Fell off the wagon

[ut0pia]

I just read through this thread...
While overcoming an addiction, people learn other coping strategies besides drinking....So what is learned doesn't just go away after having one drink, and although one drink can lead into a binge drinking episode, someone who has been in recovery can find their way out of that cycle because of the coping strategies learned in the process.
Trillcat, I really hope you have learned your lesson and it won't happen again
I do agree professional help may be necessary, but it's also true that some people who are binge drinkers are addicted but aren't as dependent on alcohol as others, they binge drink on weekends and can go all week without alcohol, so I do believe it is possible to stop without professional help. Everyone's addiction is different. Some people can't stop without professional help while others can..
LIGHTNING it is ridiculous to say she will drink and drive, no human being has the ability to make such a prediction....Sorry but like others, I found your comments too harsh because I sense judgment in your posts.

 

[cococat]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

The first step to overcoming your problem/addiction is to change your way of thinking. Until you do, nothing will change.
Addiction is one day at a time for the rest of your life. There will always be that temptation/urge/craving...
You have absolutely nothing to lose by doing it and everything to gain from doing it.

This bears repeating.

 

[butzie]

Hi! My name is Rosemary and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober, this time, since 1/15/2009.

It is a disease and the only thing that finally worked for me was AA. Yeah, some of the people are holier than thou but I made lots of friends.

The 3rd Tradition is that the only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking. You don't have to stop until you are ready or the other things.

The falling off the wagon phrase comes from England. When you were on you way to be hanged, on a wagon, they would let you off the wagon to go to the pub for your last drink.

PM me anytime. This actually took a great deal of soul searching about whether I wanted to not be anonymous to the rest of the Cat Site, but some things are that important.

 

[ldg]

Originally Posted by LIGHTNING

Sorry you think I was too harsh. She came here looking for sympathy and for people to tell it was ok, just one slip. And you gave it to her.

Now she has your permission and pity. Go back and read some of the posts.

The whole bottle of vodka was drank All whole bottle of vodka drunk down in one day, IS NOT A SLIP. If she is drinking that much, then she needs to maintain that that much alcohol consumption often.

She admits she turned her free will over to alcohol but will not give up her free will for help.

She is only trying to fool you and to fool herself.

She needs to get some kind of help before she drunkenly gets behind the wheel of a car and goes out driving. And please don't say to won't happen. Because eventually it will; and/or has already happened.

I am concerned about her and I hope she gets some kind of help before it's too late.

Lightning, my reactions that your posts are too harsh are based on the following:

1) The biggest problem I've got is that you are reacting to the responses to Trillcat's posts, not her posts themselves.

As Nial (Kai Bengals) points out, we're a group of people drawn together because of our love of cats - we do tend to be a very nurturing group of people. Many of us have learned over the years that support and encouragement are far more effective than condemnation. Maybe this isn't the "right" way to deal with someone we care very much about that is an alcoholic - but this isn't a forum for alcoholics.

2) Perhaps you hope to educate us about how to effectively manage "support" of an alcoholic. I can see that being helpful here. I don't speak for others, but I, for one, am far more open to ideas when they are not presented from a position of judgment or in such a black & white manner.

3) You stand in judgment and your original post suggests an extremely black and white world: AA or be committed. Perhaps expressing sympathy is not "correct" - but I'm sorry, there are MANY other treatment choices, options and paths.

4) You boldly declare Laura is seeking "justification" when she (IMO) has communicated no such thing. I did re-read this thread. Then, after she responded to you and specifically says she's not looking to be coddled - you go on to say she's seeking sympathy. What the... ???? In fact, Laura has kept us posted on her journey - this was another update. Not a good one - but information.

5) You make extremely bold statements with no reason that I can see to make them. "She is only trying to fool you and to fool herself." Fool us and herself about what? That she's trying to find her way out of alcohol without AA?

...Perhaps the lesson someone else fighting alcoholism will take away from this discussion and Laura's experience is that the only choices are AA or to be committed.

...that said,

6) Having adopted a daughter that was addicted to heroin (because I don't drink and don't do drugs and otherwise would have no reason to have experienced a 12-step program), I can totally understand why anyone would have a problem with AA. We went to one meeting with her and agreed - no reason to go back. As Laura points out, with AA, one simply switches gods. Yes, the God of AA doesn't endanger any lives - but the world is diverse, we are all individuals, and what works for many doesn't mean it works for all.

7) Being "committed" provided our daughter no long term respite. She quit when she had a support network in place and could see reasons to no longer give up her life to King Heroin. Yes, it involved professional help - but it was not within the framework of the black and white world you portray.

You judge, you condemn, you express your opinions by boldly/strongly scolding people not expressing your opinion for being wrong, and you provide two "right" choices.

...and as from the get-go I disagree with your judgment that Laura came here seeking sympathy, I find your posts to be insulting, and in the context of what Laura has posted, I don't see how they're helpful either.

 

[nekomania]

I think that if you want to have any success conqureing this problem on your own that you first need to better your living environment.

You first have to battle all of the things that are making you depressed before you can truly forever give up this drinking habit.

I can tell from some of the posts that I have seen you make that you really want to be well again, but I can also see from other posts that regarding your current situation, it isn't going to get any better until you make it better.



Hey! Maybe you could find a like-minded roommate and share a home and lots of kitties to love!!

A place free of pests and bad memoreis.

 

[nurseangel]

Take care of yourself. Watch for signs and symptoms of withdrawal -increased pulse, blood pressure, fever, hallucinations, which can occur even after one night of drinking. (And sometimes even in someone who has just drank alcohol for the first time.) I know you already realize how dangerous alcohol withdrawal is, and how important it is to get medical help immediately if you become symptomatic.

With that being said, I wish you the best. I am a nondrinker, but as I've mentioned in other posts, detox is the area in which I have the most nursing experience. So I know it is incredibly hard.

 

[oodlesofpoodles]

I want to start by saying that i applaud all of you who have not only offered Trillcat support, but also understanding in her struggles...Especially to those of you that have posted in her defence to Lightening.

I have never struggled with an addiction...but that doesnt mean i know nothing about the struggle. I am probably the only person in my family with OUT an addiction (past or present). I attended NA meetings with my parents when i was younger as a show of support. I can see how AA and NA may work for many...but i also very clearly see why it might not work for others.

An addiction is like falling into a trap of your own making, but it is a trap all the same. Ones free will may be given up to that addiction and while the person may have willingly gone down that path by making certain choices, that is not the same as willingly giving your free will to the addiction. Instead what happens is one bad choice leads to another, and another until one day you are no longer making choices, but letting your addiction dictate your actions.

The reason I bring this up is because in AA and NA you are asked to willingly give up your free will to a higher power. For those who believe in a higher power this gives them strength and comfort...for those who dont it is an uncomfortable feeling. With someone who believes in a higher power they feel they gain control from that higher power. For someone who does not, they feel they are still lacking control of their own lives and simply taking the wheel from one controller and giving it to another.

How is someone ever to learn how to cope with stress and make better choices when still feel that loss of control? Instead what they need is the same comfort and strength that others may find in a higher power from inside themselves. AA and NA are not going to be helpful here.