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- Nov 23, 2017
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Hi everyone, you can call me Otter. I'm an experienced cat owner that's lived with cats my whole life, and I'm stumped by the problem I'm having right now.
For the past 10 years, we've had a female cat named Bliss. She's a small domestic shorthair mackeral tabby rescue with no breeding to speak of and had no history at the shelter we got her from-- probably a stray. She's a bit nervous, but is a very sweet cat-- she's never attacked anyone and she also lived with our previous cat Eli for about 6 or 7 years until he died of old age at 19. They never fought and respected each other's space.
Recently (about four or five weeks ago) we adopted a new cat, Boo Bear. He is a large, black longhaired cat. He is 3 years old. He was returned to the shelter he originally grew up in as a kitten from the people who first adopted him because they had a new child who ended up being severely allergic. His report was glowing-- all the volunteers loved him, and his previous family had nothing but praise for him. They had he was so gentle that their toddler would often do toddler things like pulling his tail or giving him full-body hugs and he never minded or got aggressive with them. He roamed the shelter freely with many other cats and didn't ever get into a fight.
He was wonderful with us too. At the shelter, he was extremely loving and cuddly. For the first week or so that we had him, he was perfect. Despite being kept in a room away from Bliss all day, he was very sweet.
The first sign of trouble was due to an error on our part. While my mother was trying to get in her room, where we were keeping Boo Bear (at this point the cats had only seen each other through a tiny crack in the door a few times), Bliss snuck around her ankles and the two cats clashed. They chased each other around the house while making horrible screaming noises. We managed to separate them, and while no blood was drawn, it was obvious that they were both shaken up by the encounter.
After that, we started to be more dutiful about keeping the two apart and supervised. We would "shuffle" the cats a few times every day by locking Bliss in my room and letting Boo Bear explore and visa versa. We were hoping this would get them used to each other's scents. Things were going okay until Boo Bear randomly 'attacked' my mother. I did not see it, but she claimed that he grabbed her arm while she was sitting at her desk and tried to bite her. Again, no blood spilled (didn't even leave a mark), but it was a strange anomaly.
As time passed, my father built a screen door to go in their bedroom door so the cats could be introduced better. With Boo Bear in their bedroom and Bliss outside, Bliss simply gave a few hisses and then left to my room to hide. She would never get close enough for them to really smell each other. Then we tried putting the door in my doorway with Bliss in my room, and things were going okay until Boo Bear charged the screen door. He damaged it a little but did not break it entirely. We haven't used it again since, probably a week and a half ago.
Boo Bear had been on good behavior again for awhile, but just today, my mom picked him up from a place she didn't want him to be (a ledge near the stairs that could be dangerous if he fell) and he turned on her. He was "stalking" her, and she called for my help. I came up to her office and he then turned on me. He stalked up to me slowly, and then, very slowly, leaned in to try and bite my arm (I was sitting on the floor). It was so slow and so gentle that he didn't hurt me at all, but I could see the intention in his eyes and posture. It was very strange.
So right now, we're having serious trouble introducing two cats, and also dealing with a potentially dangerous cat. Any advice?
Other items of note:
. My mother is very nervous around Boo Bear since the first time he "attacked" her, because she has been mauled by a cat in the past and she doesn't like how she can't read him and isn't sure what he's going to do. I don't think this helps things.
. When Boo Bear has his time out of his room, he tends to stalk around a lot and doesn't settle down. This also unnerves my mother.
. Sometimes, Boo Bear fixates on my closed door when he's out, probably because he knows Bliss is on the other side. He doesn't hiss or bang the door, he just sits and looks very intent.
. Bliss is fairly chill about all this. She doesn't instigate attacks. When she is out roaming the house normally, she acts as she always has (sleeps a lot, eats, plays, doesn't seem uncomfortable at all.)
. Things that Boo Bear likes: Food/treats, toys, my dad. All of these things will immediately distract him from anything he's doing. He really loves my dad for some reason.
. Boo Bear has his own litterbox in his room, but when he is out he will use Bliss' and Bliss will still use it after he has.
. We've gotten a calming pheromone collar for Bliss which she is now wearing. We also have a pheromone diffuser in Boo Bear's room.
My thoughts:
Honestly, I think Boo Bear is bored out of his mind. He's locked in his room for most of the day with no self-propelled toys or good distractions. I think he got mad at my mom picking him up off the ledge because it was entertaining to him and he was getting frustrated. He's a young cat and he needs more attention. I want to get more proactive with introducing the cats so they can be in the same rooms together and then Boor Bear can have more stimulation all day, but at this point it's a two-person job and my parents are dragging their heels about it. I think we need to do eat-play-love like Jackson Galaxy does but I don't know how to convince my parents to help me do it, especially when my mom is getting scared of Boo Bear.
Thanks for reading and for any advice you can give!
For the past 10 years, we've had a female cat named Bliss. She's a small domestic shorthair mackeral tabby rescue with no breeding to speak of and had no history at the shelter we got her from-- probably a stray. She's a bit nervous, but is a very sweet cat-- she's never attacked anyone and she also lived with our previous cat Eli for about 6 or 7 years until he died of old age at 19. They never fought and respected each other's space.
Recently (about four or five weeks ago) we adopted a new cat, Boo Bear. He is a large, black longhaired cat. He is 3 years old. He was returned to the shelter he originally grew up in as a kitten from the people who first adopted him because they had a new child who ended up being severely allergic. His report was glowing-- all the volunteers loved him, and his previous family had nothing but praise for him. They had he was so gentle that their toddler would often do toddler things like pulling his tail or giving him full-body hugs and he never minded or got aggressive with them. He roamed the shelter freely with many other cats and didn't ever get into a fight.
He was wonderful with us too. At the shelter, he was extremely loving and cuddly. For the first week or so that we had him, he was perfect. Despite being kept in a room away from Bliss all day, he was very sweet.
The first sign of trouble was due to an error on our part. While my mother was trying to get in her room, where we were keeping Boo Bear (at this point the cats had only seen each other through a tiny crack in the door a few times), Bliss snuck around her ankles and the two cats clashed. They chased each other around the house while making horrible screaming noises. We managed to separate them, and while no blood was drawn, it was obvious that they were both shaken up by the encounter.
After that, we started to be more dutiful about keeping the two apart and supervised. We would "shuffle" the cats a few times every day by locking Bliss in my room and letting Boo Bear explore and visa versa. We were hoping this would get them used to each other's scents. Things were going okay until Boo Bear randomly 'attacked' my mother. I did not see it, but she claimed that he grabbed her arm while she was sitting at her desk and tried to bite her. Again, no blood spilled (didn't even leave a mark), but it was a strange anomaly.
As time passed, my father built a screen door to go in their bedroom door so the cats could be introduced better. With Boo Bear in their bedroom and Bliss outside, Bliss simply gave a few hisses and then left to my room to hide. She would never get close enough for them to really smell each other. Then we tried putting the door in my doorway with Bliss in my room, and things were going okay until Boo Bear charged the screen door. He damaged it a little but did not break it entirely. We haven't used it again since, probably a week and a half ago.
Boo Bear had been on good behavior again for awhile, but just today, my mom picked him up from a place she didn't want him to be (a ledge near the stairs that could be dangerous if he fell) and he turned on her. He was "stalking" her, and she called for my help. I came up to her office and he then turned on me. He stalked up to me slowly, and then, very slowly, leaned in to try and bite my arm (I was sitting on the floor). It was so slow and so gentle that he didn't hurt me at all, but I could see the intention in his eyes and posture. It was very strange.
So right now, we're having serious trouble introducing two cats, and also dealing with a potentially dangerous cat. Any advice?
Other items of note:
. My mother is very nervous around Boo Bear since the first time he "attacked" her, because she has been mauled by a cat in the past and she doesn't like how she can't read him and isn't sure what he's going to do. I don't think this helps things.
. When Boo Bear has his time out of his room, he tends to stalk around a lot and doesn't settle down. This also unnerves my mother.
. Sometimes, Boo Bear fixates on my closed door when he's out, probably because he knows Bliss is on the other side. He doesn't hiss or bang the door, he just sits and looks very intent.
. Bliss is fairly chill about all this. She doesn't instigate attacks. When she is out roaming the house normally, she acts as she always has (sleeps a lot, eats, plays, doesn't seem uncomfortable at all.)
. Things that Boo Bear likes: Food/treats, toys, my dad. All of these things will immediately distract him from anything he's doing. He really loves my dad for some reason.
. Boo Bear has his own litterbox in his room, but when he is out he will use Bliss' and Bliss will still use it after he has.
. We've gotten a calming pheromone collar for Bliss which she is now wearing. We also have a pheromone diffuser in Boo Bear's room.
My thoughts:
Honestly, I think Boo Bear is bored out of his mind. He's locked in his room for most of the day with no self-propelled toys or good distractions. I think he got mad at my mom picking him up off the ledge because it was entertaining to him and he was getting frustrated. He's a young cat and he needs more attention. I want to get more proactive with introducing the cats so they can be in the same rooms together and then Boor Bear can have more stimulation all day, but at this point it's a two-person job and my parents are dragging their heels about it. I think we need to do eat-play-love like Jackson Galaxy does but I don't know how to convince my parents to help me do it, especially when my mom is getting scared of Boo Bear.
Thanks for reading and for any advice you can give!
