My husband to this day has no clue how much work is involved in taking care of our Victorian house.
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Does the wife have the obligation of cooking for her husband?
- Thread starter arie85
- Start Date
There are times when I don't think men "get it". Period. I come home from work and Rick is sitting at the kitchen table, going through the mail, messing around on his iPad, checking out the paper, etc. Just sitting there. And, of course, I come home, run back to the bedroom to change into my sweats, and come back out to the kitchen and start in on dinner right away. We've had words about it and his story is usually that he has no idea what I'm making for dinner, so he has no idea what to do to start prepping. Which, more often than not, is true. If I text him during the day to get something out of the freezer when he gets home, there's a 60/40 chance that he'll actually get it done til I get home.
And in his defense, he comes home, walks The Beast and makes sure the furkids have all had supper before I ever get home, so it's not like he's not done anything. If I'm doing laundry, he will come out to the kitchen and help me fold it and put it away.....he didn't used to help until one night I asked him if he needed a written invitation or would a simple "Please" suffice.
I scoop the boxes at night during the week; he scoops on weekend mornings. He empties the dishwasher during the week; I do it on weekends before I go downstairs to the treadmill. He makes his own lunch during the week; I don't have the time, nor do I have the inclination to deal with lunch-packing every morning; half the time, I'm lucky to get my own food packed.
But still.....even though we both still work full time, 90% of the weekly housework still falls on me to get it done. And I find it frustrating sometimes.
When I moved from NYC to CT for marriage I worked downtown full-time for 18 years in a job that could be stressful. I don't drive so I walked to work & back. When I 1st started there we worked from 9 to 6, later changed to 9 to 5.30. When I got home I made dinner. Weekends were always for cleaning, picking up dry cleaning, laundry, etc. For 30 years I took complete care of our house, including window-cleaning twice a year. My husband has never cleaned a single thing in the house. And I hate to say it, but all of this was thankless. In fact as the years went by he became hostile when I cleaned because he felt it disturbed him.
All of that has ended now. (Pam knows my story so won't bore anyone with it again). Now I do what needs to be done - again single-handedly - but I don't drive myself nuts about it any longer. Probably with the windows I won't clean them more than once a year & then only the most noticeable ones such as the kitchen.
All of that has ended now. (Pam knows my story so won't bore anyone with it again). Now I do what needs to be done - again single-handedly - but I don't drive myself nuts about it any longer. Probably with the windows I won't clean them more than once a year & then only the most noticeable ones such as the kitchen.
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