Don't know what to do please help

[gingertom13]

Hello everyone,

I adopted an older cat from a rescue centre a month ago. I think he is about 8 years old and we were told he had been living outdoors as a stray, the people at the rescue place said he was a friendly cat and should be OK in our household, which can be quite noisy and chaotic as we have young children.

Well we kept puss indoors for the first few weeks as directed, and he was a bit shy but generally OK, purring at us and letting us stoke him and even sleeping on my bed. He didn't seem to want to explore the house very much and spent most of the time in the upstairs bedroom, I thought he just needed time to settle in at that stage.

However a few weeks later we introduced puss to his catflap and let him go out, and the problem is that he doesn't want to come back in. He has set up "camp" in some bushes in the garden and just stays there all day. When I call him he always comes in straight away and has something to eat and purrs and lets me stroke him and seems quite happy, however as soon as he sees or hears anyone else (my husband or two daughters) he just shoots straight back out again and stays there. I know that he creeps back in again at night after we have gone to bed as I have found him in the kitchen/diner a few times. Otherwise he is just out there in the bushes in all weather. He never attempts to go into any of the other rooms of the house and won't go upstairs anymore (even though this was his original hideout)

Instead of getting used to us and getting less timid, he seem to be going the opposite way and I just don't know what to do, I don't know if he feels happier being out doors as it's what he knows, but am worried about him sitting out there in all weathers. I just don't understand what he doesn't want to come back in anymore when he spent the first few weeks indoors and seemed fine with us.

Does anyone have any ideas of what I can do to make him want to come into the house and be part of our family? Is it worth getting some of the cat calming plug ins perhaps? I am starting to despair that he is never going to want to come in. Any advice much appreciated. Thank you.

 

[StefanZ]

 Is it worth getting some of the cat calming plug ins perhaps?

Yes, it is surely worth the try to use a Feliway diffuser in his room. And Feliway spray for a more mobile use.  Also a relaxing, soft music may be helpful.

The key is, he apparently doesnt feel really well. He does manage if he must, being a nice wellbehaving boy. But it is not really comfortable for him.

The trick is like you did: Let him have his safety room upstairs as his base, where there are no disturbances, where he feels safer...

I myself think you should proceed so, Slowly accustoming him to the rest of your house. and keep him as your inside kitty

When you let him out, it happened what happened.  He being an ex homeless, he does manage to be outside. This is no catastrophe to him...

So, of course, you CAN let it be so, him being your outside kitty, with the right to now and then come inside if he wish.

But it would be nice to have him as inside kitty.

Prepare this Feliway, his safe rooms where he is not disturbed, etc...

I think you can simply  close the door and flap behind him.

He isnt so fond in the other family members? not even hour DH?

Let him come with food, so the cat sees it.  Let him  clean the litter...  After a while he will be more accetping to husband too.

Do talk a lot with soft, friendly voice to the cat too...

Good luck!

 

[gingertom13]

Hi there. Thank you for your reply

Puss (Victor) has now started spending less time in his bushes and just sitting on back doorstep staring in at me through the cat flap. When I open the door to invite him in he just continues to sit there and doesn't move. I'm not sure whether this is a good sign or not.

He does seem to know when my kids bedtime is, as last night and the night before I opened the door at 9pm once the house was quiet and there he was sitting on the doorstep and he came into the kitchen, had something to eat and let me stroke him and tickle his tummy. However the minute my husband came into the kitchen he shot back through that catflap at the speed of light. Some of his teeth are cracked and we don't know if he was possible badly treated in the past.

I will try him with the Feliway and see if it makes a difference.

 

[StefanZ]

The situations reminds me if another common scenario.

there is this resident, mainly inside, but can go out if he wish.

In comes new kitty, which he is not hostile with, but dont likes the newbe either.

What happens very often?  He tends to go out more and more, after a while he lives almost entirely outside...

If he was a pure inside kitty, he would be forced to stay inside, and willy nilly go through the process of accepting each other, of learning to be friends.

But he has an easy alternative, and thus chooses the easiest alternative...

Good luck!

 

[mrblanche]

I would discourage letting him outdoors, for all the typical reasons (cars, predators, parasites, cruel people) and the additional reason that that is where the shelter got him from, and they brought him in, thinking he would have a softer, warmer, better-fed, safer life.