is re-homing, it is separation.

But:

- cats are territorial anyway and getting to a new territory is not such a big deal (some stress do exist - but you may ask for advise in this forum from people knowing more about re-homing)

- cats are social (see colonies), so they like companionship that lasts, but are not like dogs

Cats use the litter box almost by their nature. Something is wrong in the way you care your cat if it does not use the box. Better solve this first, before anything else.

I would not worry to much about separation. Mine was separated, after one month or so of living together with another cat. It is true that this was when he was a kitty.

I also regret some of my decisions in respect to cats. You must give the cat away, as far as I can understand the situation. You will regret that perhaps many years to come. But if you keep the cat and ruining your future, you will regret even more.

I am not here to throw the ball back to you, a 17 years old girl, you should not make such decisions at this age. It is not your cat, it is your family cat. The responsibility belongs to your family. The let you decide. But in a way your family already put you in a situation when only one decision can be made. Because you love the cat most, you should give him away.

Give the cat to a person you trust, that is my advise. Make telephone calls, ask our friends and your relatives, ask your college mates. Do your best.

===

There is Jazz song, titled "The love me or die" (C.W. Stoneking)  - saying  "Flames of Hell licks at my feet". I also feel the flames of Hell while writing the above rows.

 

[Primula]

Because you love the cat most, you should give him away.

That makes no sense.

 

[solomonar]

That makes no sense.

Love is responsibility as well.

Let's have an hypothetical example: three persons guard a cat. Two just accept the cat, while the third really love the cat. So, who will be in-charge of accompanying the cat in his last ride to the vet?

 

[greypaws]

That makes no sense.

IMO, the way I understand the post, when you put the best interest of the cat ahead of your own, you've made the right decision.

IMO, while it may look good on paper, it is not always feasible 100% of the time, to keep an animal or even in the cats best interest to do so. No one has 20-20 vision of what will happen in the future, we'd all probably have made different choices in our lives, if we had access to that. In this case, the OP, whom has not been back to this thread, is 17 years old, without resources and her family is financially unable to care for the cat anymore, plus their living conditions have changed. IMO, giving this cat to someone whom is committed to its well being is most likely for the best, be it a close friend or a no or limited kill shelter.

Of course these are only my opinions on what has been written, Solomnar may well have meant something else.

 

[Primula]

Love is responsibility as well.

Let's have an hypothetical example: three persons guard a cat. Two just accept the cat, while the third really love the cat. So, who will be in-charge of accompanying the cat in his last ride to the vet?

Why would a cat need a guard?

 

[lea98]

Why would a cat need a guard?

A cat needs someone to look after them, a provider and protector. That is what Solomonar meant. Quit being so literal.

 

[LTS3]

A cat needs someone to look after them, a provider and protector. That is what Solomonar meant. Quit being so literal.

Primula wasn't being literal. I believe Primula is originally from the UK where certain words have a completely different meaning from in the US. Let's not assume everyone on TCS is from the US and has a perfect understanding of US English and the US meaning of those words.

Let's get back to the OP's dilemna of needing to give away her cat becauase of financial difficulties and provide some help and suggestions. @ImTheBae do you have any updates? Do you need help findng a low cost spay / neuter clinic so your cat can be neutered which may stop the inappropriate peeing outside the litter box?

 

[solomonar]

I did not want to use the word "owner" in this context. I believe that humans cannot "own" wild animals. Since I consider the cat as a wild animal, and not a domestic one, I prefer some other words. Sorry for misunderstanding. I will try to be more "mainstream", even in the cases I do not agree with the widely spread terminology. 

 

[solomonar]

Do not forget the thread's author age: 17 years. And the specific context: she has to decide on the cat's life at this age, under difficult personal circumstances.

 

[jazzyp]

I have a few thoughts here.  The first one is that your cat needs to see a vet, to find out of there is a medical reason for his house soiling.  Please reconsider your decision to give him away, unless you can find a reputable cat rescue that would place him in a loving, and perhaps permanent, foster home.  Do not take him to the shelter.  He will not be adopted.  Many healthy kittens are euthanized every year, and the chance of someone adopting an older cat that was surrendered for litter box and possible health issues is vanishingly small.

Now.  I have a few words for your parents:

Why have you put your child in this position?  When you bring home a pet for your kids, or allow them to adopt one, that pet may be the children's friend, but it is YOUR responsibility.  You knew the kids would grow up and leave for school or a job, and that they might not be able to take the pet, and you should have been prepared for that eventuality.  Your child should be able to move on in life, knowing that you will care for and protect the animal that was a faithful friend for so many years.  If the problem is money, try to find a low-cost clinic to help you.  Start a GoFundMe page.  Whatever it takes, do it.  And if you have raised children who are willing to just "get rid of" an animal when it becomes inconvenient, you are doing something wrong.  How do you hope to be treated when you are no longer young, when you have become ill, incontinent, and less than cute or useful?  That's how you need to treat this poor old cat.  Your children will remember the lesson.

 

[Primula]

I have a few thoughts here.  The first one is that your cat needs to see a vet, to find out of there is a medical reason for his house soiling.  Please reconsider your decision to give him away, unless you can find a reputable cat rescue that would place him in a loving, and perhaps permanent, foster home.  Do not take him to the shelter.  He will not be adopted.  Many healthy kittens are euthanized every year, and the chance of someone adopting an older cat that was surrendered for litter box and possible health issues is vanishingly small.

Now.  I have a few words for your parents:

Why have you put your child in this position?  When you bring home a pet for your kids, or allow them to adopt one, that pet may be the children's friend, but it is YOUR responsibility.  You knew the kids would grow up and leave for school or a job, and that they might not be able to take the pet, and you should have been prepared for that eventuality.  Your child should be able to move on in life, knowing that you will care for and protect the animal that was a faithful friend for so many years.  If the problem is money, try to find a low-cost clinic to help you.  Start a GoFundMe page.  Whatever it takes, do it.  And if you have raised children who are willing to just "get rid of" an animal when it becomes inconvenient, you are doing something wrong.  How do you hope to be treated when you are no longer young, when you have become ill, incontinent, and less than cute or useful?  That's how you need to treat this poor old cat.  Your children will remember the lesson.

Good post.

 

[solomonar]

The other side of the coin: the thread's author searches for help in this forum. She wants to make informed decision.

Her cat already transformed her: helped her to became adult.

 

[silverpersian]

 
   My family has fallen into some unfortunate events and due to financial problems I believe, (along with my older brother) that it'd be best to get rid of our cats and parrot. My mother and two younger siblings disagree. One of our cats, which we've had the longest of the two really helps my sister cope with everything that's happening with our family. So I feel bad giving him away since he's become her therapy pet. But we have a teenage cat who is really having trouble with everything. We got Chip as kitten after Julian died to give company to Bagheera, and my family also thought it'd be best to get me a replacement since it was my cat that died. Due to financial problems we are moving in with family, and we've been in between both our current house and our future home, we've had to spend days at the other house making renovations. When we came back to our current house we found that Chip peed on our dogs bed. So we cleaned the litter box and changed the bed out. But even after that Chip has continued to pee and poo on all of the beds the dog has. And we figured he was acting out because we were gone for so long. So we changed things so we could be back at the house with the cats. But then for school break my siblings and I went away for a couple days while my mom stayed home. When she came back from work he had peed in the bathroom on a towel. Chip is not neutered, and yes, we clean the litter box regularly so  he has no reason to go anywhere else. And the peeing did stop once we came back home. But he did it once again when I left for a couple days, and that's the last time he's peed anywhere, that was a few days ago. Anyways, I don't have the patience to deal with him. I know that sounds selfish but I am really busy, and I can't pay as much attention to him as I used to. I have joint custody over me so I'm going to have to leave the house for days at a time, plus I'm 17 and will be going to college soon, and I don't believe I will be able to take him with me. I think our current life situation is stressing him out and then he's just stressing me out and I don't have the patience or time to actually deal with him. And since he's my cat, my mother has put me in charge of dealing with him. I think that gives me the right to give him away if that's what I think is best for him. He deserves a home where people will actually pay attention to him. He's a really good cuddly cat and he fetches and he's an awesome pet. I just can't deal with him anymore. But the thing is, our other cat has gotten attached to him and I was wondering how badly you guys think giving Chip away would affect Bagheera, especially since he already lost one brother. If the strain of losing another friend would be too big on Bagheera then I won't give Chip away, but if you all think he'll get over it in a decent amount of time then I'd feel much better with going through with my decision.  Anyways, please give me your honest unbiased opinion. 

Older Cat : Bagheera 

Teenage Cat: Chip

Cat that passed away: Julian

What will happen to Chip when you leave for college? Sorry if you explained and I missed it.

If Chip has been with Bagheera since he was a kitten, and he is now teenaged, that means that the two cats are likely to be very attached to each other. Are they? I am trying to answer your specific question about the effect on Bagheera.

 

[imthebae]

No it's alright, and thank you for actually addressing my question. He'd stay at home with my family. If I can take him I would like to. But I'd feel bad separating him from Bagheera anyhow.

Bagheera was an adult when we got Chip, but Chip has been with Bagheera since he was kitten. I think they're pretty close. They sleep together in the mornings in the yin and yang position. And they groom each other. They play together late at night. And they're usually together unless Chip starts annoying Bagheera. 

 

[talkingpeanut]

No it's alright, and thank you for actually addressing my question. He'd stay at home with my family. If I can take him I would like to. But I'd feel bad separating him from Bagheera anyhow.

Bagheera was an adult when we got Chip, but Chip has been with Bagheera since he was kitten. I think they're pretty close. They sleep together in the mornings in the yin and yang position. And they groom each other. They play together late at night. And they're usually together unless Chip starts annoying Bagheera. 

Are you able to get him neutered? It really will help.

 

[imthebae]

Yes I will be calling today or tomorrow to set an appointment. 

 

[jazzyp]

 
No it's alright, and thank you for actually addressing my question. He'd stay at home with my family. If I can take him I would like to. But I'd feel bad separating him from Bagheera anyhow.

Bagheera was an adult when we got Chip, but Chip has been with Bagheera since he was kitten. I think they're pretty close. They sleep together in the mornings in the yin and yang position. And they groom each other. They play together late at night. And they're usually together unless Chip starts annoying Bagheera. 

If your family is willing to keep Chip, why is it even an issue?  Let these two kitties stay together.  Cats who sleep together like that and groom each other are closely bonded, even if they do get a little irritated with each other sometimes.  

 

[talkingpeanut]

Yes I will be calling today or tomorrow to set an appointment. 

That's great! Good for you!

 

[imthebae]

And this is not aimed at anyone specifically. And I hope no one gets offended or anything. I am a very sensitive person who would rather avoid conflict. So I'd like to just say that so I do not upset anyone in anyway. And I hope my tone isn't mean or rude in anyway.  I just think what I'm about to say needs to be out there to be read by others commenting. 

The problem is that he's been peeing and pooping on almost everything the dog touches. And we're under a lot of stress with moving and my mother becoming a single mother and having to support us single handedly after 15 years of being a family. Everything we've known has fallen apart these last few months. We were going to neuter him but right around that time my father left the picture. And my father and I were the animal people of our family and he'd usually deal, with these things. And I'm sorry that the cat wasn't our first priority after misfortune happened to our family. Unfortunately the physical and mental health of my younger siblings comes before the cat. And as for my mom, she had to take on all the responsibilities my father had, and neutering the cat was one we thought could be put off since there were bigger things to take care of. But things are starting to calm down and we will get him neutered and he will become a priority again, now that we are taken care of. 

And for anyone who thinks that my father should help, he is completely out of the picture and cannot help us at all. 

I am very saddened that I actually have to explain this. And that my life needs to be revealed to people I do not personally know in order to get considerate, non-critical responses for my questions. I came here seeking help and that's all I need. I do not need people who do not know me or my situation personally to critic me and my family. I simply needed answers on how to deal with this. If anyone has anything other than help to offer, I would appreciate you not commenting.