I had made a comment of not liking my roommate's cat in my introduction, and didn't list him as part of the family. But I'll list him here.
Tyler
My question will soon be irrelevant because my roommate will be moving out in the next month or so but this has been weighing on me for nearly a year. My roommate does not take care of his cat. I've known him for a few years and it seems to me that he likes the idea of having an animal around but never really forms a bond with them. I've seen more than a few animals come and go from his care (before we became roommates)- for whatever reason he finds he's unable to care for an animal, rehomes it but then ends up with a new pet not too long after. I'm sure everyone knows someone like this. He received Tyler as part of a pair, another cat that was Tyler's sister, but didn't keep the second cat long. He's had Tyler for around two years now.
Tyler has had a lot of health and behavioral issues since he has lived in my house. The most obvious being that he is extremely overweight. From what I can tell, he prefers to relieve himself anywhere BUT the litter box (usually right in front of it, but he's even gone on my bed, on couch pillows, in laundry baskets, etc).
Now, I'm not necessarily looking for advice on any particular issue because I've handled a wide range of behavioral problems with my own cats successfully. But I feel very limited in my ability to help Tyler. Because he's not my cat and when I try and go to my roommate to discuss an issue he dismisses it. If I bring up the pooping everywhere, he says "How do you know it's not one of your cats?" I know because I pay close attention to each of my cats health and behavior. I would KNOW if they were having a problem. I know their histories and personality quirks inside and out. I know them as well as I do my own (human) child.
I had at one point got the feeling that when he moves out, he might abandon Tyler all together. Or try and get rid of him before he moves. And I feel immensely responsible for any cat in my care (and sometimes ones that are not) so I made a comment to my boyfriend to the tune of "Well I guess he would be my cat then". And he pointed out that I don't HAVE to take him in as mine because I'm not responsible for EVERY cat on the planet. That thought had not occurred to me.
I want to give you a specific example. At one point, ALL of the cats came down with something. Starting with one sneezing cat, slowly every cat in my house was sneezing. Their symptoms varied in severity, some didn't seem sick at all aside from the sneezing. But one of my cats and Tyler were both VERY sick. I explained what was happening, to my roommate, and how serious this was and he told me it was "probably allergies". Sigh. My cat who was very sick (runny eyes, shortness of breath, fever, lethargy) to the vet immediately and encouraged my roommate to do the same with his. The vet gave her antibiotics and fluids but not a firm diagnosis because I refused further testing (because they wanted to charge me close to $600 and I don't know anyone on the planet who can afford that) and she recovered in almost no time. Tyler, on the other hand, continued to suffer. I tried to make him as comfortable as possible, monitored his temperature but my roommate seemed completely uncaring or unaware that there was anything wrong with him at all.
So my actual question is-- at what point is it MY fault for failing to intervene? At what point would it be okay for me to step in and do what I would do for my own cats, which would mean pouring time, money and probably my own tears of frustration trying to care for an animal that shouldn't be my responsibility. If I had a roommate that had children they were not caring for, I might even call CPS.
I could go on and on. I feel the need to over explain and clarify that I love cats. All of them. And I want Tyler to do well but my funds are already stretched thin. And like I said, Tyler and roommate will be leaving soon. But I feel so guilty for not being able to help as much as I want to and angry with my roommate for not caring for his cat like I care for mine.
Thoughts?
Tyler
My question will soon be irrelevant because my roommate will be moving out in the next month or so but this has been weighing on me for nearly a year. My roommate does not take care of his cat. I've known him for a few years and it seems to me that he likes the idea of having an animal around but never really forms a bond with them. I've seen more than a few animals come and go from his care (before we became roommates)- for whatever reason he finds he's unable to care for an animal, rehomes it but then ends up with a new pet not too long after. I'm sure everyone knows someone like this. He received Tyler as part of a pair, another cat that was Tyler's sister, but didn't keep the second cat long. He's had Tyler for around two years now.
Tyler has had a lot of health and behavioral issues since he has lived in my house. The most obvious being that he is extremely overweight. From what I can tell, he prefers to relieve himself anywhere BUT the litter box (usually right in front of it, but he's even gone on my bed, on couch pillows, in laundry baskets, etc).
Now, I'm not necessarily looking for advice on any particular issue because I've handled a wide range of behavioral problems with my own cats successfully. But I feel very limited in my ability to help Tyler. Because he's not my cat and when I try and go to my roommate to discuss an issue he dismisses it. If I bring up the pooping everywhere, he says "How do you know it's not one of your cats?" I know because I pay close attention to each of my cats health and behavior. I would KNOW if they were having a problem. I know their histories and personality quirks inside and out. I know them as well as I do my own (human) child.
I had at one point got the feeling that when he moves out, he might abandon Tyler all together. Or try and get rid of him before he moves. And I feel immensely responsible for any cat in my care (and sometimes ones that are not) so I made a comment to my boyfriend to the tune of "Well I guess he would be my cat then". And he pointed out that I don't HAVE to take him in as mine because I'm not responsible for EVERY cat on the planet. That thought had not occurred to me.
I want to give you a specific example. At one point, ALL of the cats came down with something. Starting with one sneezing cat, slowly every cat in my house was sneezing. Their symptoms varied in severity, some didn't seem sick at all aside from the sneezing. But one of my cats and Tyler were both VERY sick. I explained what was happening, to my roommate, and how serious this was and he told me it was "probably allergies". Sigh. My cat who was very sick (runny eyes, shortness of breath, fever, lethargy) to the vet immediately and encouraged my roommate to do the same with his. The vet gave her antibiotics and fluids but not a firm diagnosis because I refused further testing (because they wanted to charge me close to $600 and I don't know anyone on the planet who can afford that) and she recovered in almost no time. Tyler, on the other hand, continued to suffer. I tried to make him as comfortable as possible, monitored his temperature but my roommate seemed completely uncaring or unaware that there was anything wrong with him at all.
So my actual question is-- at what point is it MY fault for failing to intervene? At what point would it be okay for me to step in and do what I would do for my own cats, which would mean pouring time, money and probably my own tears of frustration trying to care for an animal that shouldn't be my responsibility. If I had a roommate that had children they were not caring for, I might even call CPS.
I could go on and on. I feel the need to over explain and clarify that I love cats. All of them. And I want Tyler to do well but my funds are already stretched thin. And like I said, Tyler and roommate will be leaving soon. But I feel so guilty for not being able to help as much as I want to and angry with my roommate for not caring for his cat like I care for mine.
Thoughts?