divorce

[cooie]

Sunlion, I know people have already said this, but it bears repeating: for your DAUGHTER'S sake, DO NOT PERMIT YOUR HUSBAND TO TALK YOU INTO A DO-IT-YOURSELF DIVORCE!

West Texas Legal Services helps people who have been sued for divorce but cannot afford representation.

Richland Hills Church of Christ Divorce Recovery Info

There are probably groups in Arlington, too, but I've heard lots of good things about this group. If you are unwilling to drive to Richland Hills or if you are not comfortable with the Christian aspect, I'm sure at the very least they can refer you to another group.

Good luck to you and if there's anything I can do, let me know via PM.

 

[sunlion]

I know I'm not a horrible person, this kind of thing just screws with your mind, you know.

I also know, and I hate to say this because it feels like I'm calling him incompetent, but he is mentally ill. Depression, major clinical depression, is a mental illness. And it's chronic. You can manage it, but it never quite goes away, kind of like diabetes. Just it affects your thought processes instead of your body.

The way he is handling this reminds me of the way he stopped working when he was self-employed and stopped taking his meds. Last fall he saw a new doc who changed his meds, well actually the HMO made him take the generics, and I have just felt like it doesn't work as well. If I thought I had a case, I'd sue Blue Cross, but I'm sure he wouldn't support it.

And I know that I didn't make him unhappy, though I might not have made his situation any better. He either chose his mood or he was affected by the brain chemistry, but I didn't make him feel what he feels. And even if he can't control what he feels, he still could have chosen to act differently.

I have learned this: I feel very alone, but I'm actually not. Not only you all have been so kind and supportive, but two friends have had us over for dinner in the last week, a friend called long distance just to check on me and gave me another of her friends' phone numbers who agreed to take my call, 3 out of state friends invited us to visit (no way to get there, but I appreciate the thought), and one of my aunts spent an hour on the phone with me, just listening. Plus condolences from another dozen people via e-mail. So there are all these people out these who are thinking good thoughts for me or praying or whatever it is they do, and wow that's really very flattering.

If only I could stop being so insanely happy when he calls, since he doesn't want to talk to me, he wants his daughter . . .

 

[dtolle]

Debby, I just wanted to jump in here and say that I am sorry you are also having some marital problems. I know that must be difficult especially since you are pregnant.

Alicat, don't let all the stories scare you! There are plenty of wonderful men out there, I know this, I married to one!! When my first marriage collapsed ( and I was only 19 so what the heck did I know ), I thought I'd NEVER get married again. But then I met David and it was the most exhiliarating experience of my life. I loved him, I knew we'd get married, and when we did I knew it would be forever. We have 2 kids now, and almost 8 years have passed and its as good today as it was at the beginning.

So Debby, Sunlion, and all the others who are suffering, there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!! Not all men are scum, just some!!

 

[debby]

I felt a little guilty this morning, for making the post here that I did. I didn't mean to imply he was a jerk, I'm just very emotional these days, and feeling a bit hurt, he does have his good side. He is a very hard worker, and he is a fabulous father, he adores his children and is very good to them. That is one of the things that attracted me to him 8 years ago.
I think we will make it, because we do love each other, we just need to hang in there and get through the rough spots.

Sunlion, that is great that you have so many kind caring people to support you during this time. That will make it a little easier, I am sure. I said a prayer for you last night, and you are in my thoughts.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing. We love you!

 

[dawnt91]

Sunlion - My church, the Church on Rush Creek, recently started a divorce support group. I know you're not Baptist, but I think that this group is not only for Baptists. We had a big banner outside for quite a long while. The church is at the corner of Green Oaks and Bowen.

If you're ever feeling lonely during the day and need to get out, please give me a call. I'd love to meet you, and I bet my daughter and your daughter would like to play. We could always meet at a McDonalds or something just to spend some time out of the house.

 

[debby]

Dawn just read your post...did you mean the church divorce support group is only for Baptists, or that it wasn't. I think you just left out a word, but I thought you might want to clarify it, so Sunlion could go there if she wants.

That would be so great if you and Sunlion could get together!!

 

[dawnt91]

Thanks Debby! I really should proof read before I post. And to think I used to be an editor!

 

[debby]

well I wouldn't have pointed it out, except I was afraid Sunlion might think she had to be a Baptist to go to it, and I didn't think that's what you meant.