I don't think I normally post things like this, but I need a bit of advice. My Birthday is tomorrow and I just got an e-mail from a casual friend about my plans and can she come.
Well every year my Mother and one of my long time best friends go to a gem show in Ocean City Maryland. It always falls right around my birthday so it usually is part of my celebration. DH works tomorrow and typically works late, so this year Mom, my best friend and I are planning to celebrate at the show on Saturday, and then meet DH, my Step-dad and step-siblings for dinner at the beach.
I'm typically a very private person and I honestly like that this annual event is just the 3 of us (or sometimes my Mom's god-daughter will come, but I've known her since she was tiny so she's like family too).
This friend who wants to be in on any plans and I have known each other about 5 years now, but it's just recently that she's started to call me a lot looking for something to do. She and her husband just separated and she's lonely. I completely understand and sympathize with her for that, but this is a special thing. Am I being just awful for not wanting her to come?
I don't want to lie but I don't know how to handle it. I don't like people asking themselves into plans like that period. I'd never do that myself. I guess I could just tell her about diner and see if she wants to come, but then she'd find out that my Mom, best friend, and I spent the day together and didn't invite her. She is a nice person, but can be a bit much, if that makes sense. I mean I'm not even inviting any other friends, even though I have a few people I consider much closer to me than her. I guess I could go ahead and invite a few other people to dinner, but I don't want my step-dad to try to pay for everyones dinner like he's done before! Another stupid thing, I do not want to be sung to on my birthday like they do at restaurants. My family and I have an agreement on that. I don't do that to them, they won't do that to me! But my friend here, is the kind of person who will do it anyway. Gosh this reminds me of High school drama!
So here's my options so far:
Well every year my Mother and one of my long time best friends go to a gem show in Ocean City Maryland. It always falls right around my birthday so it usually is part of my celebration. DH works tomorrow and typically works late, so this year Mom, my best friend and I are planning to celebrate at the show on Saturday, and then meet DH, my Step-dad and step-siblings for dinner at the beach.
I'm typically a very private person and I honestly like that this annual event is just the 3 of us (or sometimes my Mom's god-daughter will come, but I've known her since she was tiny so she's like family too).
This friend who wants to be in on any plans and I have known each other about 5 years now, but it's just recently that she's started to call me a lot looking for something to do. She and her husband just separated and she's lonely. I completely understand and sympathize with her for that, but this is a special thing. Am I being just awful for not wanting her to come?
I don't want to lie but I don't know how to handle it. I don't like people asking themselves into plans like that period. I'd never do that myself. I guess I could just tell her about diner and see if she wants to come, but then she'd find out that my Mom, best friend, and I spent the day together and didn't invite her. She is a nice person, but can be a bit much, if that makes sense. I mean I'm not even inviting any other friends, even though I have a few people I consider much closer to me than her. I guess I could go ahead and invite a few other people to dinner, but I don't want my step-dad to try to pay for everyones dinner like he's done before! Another stupid thing, I do not want to be sung to on my birthday like they do at restaurants. My family and I have an agreement on that. I don't do that to them, they won't do that to me! But my friend here, is the kind of person who will do it anyway. Gosh this reminds me of High school drama!
So here's my options so far:
- Invite her just to dinner-she will have to drive approx 1hr by herself, may find out she wasn't invited to other plans, either when she shows up or when she tries to see who she can catch a ride with. Plus risk her disregarding my feelings on the whole restaurant birthday singing thing!
- Invite a few other friends to come to dinner, be sure they won't let my step-dad try to pay for everything. This will make my BD a much bigger event than I wanted. Still risk being sung to at the restaurant and just being made a spectacle!
- Don't reply to her e-mail, lie and say I never got it if she asks, which she will. I thing that would be an awful thing to do.
- Just tell her the truth, which is that I just want to celebrate with my husband and family. My best friend has been celebrating holidays with us for years and is considered part of the family now. We have a lot of history together.