just food for thought...i battled this same problem (too freakin bad it ended up being the PERFECT DRESS, CEREMONY, ETC.. WRONG MAN! so sad!). I got to the point of being so stressed trying to please EVERYONE, family, mom, dad, friends, etc... (keep in mind also that people act weirdo sometimes....u find out who your real friends are at most major life events). We had reserved the church, the reception, all of it. One day i just snapped, I picked up the phone, BAWLING, called "him" (ugh) and said "how important is the actual wedding to you"? His response was "not at all". I said whats our most favorite place in the world, Disneyworld right.....and that was it, we picked up the phone and Disney took care of the rest. We told them about how much we could spend and they gave us package options, it was so easy and wonderful. It seriously was a PERFECT setting, the price wasnt bad like one may think being that its Disney (now im sure if we did it at that wedding pavillion it would have been but sunset pointe outside was amazing!). We married at the Polynesian Resort at Sunset Pointe with pictures showing cinderellas castle at sunset in the background as well as the lake and their beautiful landscape. They took wonderful pictures all throughout the hotel (think hawaii setting) like in front of the waterfalls, etc.. They had a violinist play the music as I came out and it was just us and the preacher and a few on hand disney employees. They provided the beautiful boquets, cake, limo (or horse drawn carriage), pictures, minister who counseled us prior to so that it wasnt so informal. It seriously couldnt have been more perfect and we saved THOUSANDS and made sure to get lots of picts (could have done the video but opted not to) and the family was just as happy that we did that. Mom and dad started to come but I cant remember, something came up at the last minute but even still....it was the MOST WONDERFUL, intimate, beautiful wedding ever and although my biggest fear was id regret not doing it local but never once did i have regrets.
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Getting more and more depressed....
- Thread starter oscarsmommy
- Start Date
ohhh, now im so sad too! NOW ive got the most amazing beautiful man ever and I can never re-live that magical perfect day with the wrong man, how depressing!
What i meant to add though is follow YOUR gut feeling, no one else's ideas, opinions, etc.. because in 10 years from now are you going to look back at your pictures and think oh wow im so glad I did that for aunt sue, oh wow, im so glad my 3rd cousin on uncle vinny's side was able to make it because i changed dates for them to do so, HECKKK NO! Your going to want to have peace knowing that you did what you wanted! You want this day to be the most special (aside from birth of a child if thats in your future). You want the world to stop when you look into his eyes and say your vows as if there is no one else there except the two of you, right? I PROMISE your family will see the light on your face in your joy and happiness after your decision is finally made to do what YOU guys want to do (maybe not at first but they will...i swear on it!) that will be all that matters. AND you know things are so different these days, anything goes. Ive been to a couple different style weddings in the past year or two where the couple got married then months even a year later they had a very nice reception party with the dj and all...still go the gifts, etc.. JUST AS IF they had just been married...I mean lets all get honest....thats the best part of a wedding, to me anyway, is the reception typically. What the wedding itself lasts all of 15 minutes? OH and girl, I STILL wore my absolutely AMAZING beautiful wedding dress (im usually not a bragger but this was the perfect dress too!)....train and all with just me, him the minister and Disney employees! OHHH, gosh and the kids at the hotel as I was escorted to sunset pointe all were freaking out, "look mommy, its cinderella!!" THAT was just the icing on the cake! ;-)
What i meant to add though is follow YOUR gut feeling, no one else's ideas, opinions, etc.. because in 10 years from now are you going to look back at your pictures and think oh wow im so glad I did that for aunt sue, oh wow, im so glad my 3rd cousin on uncle vinny's side was able to make it because i changed dates for them to do so, HECKKK NO! Your going to want to have peace knowing that you did what you wanted! You want this day to be the most special (aside from birth of a child if thats in your future). You want the world to stop when you look into his eyes and say your vows as if there is no one else there except the two of you, right? I PROMISE your family will see the light on your face in your joy and happiness after your decision is finally made to do what YOU guys want to do (maybe not at first but they will...i swear on it!) that will be all that matters. AND you know things are so different these days, anything goes. Ive been to a couple different style weddings in the past year or two where the couple got married then months even a year later they had a very nice reception party with the dj and all...still go the gifts, etc.. JUST AS IF they had just been married...I mean lets all get honest....thats the best part of a wedding, to me anyway, is the reception typically. What the wedding itself lasts all of 15 minutes? OH and girl, I STILL wore my absolutely AMAZING beautiful wedding dress (im usually not a bragger but this was the perfect dress too!)....train and all with just me, him the minister and Disney employees! OHHH, gosh and the kids at the hotel as I was escorted to sunset pointe all were freaking out, "look mommy, its cinderella!!" THAT was just the icing on the cake! ;-)
Is it possible just to run off and get married, then in a year have a nice reception for family and friends. I wouldn't wait because of family, you're in love....just go and get married and to heck with the rest.
Believe me, I know what you're going through. We moved our wedding date SIX times.
Most of the changes were due to DH's sister. She was totally single before we got engaged, but she was DETERMINED not to be the only single person in the family. She actually met a guy and got engaged within a few months of our engagement. Then she kept planning her wedding a couple of weeks before we had planned ours. Because we had a lot of his family who were coming in from all over the country, we didn't want to burden them with making two trips so close together. So we'd change our date...then she'd change hers. (Then, in the end she changed her mind and decided she wanted only her parents in attendance so they got married in a private ceremony where her parents lived. THEN she decided that she was sad that she didn't have pictures and brought her wedding dress with her to our wedding. She wanted to wear it and have pictures taken at all of our events, as if it were her wedding. I love my SIL, but she's a little nuts.
)
I had the same philosophy you did, though...I didn't WANT it to be just about me. I wanted it to be about both of our families and the joining of our lives together. There are so many people in our lives than just the two of us, and I needed it to be about them, too.
In the end it was a perfect wedding. Not expensive, not over-the-top fancy, and two years later than planned. We got married on the 12th anniversary of our first date, and all of our families were there. It was a wonderful time and I still hear that ours was the most fun people had had at a wedding. It means alot to me that everyone enjoyed it...as it turns out it was the last time all my mother's siblings were together before my aunts and uncles started dying. I wouldn't have changed a single thing about it...not even the date or my crazy SIL.
When it's all said and done I think you'll probably look back and realize that there was a reason for all the bumps in the road. In the end, your wedding will be perfect for you...even if it's not what you pictured ahead of time.
Most of the changes were due to DH's sister. She was totally single before we got engaged, but she was DETERMINED not to be the only single person in the family. She actually met a guy and got engaged within a few months of our engagement. Then she kept planning her wedding a couple of weeks before we had planned ours. Because we had a lot of his family who were coming in from all over the country, we didn't want to burden them with making two trips so close together. So we'd change our date...then she'd change hers. (Then, in the end she changed her mind and decided she wanted only her parents in attendance so they got married in a private ceremony where her parents lived. THEN she decided that she was sad that she didn't have pictures and brought her wedding dress with her to our wedding. She wanted to wear it and have pictures taken at all of our events, as if it were her wedding. I love my SIL, but she's a little nuts.
I had the same philosophy you did, though...I didn't WANT it to be just about me. I wanted it to be about both of our families and the joining of our lives together. There are so many people in our lives than just the two of us, and I needed it to be about them, too.
In the end it was a perfect wedding. Not expensive, not over-the-top fancy, and two years later than planned. We got married on the 12th anniversary of our first date, and all of our families were there. It was a wonderful time and I still hear that ours was the most fun people had had at a wedding. It means alot to me that everyone enjoyed it...as it turns out it was the last time all my mother's siblings were together before my aunts and uncles started dying. I wouldn't have changed a single thing about it...not even the date or my crazy SIL.
When it's all said and done I think you'll probably look back and realize that there was a reason for all the bumps in the road. In the end, your wedding will be perfect for you...even if it's not what you pictured ahead of time.
Is it the wedding that's important to you, or is it being married? If it's being married, then get married now, regardless of who shows up for it. Then in a year on your anniversary you can have the actual wedding with all your friends and family there.
I have no words of wisdom for you at all. Gary and I got married by ourselves thousands of miles away from everyone. Our witnesses were our photographer and his wife - we met him in a bait & tackle shop. It was SO wonderful having it be completely hassle free.
But I understand people want their families to be with them, have the ceremony, &etc.
So I'm just sending lots of hugs.
Laurie
But I understand people want their families to be with them, have the ceremony, &etc.
So I'm just sending lots of hugs.
Laurie
A few months after I became engaged my mom was diagnosed with stage III ovarian cancer so we had to wait for the initial surgery and then through the chemotherapy and then another surgery to see if there was any re-occurance. At that point it was going to be a really quick wedding or a longer wait (which it was) so mom wouldn't have to wear a wig. There was many anxious moments during this time period but worth it in the end.
Just remember your wedding will happen and it should be the way you want it without the influence from any negative family members.
Just remember your wedding will happen and it should be the way you want it without the influence from any negative family members.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #29
Thank you all for everything. Today was rough just because our wedding SHOULD be a month away
I want a marriage more than a wedding, yes. But like I have said that it is hard to make something about just me. I NEED my dad-who is my hero-to walk me down the aisle and give me away to the most wonderful man I could possibly know
It just wouldn't be the same and I know I would regret it if he wasn't there.
I know this month will be really hard. I just need to look at Travis and know that it WILL happen and like someone said everything happens for a reason. God has a plan
I want a marriage more than a wedding, yes. But like I have said that it is hard to make something about just me. I NEED my dad-who is my hero-to walk me down the aisle and give me away to the most wonderful man I could possibly know
I know this month will be really hard. I just need to look at Travis and know that it WILL happen and like someone said everything happens for a reason. God has a plan
