EWWWWWW or "No big deal?"

[catmom2wires]

Hi,

I was doing my every week to ten day monitoring of my daughter's Facebook account (she knows I do it.) I clicked on her best friend's page to check up on her as she recently moved out of state and I've known her since she was 6 mos old.

Anyway, I noticed on the friend's page, that a FATHER of one of the girl's dance classmates had befriended her! Not only that, he has been busily playing Farmsville with her, and sending her all sorts of things. He calls it "being neighborly."

I must admit, I'm totally taken aback! This is a 12 year old girl being "befriended" by a man in his late 40's! It doesn't seem right to me--at ALL. My daughter doesn't even want her own DAD as a friend!

What do you think about it? Of course now I'm going to monitor it closely...

Thanks,

Cally

 

[kailie]

Everyone is adding everyone to Facebook these days. I personally don't think it's a big deal, but I don't have children.

 

[ut0pia]

Originally Posted by Kailie

Everyone is adding everyone to Facebook these days. I personally don't think it's a big deal, but I don't have children.

I agree...
besides the (IMO) idiotic farmsville game is addicting and you just want more people to play just for the sake of getting further in the game...
And maybe, just like you ,he wants to monitor his own daughter's friends and see what they are up to...

 

[katiemae1277]

well, my mom is friends with my ex step-daughter, mom is 57 and XSD is 15, but that's not really the same thing... but Kailie has a point, everyone is friending everyone. It wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on it tho, we all know what kind of sickos are out there, be they fathers or not

 

[capt_jordi]

I really wouldnt think it is a big deal. The thing with Farmville is the more friends you have playing the more you can do with it. I dont play it but I have a lot of family that does.
My aunt is friends with all of her 15 year old daughters friends as a way to keep up with everyone including her daughter!

 

[cococat]

I would think the adult has a bit too much time on their hands, but I wouldn't think anything sinister. I would continue to monitor just because that is smart.

 

[keycube]

Hmmm...what's his name? Maybe we'll see him on TV!

 

[catmom2wires]

HA, Keycube--we seem to be the only ones who find this odd. I'll add a bit more info, see if anyone changes opinions in any way.

This guy is a multi-married guy, and his most recent wife (an acquaintance of mine) was one he had an affair with, thus breaking up her marriage. The police have been to the house on at least 2 occasions for domestic issues.

The guy has a landscaping company (met his current wife when he came to fix her sprinklers), and coaches karate. He is currently our "yard guy" although he sends an assistant to actually do the work. That's why it struck me so oddly. Why the heck would he be Facebooking with this shy, softspoken little blonde girl????

Oh well, I'll keep my eyes on it. I just have a weird feeling about it, and am aware that adults do Facebook with kids, but something about this is different and way out in left field.

Thanks for the opinions everyone.

Cally

 

[-_aj_-]

I think its a little odd tbh i read this topic and me and a couple of friends talked about it, one has an 11 year old with a FB account and checks her daughters account but its litterally just friends

Is it your daughter or your daughters friend that has him on? if its your daughter i personally would speak to her in a round about way like you had noticed he was her friend but its its your daughters friend that is a friend then the only thing you can do is speak to the mother she may not know...it could be harmless

 

[ldg]

I don't FB, but I know from others Farmville is addictive. That said....

I think it's weird.

 

[jazzythecat]

I am a fellow Facebooker and I do think this is wrong, I agree with -_aj_- really the only thing you can do is talk to her mother. Perhaps you can talk to your daughter's friend on Facebook, ask her why she is friends with him and such. There really is not much you can do though. I would talk to the mother, as -_aj_- said, she might have no idea.

Good luck,
Jackz, Jazzy & Ginga.

 

[sherry526]

I used to be on FB, and depending on the settings, can't you tap into his friend list and see who is on it? If it were a bunch of little girls, I would be alarmed.

Having said that, my oldest and best friend told me to friend her 15 year old daughter--but there again, I'm female not male. And, I'm like "aunt" to this girl. BTW, she didn't friend me, and probably because she doesn't want an old lady amongst all her school friends on her FB list. I do hope my best friend monitors her activity like you do.

It could be totally innocent, because it's true about Farmville being very addictive and the more friends from your list that play it, the further in the game you go.

I do not have kids, but I think I would be weirded out if a man friended my young daughter on FB. You are very smart to monitor! I hope many parents are as diligent as you.

 

[trouts mom]

I think it doesn't seem right.

What kind of 40 year old dad plays farmville with children?

 

[northernglow]

Could it be that the girl has asked the 40y old to be her friend?

I have noticed some serious 'crazy' things on facebook from kids that use it, for example my two younger half-sisters.. They are 11 and 12 years old, I have met them many times (maybe twice per year) but propably never really spoken to them. We have same father, but their mother is the reason why dad left my mom. Both of these girls appeared on the facebook recently (I'm quite sure their parents don't know) and asked me and my older (full-)sister to be their friends. My older sister has been much more in touch with them, goes to their birthdays etc so that's normal, but me?
I accepted the requests out of politeness. And it gets worse: the younger one actually asked my mom to be her friend! If she was any older that could be taken as very rude, provoking, attacking behavior. But now I just count it as very very stupid. They have never been in any contact with my mom (who hasn't accepted the request...yet), I don't think I need to explain why.... What the heck was she thinking?! Her mom would strangle her if she knew! She also keeps tagging me, my sister and cousins who she has never met, to random pictures where you're supposed to tag friends "who has the prettiest eyes, the one who is always happy, the cute one" etc. She even tagged me to say she loves me (which sure is odd 'coz she doesn't know me).. They seem to have a competition about the amount of friends.

Oops, apparently I wrote a novel..sorry.

 

[catmom2wires]

Well, the good news is that we're in Texas and the little girl is in Oregon! The bad news--the girl's mom died 3 years ago and her dad just remarried and moved her to Oregon. It was devastating to the girl.

I think I will have my daughter ask her what's up with the old guy. LOL My daughter has a couple of adults (one is her youth leader from church and the other a long time music teacher) and I had to convince her that that was OK. I don't Facebook at all--just monitor her stuff.

Thanks again,

C

 

[sneakymom]

I'm "friends" with a bunch of the girls' friends on facebook. Also some of the teen guys who are friends with the girls (and go to church with us) on there too.

I don't have the time to play farmville etc. What I do do is monitor what's going on with the kids. Because sometimes they don't use their brains. One of my friends from church had to remove a whole bunch of her son's friends (he's 15) because they were doing questionable stuff.


And even some of the surveys they can do. My oldest posted something that was questionable. I didn't catch it- but my sister-in-law did- and she posted something to the effect of "You need to watch what you're doing on facebook because I can see it, your mom and dad can see it etc....."

You can bet I read what she'd posted and then we had a "discussion".

And it was the ONLY time we've ever had a problem.

I like having adults around as extra eyes and ears.

I can't monitor all of the friends they have. But you can bet I check their profiles often.

Cheryl

 

[cococat]

Originally Posted by CatMom2Wires

I'll keep my eyes on it. I just have a weird feeling about it,

Never ignore your gut feelings.

 

[addiebee]

Originally Posted by cococat

Never ignore your gut feelings.

No need to jump to conclusions... but what you described sounds a little "off" to me. And I don't play the games on FB - I find many OTHER ways to waste time instead....

So if I were you, I would just keep an eye on it.

 

[3catsn1dog]

Personally I wouldnt mind if there was no FB too much drama and weirdness involved in them. I actually deleted my FB account after my soon to be 50 yr old mother got into a fight with my cousin (a yr younger than me) and her baby sister and after my ex whom I wouldnt spit on if he was on fire on the side of the road begging for help (heartless I know but theres valid reasoning behind it), tried to add me. That was the end of that stuff, I have been in my own personal hiding from people and even after being sneaky and setting stuff up in a random mix of mine and BFs names people I didnt want to still found me.

Anyways in this case it does seem odd and I would probably say something, even if its innocent just playing that goofy Farmville junk wouldnt you think a 40 something yr old man would be able to find more people his own age rather than a really young girl.....Its just odd to me but Im a suspicious non trusting person so I doubt anything and everything till I have solid proof its on the up and up. Id say something to the girls parents AND keep monitering your daughters account maybe a tad more closely.

 

[swampwitch]

I believe you ought to trust your instincts on this.