Finding It Hard To Let Go

[bayadere]

My baby boy passed a week ago. It was probably a car accident though we don't know for sure. I feel so torn up and broken without him. It's really hard studying overseas and not being there while my family buried him and grieved together.

We were best friends for 5 years. He would sleep on my bed with me at night. He'd watch me run around the garden at night. He'd sit next to me when I felt down. He was such a good-natured, placid, loving cat.

I can't believe he's gone. My family is on the other side of the world. They made him a beautiful grave and it's lovely. I just feel so alone and upset; I should be there. I was the first one to hold him and I couldn't even kiss him or hug him one final time. At the end of the summer, before leaving to study again, I kissed the top of his furry head and said "Love you and see you next summer buddy!". And now, I never will.

It's so hard to function and go about my life. I just miss him so so much.

 

[mightyboosh]

That's very sad for you and I can imagine that feeling of distance and regret at not being there to say goodbye. We lost our precious Poppy to a car so I'm familiar with that devastated feeling that you have now. I'm sincerely sorry for what has happened and I hope you find a little comfort in the words that follow mine. RIP your little buddy.

 

[bayadere]

That's very sad for you and I can imagine that feeling of distance and regret at not being there to say goodbye. We lost our precious Poppy to a car so I'm familiar with that devastated feeling that you have now. I'm sincerely sorry for what has happened and I hope you find a little comfort in the words that follow mine. RIP your little buddy.

Thank you so much. It does help knowing others know how you feel. I'm so sorry for Poppy; I'm sure she was and still is a very loved cat. <3

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Sweet Boy, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on your mama's heart forever.

This may not mean much right now, but I hope that one day it will. I've been knocking around this old ball of mud for 65 years now, and the one thing that I know for certain is that love never dies, it changes form, then goes on. Also, that love does not pay heed to time or distance. Your kitty knew you love him. He knew you wanted to be with him. And he still does. Hugs.

 

[Purr-fect]

Sorry bayadere.

It hurts. We have had many cats pass away during our lives....it has never gotten easier.

Time will make it manageable.

 

[bayadere]

Sorry bayadere.

It hurts. We have had many cats pass away during our lives....it has never gotten easier.

Time will make it manageable.

My condolences to you. How did you deal with it? You're very lucky to have loved and be loved by all your cats. Hope you're doing okay.

 

[bayadere]

Rest you gentle, Sweet Boy, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on your mama's heart forever.

This may not mean much right now, but I hope that one day it will. I've been knocking around this old ball of mud for 65 years now, and the one thing that I know for certain is that love never dies, it changes form, then goes on. Also, that love does not pay heed to time or distance. Your kitty knew you love him. He knew you wanted to be with him. And he still does. Hugs.

You have no idea how much this really touched me you. Thanks for this. Yes, I'm trying to think of his life rather than his death. And I'm just so grateful that I can honestly say he was one happy, healthy cat up to his last day - he knew he was loved and if ever he was sick or hurt he'd come to me immediately as he knew we'd do anything for him.

Once again, thank you so much. Sending my love to your cat(s).

 

[les26]

I am so sorry to hear of this, and to not be there must make you feel so helpless and frustrated at the same time, but like you said he had a good life, you loved him and he you, you took care of him and he is fine now, no pain it is you who are hurting, but with time and patience and love the heartache will slowly fade away, but it takes much time.

Even though you are far from home his spirit is right there with you and always will be, just be quiet and still and I am sure you will feel his presence, they are never really gone if we keep them in our hearts and memories....

I hope your heart heals a bit each day, Lord Bless you.....

 

[bayadere]

I am so sorry to hear of this, and to not be there must make you feel so helpless and frustrated at the same time, but like you said he had a good life, you loved him and he you, you took care of him and he is fine now, no pain it is you who are hurting, but with time and patience and love the heartache will slowly fade away, but it takes much time.

Even though you are far from home his spirit is right there with you and always will be, just be quiet and still and I am sure you will feel his presence, they are never really gone if we keep them in our hearts and memories....

I hope your heart heals a bit each day, Lord Bless you.....

I'm new to this forum and honestly the sincere, heartfelt replies I'm getting just amazes me. Thank you for this beautiful message. I will definitely be carrying him close to my heart every single day. <3

Hope your own furry ones are doing well and staying cute and healthy.

 

[Purr-fect]

My condolences to you. How did you deal with it? You're very lucky to have loved and be loved by all your cats. Hope you're doing okay.

I deal with it partly by not thinking about it. When possible, our cats were buried in a special place. Most recently in our "zen" garden under a japanese maple that we can see from our kitchen.

But what gives me the greatest comfort is to get another cat (s) and share my love and affection with them every day. That is the greatest comfort and coping mechanism for me. Without them, it would be much more difficult to manage a loss. At the same time we enrich the lives of the cats we adopt. That is also partly my way of honoring the cats we have had pass away over the years.

 

[di and bob]

My heart goes out to you, I have lost little ones to the street, I know how devastating this can be. To be so far away is upsetting, the feelings of helplessness and grief are overwhelming enough without this being thrown in. I am thankful that he had your family there to lay him to rest. His tiny soul will be comforted by the love and prayers he received.
Even though you are far away, the bond you have with that sweet boy can never be taken from you, love is spiritual, so eternal. Have you ever wondered why someone you knew and loved does not even look remotely the same when viewed at a funeral? It's because the spirit has left, the 'essence' that made them who they are has left. The love that ties us to these loved ones is still there. Use it and your precious memories to bring you comfort. His physical presence may be taken from you, but the love and devotion goes on. He is a part of you. I know he would never want you to be so sad because of him, he loves you too much for that. You would want him to go on with life and be happy if you were the first to go, he wants no less for you. I know this because that is what love is.... unselfish, knowing no boundaries such as cat or human, it is uncomplicated and comes without being sought. It is just there.
Time is the only thing that helps with the pain. It brings acceptance and understanding. It softens the sharp edges and allows us to forge a new life's order without them in our physical lives but gaining the knowledge they will always be nearby, their new journey will always parallel our own. Keep busy, do not dwell on the what might have beens, they bring nothing but heartache. Remember him as he was, he was in your life for a reason, to love you. It would have been another tragedy to have never known him at all. Do good in his name, honor him by accepting and passing on his legacy of love. Donate food and litter in his name to a local shelter, it brings comfort to a grieving soul and helps you to feel a little better about yourself. Take care, and know you are starting already to honor that little boy by giving your own comfort to others who come here to seek what they can in these sad times. You will be blessed for that.Take care, I'll pray for you both......RIP precious litlte boy. You will never be forgotten and will always hold a special place in a loving heart! Sleep tight, little Prince!

 

[bayadere]

I deal with it partly by not thinking about it. When possible, our cats were buried in a special place. Most recently in our "zen" garden under a japanese maple that we can see from our kitchen.

But what gives me the greatest comfort is to get another cat (s) and share my love and affection with them every day. That is the greatest comfort and coping mechanism for me. Without them, it would be much more difficult to manage a loss. At the same time we enrich the lives of the cats we adopt. That is also partly my way of honoring the cats we have had pass away over the years.

Gosh I bet the garden is beautiful. Your cats are so lucky to have an owner like you.

I was thinking that when the time is right, I will adopt another cat(s) too. I don't intend on buying one, instead we want to adopt some from the rescue shelters who, if they don't find a home soon, are unfortunately put to sleep. Saving another kitten or cat(s) life would be a great way to honour my cat Thanks for the advice Purr-fect.

 

[bayadere]

My heart goes out to you, I have lost little ones to the street, I know how devastating this can be. To be so far away is upsetting, the feelings of helplessness and grief are overwhelming enough without this being thrown in. I am thankful that he had your family there to lay him to rest. His tiny soul will be comforted by the love and prayers he received.
Even though you are far away, the bond you have with that sweet boy can never be taken from you, love is spiritual, so eternal. Have you ever wondered why someone you knew and loved does not even look remotely the same when viewed at a funeral? It's because the spirit has left, the 'essence' that made them who they are has left. The love that ties us to these loved ones is still there. Use it and your precious memories to bring you comfort. His physical presence may be taken from you, but the love and devotion goes on. He is a part of you. I know he would never want you to be so sad because of him, he loves you too much for that. You would want him to go on with life and be happy if you were the first to go, he wants no less for you. I know this because that is what love is.... unselfish, knowing no boundaries such as cat or human, it is uncomplicated and comes without being sought. It is just there.
Time is the only thing that helps with the pain. It brings acceptance and understanding. It softens the sharp edges and allows us to forge a new life's order without them in our physical lives but gaining the knowledge they will always be nearby, their new journey will always parallel our own. Keep busy, do not dwell on the what might have beens, they bring nothing but heartache. Remember him as he was, he was in your life for a reason, to love you. It would have been another tragedy to have never known him at all. Do good in his name, honor him by accepting and passing on his legacy of love. Donate food and litter in his name to a local shelter, it brings comfort to a grieving soul and helps you to feel a little better about yourself. Take care, and know you are starting already to honor that little boy by giving your own comfort to others who come here to seek what they can in these sad times. You will be blessed for that.Take care, I'll pray for you both......RIP precious litlte boy. You will never be forgotten and will always hold a special place in a loving heart! Sleep tight, little Prince!

I wish I could Purraise this a million times. Thank you so much for this beautiful reply. Yes I've been going through my phone and looking through all the pictures and videos I took of him and remembered all the good times we had together (which was practically every single day since he was born). He's definitely got a permanent place in my heart. When the time comes, I'm planning to adopt kitten(s) or cat(s) from the rescue shelter; I think saving other furry ones will be the perfect way to honour his memory.

Give my love to your furry friends. And as for your cats that have passed... I'm sure they're patiently waiting for you in heaven along with my boy

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I'm new to this forum and honestly the sincere, heartfelt replies I'm getting just amazes me. Thank you for this beautiful message. I will definitely be carrying him close to my heart every single day. <3

Hope your own furry ones are doing well and staying cute and healthy.

This is a big reason why we are here. We've been there, we know the pain. We support each other during the bad times, we rejoice together in the good ones. I am so glad that you found us, although the reason makes me weep.

 

[Antonio65]

B bayadere ,
I am really sorry for your loss and the fact that you weren't able to say good-bye and kiss one more time his furry head.
I, too, have lost two cats on the road due to car accidents.
The bad thing about this is that you are not ready to such a sudden loss. It isn't a sick cat, a disease, which you prepare for. Even if you were home you wouldn't have been able to kiss him alive.

In my case I lost the first cat, Kitty, while I had been out for an hour.
In the second case I lost Romeo at night, I said him goodnight and let him roam outside. He died less than an hour later.
In both cases I cried for a very long time and although it's been several years now (as you can read in my signature) I have never stopped thinking about them, and the others. And sometimes I am still crying.

All I can do is sending a big hug to you and a kiss to your furry friend!

 

[Purr-fect]

Gosh I bet the garden is beautiful. Your cats are so lucky to have an owner like you.

I was thinking that when the time is right, I will adopt another cat(s) too. I don't intend on buying one, instead we want to adopt some from the rescue shelters who, if they don't find a home soon, are unfortunately put to sleep. Saving another kitten or cat(s) life would be a great way to honour my cat Thanks for the advice Purr-fect.

Greg and arnold, in my picture were both adopted. They have greatly improved our lives and i know they are very happy with us. When you are ready, i recomend adopting another cat(s)....it really helps fill that loss and you are doing something wonderful for the cat as well.

 

[bayadere]

B bayadere ,
I am really sorry for your loss and the fact that you weren't able to say good-bye and kiss one more time his furry head.
I, too, have lost two cats on the road due to car accidents.
The bad thing about this is that you are not ready to such a sudden loss. It isn't a sick cat, a disease, which you prepare for. Even if you were home you wouldn't have been able to kiss him alive.

In my case I lost the first cat, Kitty, while I had been out for an hour.
In the second case I lost Romeo at night, I said him goodnight and let him roam outside. He died less than an hour later.
In both cases I cried for a very long time and although it's been several years now (as you can read in my signature) I have never stopped thinking about them, and the others. And sometimes I am still crying.

All I can do is sending a big hug to you and a kiss to your furry friend!

It must be heartbreaking to lose not 1 but 2 cats to car accidents. You're right, I think the fact that the loss was just so sudden is what makes it hard to take. I just know Kitty and Romeo are resting in peace and will never, ever be forgotten. I hope you remember all the great times you had with them because I'm sure that's how they'd want to be remembered

Thank you for your kind words and helping me through this. Hugs back to you and I send my love and kisses to Romeo, Kitty and all your other cat(s) <3

 

[bayadere]

Greg and arnold, in my picture were both adopted. They have greatly improved our lives and i know they are very happy with us. When you are ready, i recomend adopting another cat(s)....it really helps fill that loss and you are doing something wonderful for the cat as well.

Greg and Arnold are such handsome boys Their coat looks so shiny and healthy... can definitely tell you take care of them really well. Thanks again Purr-fect!