Sorry long post/rant
Sometimes I really hate this massive amount of empathy & compassion I seem to have. While it comes in handy most of the time, sometimes it just makes my life miserable. Sometimes I just wish it would go away. Without compassion, I couldn't look on a neglected child or animal and be sad.
So I have this very good friend of mine, who several things are going through my mind.
The borderline personality disorder seems to be rearing it's ugly head, again- and even though it has been gone for months, I can't help but think this this friend is upset because of something I did, or said (even though they said no). The scenario: My hubby is very very out of it most of the time, distant & passive aggressive. This friend who visits us quite often - has literally been a light to our darkness - (both hubby and I being homebound). Anyway - we had a conversation on the phone, and he was telling me because of hubby, he was thinking of not coming over again.
So suddenly the game night we had planned - he can't make it.
The housewarming which was a definate is now a maybe
The website I am building for his law firm - now he doesn't want to get together to discuss it
And hubby's surprise b-day party which was a 100% plan, is now "if i have time".
All signs seem to point to him avoiding coming over again.
It seems he is avoiding us because of hubby, and im the one who is getting hurt from it... soooooo that brings us to today.
He tells me it has nothing to do with me, and says it is about a "false delimma" whatever that means.. . (someone enlighten me?)
We liberally apply (in fact he is co-director with me of this ministry) what we call "The Four Principles" located here: http://freedomfromdivision.com/?page_id=78
I know he would tell me if there was a problem with me. But I know it's not with me, however it might be with hubby- and now I am upset with hubby.
So he tells me he is just having a rough couple of days and to just pray for him. Here is where the empathy comes. I hate it because it means I hurt for him, and literally cry out of concern for a friend, I know he is having a really bad time and feel like something horrible is going on (worst case scenario) so how come I have to have empathy? Why can't I be a jerk sometimes lol....
Anyway, I would love thoughts & ideas here... Thanks
Sometimes I really hate this massive amount of empathy & compassion I seem to have. While it comes in handy most of the time, sometimes it just makes my life miserable. Sometimes I just wish it would go away. Without compassion, I couldn't look on a neglected child or animal and be sad.
So I have this very good friend of mine, who several things are going through my mind.
The borderline personality disorder seems to be rearing it's ugly head, again- and even though it has been gone for months, I can't help but think this this friend is upset because of something I did, or said (even though they said no). The scenario: My hubby is very very out of it most of the time, distant & passive aggressive. This friend who visits us quite often - has literally been a light to our darkness - (both hubby and I being homebound). Anyway - we had a conversation on the phone, and he was telling me because of hubby, he was thinking of not coming over again.
So suddenly the game night we had planned - he can't make it.
The housewarming which was a definate is now a maybe
The website I am building for his law firm - now he doesn't want to get together to discuss it
And hubby's surprise b-day party which was a 100% plan, is now "if i have time".
All signs seem to point to him avoiding coming over again.
It seems he is avoiding us because of hubby, and im the one who is getting hurt from it... soooooo that brings us to today.
He tells me it has nothing to do with me, and says it is about a "false delimma" whatever that means.. . (someone enlighten me?)
We liberally apply (in fact he is co-director with me of this ministry) what we call "The Four Principles" located here: http://freedomfromdivision.com/?page_id=78
I know he would tell me if there was a problem with me. But I know it's not with me, however it might be with hubby- and now I am upset with hubby.
So he tells me he is just having a rough couple of days and to just pray for him. Here is where the empathy comes. I hate it because it means I hurt for him, and literally cry out of concern for a friend, I know he is having a really bad time and feel like something horrible is going on (worst case scenario) so how come I have to have empathy? Why can't I be a jerk sometimes lol....
Anyway, I would love thoughts & ideas here... Thanks