Hi there,
I'm not sure if this is the right sub-forum to post in, but here goes...
I recently adopted a cat from the Humane Society. I've wanted a cat since high school, but my parents didn't want one and I was living with them till recently, so I never got to have one. This year, after moving into my own place and breaking up with my long term bf, I decided it was time to get a cat. I really wanted to cuddle with one every night and have one beside me as I read, to play with, etc.
I went to the Humane Society and picked up my lovely girl - she's 6 years old. They didn't know much about her past other than that the previous adopters had returned her because of her aggression towards their cat. I found the staff to be very lacking in their knowledge of her. They assured me that she hadn't been aggressive in the shelter, and when I interacted with her, she seemed normal, liked petting, looked gorgeous (she's a long-haired pixie bob and domestic mix). According to the documents they had on her, she liked petting, being held, and brushing (essential since she's a long haired cat).
It's been over a month since I adopted her, and I've found none of those things to be true. The first day she didn't eat in front of me (waited until I went to bed - as I had expected), but she seemed to be warming up to me after that. She didn't like being picked up or brushed since the beginning, but she did tolerate petting, sometimes even rubbed herself under my stretched hand or rubbing herself against my legs. She purred a lot, loudly in the first couple of days.
The next week after I got her, I had to go to my parents house and took her with me. She hated getting in the carrier, and her first night there, she seemed scared because the next day, I found her hiding under my bed with poop stuck to her fur. She seemed to get better for rest of the week there and even stayed with my parents for a few days without me, happily. When I brought her back to my house, she seemed well adjusted but stopped going into my room or coming on to my bed. Then, over the last two weeks, she's started getting more aggressive, swiping at me when she's had enough petting (I wasn't petting her more than before) and trying to bite my hand. On a couple of occasions, after I gave her catnip. she tried to bite my leg (I pulled away just as I felt her teeth) -- but this is my fault. I didn't know she would have such a reaction and I've stopped giving it to her. I try to play with her twice if not three times a day. I make sure to feed her on schedule every morning and night. I'm learning to back off as soon as I can see her lifting her paw or making an agitated sound. The swiping has gone down by half, I would say, but I still feel like she might turn on me any minute.
She is not a mean cat - she is lovely when she wants to be. She'll lick my hands every day, and blink at me sometimes. She even fell asleep on me once for 20 mins before all this behaviour started! But I over the last couple of weeks, especially after all the swiping and biting attempts, I find myself a bit hesitant to approach her. She did play bite in the first week, but I always was able to give her an alternate toy to direct her attention to. Now, she'll try to grab at my hand and bite it, so giving her a toy isn't working too well.
She is eating and sleeping well. She used her litterbox right from the start and has only had a few litterbox incidents (where she pooped a lot in one night, her litterbox got full, and she pooped outside. Yesterday, she pooped near the liiterbox, even though there was plenty of space in it. But I think these are minor issues. She uses the box majority of the time). She doesn't seem to be in pain of any kind, runs around and plays with wand toys quite enthusiastically. She just doesn't seem to be want to be petted by me...
This is really hard for me because I wanted a cat for so long, and I really wanted an affectionate cat whom I could cuddle with and spend a lot of time with. I guess a lap cat. But she doesn't seem to be a cat that enjoys that. I love my kitty, I really don't want her to go back to the shelter, but the aggressiveness and her not wanting to interact with me too much has been hard on me. The one time she fell asleep on my lap for 20mins (after I picked her up) were probably the happiest 20 mins of my life since I got her. I feel very sad every time she swipes or pushes me away.
I'm not really sure what to do. My parents think that maybe she's just an aggressive cat and showing her nature now that she's more comfortable in my house. The shelter staff said that we can work to reduce her aggressiveness, but they're not sure if she'll ever enjoy being held or petted. This is hard to hear.
I guess I posted here to ask you guys if you had any similar experiences and what you have done? Do you have any advice on how I can deal with my cat? I really want to have a good relationship with her, and desperately want a snuggle buddy cat.
Thanks in advance!
I'm not sure if this is the right sub-forum to post in, but here goes...
I recently adopted a cat from the Humane Society. I've wanted a cat since high school, but my parents didn't want one and I was living with them till recently, so I never got to have one. This year, after moving into my own place and breaking up with my long term bf, I decided it was time to get a cat. I really wanted to cuddle with one every night and have one beside me as I read, to play with, etc.
I went to the Humane Society and picked up my lovely girl - she's 6 years old. They didn't know much about her past other than that the previous adopters had returned her because of her aggression towards their cat. I found the staff to be very lacking in their knowledge of her. They assured me that she hadn't been aggressive in the shelter, and when I interacted with her, she seemed normal, liked petting, looked gorgeous (she's a long-haired pixie bob and domestic mix). According to the documents they had on her, she liked petting, being held, and brushing (essential since she's a long haired cat).
It's been over a month since I adopted her, and I've found none of those things to be true. The first day she didn't eat in front of me (waited until I went to bed - as I had expected), but she seemed to be warming up to me after that. She didn't like being picked up or brushed since the beginning, but she did tolerate petting, sometimes even rubbed herself under my stretched hand or rubbing herself against my legs. She purred a lot, loudly in the first couple of days.
The next week after I got her, I had to go to my parents house and took her with me. She hated getting in the carrier, and her first night there, she seemed scared because the next day, I found her hiding under my bed with poop stuck to her fur. She seemed to get better for rest of the week there and even stayed with my parents for a few days without me, happily. When I brought her back to my house, she seemed well adjusted but stopped going into my room or coming on to my bed. Then, over the last two weeks, she's started getting more aggressive, swiping at me when she's had enough petting (I wasn't petting her more than before) and trying to bite my hand. On a couple of occasions, after I gave her catnip. she tried to bite my leg (I pulled away just as I felt her teeth) -- but this is my fault. I didn't know she would have such a reaction and I've stopped giving it to her. I try to play with her twice if not three times a day. I make sure to feed her on schedule every morning and night. I'm learning to back off as soon as I can see her lifting her paw or making an agitated sound. The swiping has gone down by half, I would say, but I still feel like she might turn on me any minute.
She is not a mean cat - she is lovely when she wants to be. She'll lick my hands every day, and blink at me sometimes. She even fell asleep on me once for 20 mins before all this behaviour started! But I over the last couple of weeks, especially after all the swiping and biting attempts, I find myself a bit hesitant to approach her. She did play bite in the first week, but I always was able to give her an alternate toy to direct her attention to. Now, she'll try to grab at my hand and bite it, so giving her a toy isn't working too well.
She is eating and sleeping well. She used her litterbox right from the start and has only had a few litterbox incidents (where she pooped a lot in one night, her litterbox got full, and she pooped outside. Yesterday, she pooped near the liiterbox, even though there was plenty of space in it. But I think these are minor issues. She uses the box majority of the time). She doesn't seem to be in pain of any kind, runs around and plays with wand toys quite enthusiastically. She just doesn't seem to be want to be petted by me...
This is really hard for me because I wanted a cat for so long, and I really wanted an affectionate cat whom I could cuddle with and spend a lot of time with. I guess a lap cat. But she doesn't seem to be a cat that enjoys that. I love my kitty, I really don't want her to go back to the shelter, but the aggressiveness and her not wanting to interact with me too much has been hard on me. The one time she fell asleep on my lap for 20mins (after I picked her up) were probably the happiest 20 mins of my life since I got her. I feel very sad every time she swipes or pushes me away.
I'm not really sure what to do. My parents think that maybe she's just an aggressive cat and showing her nature now that she's more comfortable in my house. The shelter staff said that we can work to reduce her aggressiveness, but they're not sure if she'll ever enjoy being held or petted. This is hard to hear.
I guess I posted here to ask you guys if you had any similar experiences and what you have done? Do you have any advice on how I can deal with my cat? I really want to have a good relationship with her, and desperately want a snuggle buddy cat.
Thanks in advance!