Friend Question (long)

[boog's mom]

Some people use their Stag and Doe parties as "wedding fundraisers," which I think is so tacky. Especially considering that most of these same guests are expected to also shell out money for a gift at the wedding too. Showers are one thing, but these disguised money grabs bother me to no end.

While we all can appreciate the high costs of weddings these days, if they have to hassel their guests/family/friends for money to pay for the wedding...they've planned a wedding that is too big. I'd like to tell her that life is not like Burger King...you can't always have it your way...even if you are the bride!

 

[white cat lover]

Blah. I'd flush that nut down the toilet & avoid her like the plague!

What a "true friend"(that was sarcasm).

Go to the wedding just to keep things "smoothe" among families. I honestly wouldn't bother with the extra $10 on the gift card, though!

IMO, no matter what you do, she will be mad at you.

 

[rockcat]

Yes, exactly. They are wedding fundraisers. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stag_and_doe
I looked it up because I wasn't sure what it was. I thought it was a Jack & Jill shower.

Catlover, the gift cards are probably for a raffle, which they will make money on.

 

[catlover19]

Originally Posted by Rockcat

Catlover, the gift cards are probably for a raffle, which they will make money on.

They aren't for a raffle. If you buy your tickets before August 16 (the stag and doe is the 17th), you get entered into a contest to win $150 in gift cards. That is their way of trying to get people to buy tickets even if they don't come.

I looked at their facebook event for it and there is a ton of people who aren't going and I really don't think all those people bought tickets.

 

[green bunny]

She's trying to extort money out of you. Don't pay the money. If she needs your money that badly, she should have had a wedding budget she could afford. Personally, I don't think that's the case; I think she's just being greedy.

I find it highly disgusting nowadays when people want others to pay for their own weddings. Or they have 4-5 wedding showers and expect a gift from the same people at each of them.

I also find it tacky when guests are invited to the wedding (re: wedding gift) but not to the reception. I think if you can't afford to invite everybody to both places you should put off the wedding until you can afford to. When I was 19, a friend in my group got married, and could only afford to have her wedding party and her family at the reception. The whole thing was screwed up anyway, because she was only getting married because her boyfriend needed a place to live and her parents would only allow him to live in their house if he was married to their daughter.

I was one of the ones just invited to the wedding, and we were all kind of miffed about it. One of the bride's friends in the wedding party decided to put together a "reception" so the ones who weren't invited could come and celebrate with the bride and groom. It was luau- or tiki-themed, which was stupid enough, but the guests were expected to bring their own food and drinks. My sister and I, at least, skipped it.

Tricia