divorce

[noni]

I have nothing really to add...you've received good advice. What I would like to say is that if you can, try seeing a counselor on your own. It may not save the marriage, but it might help you through the rougher times. And they can get downright rough. It cannot hurt to learn how to cope better through this.

As for him, if he disrespects you enough to go and have an affair, then he isn't worth you, your time, your love, and your attention. Fat lot of good that does right now, but there will come a point where you will realize this. You're going to hurt - a whole lot - but I promise you it will get better. You will survive this, you will make it through this.

Hugs to you.

Best-
Michele

 

[tigger]

I go see a counselor on Wednesday, actually. I almost feel like asking him next time we talk, if he is still attracted to me. I dont think it is a sexual affair with this girl, I think it might be another type, or atleast Id like to hope. Its funny .. on my b-day, he bought me my first birthday cake, and he said I was worth it, and he should have done it sooner. Also, he bought me a really nice white gold necklace, and a white gold diamond ring. So, I wonder if he was feeling guilty like they say. I asked him that one day, and he said he bought because he said it was to make me happy, and that the probably said the things (about being a better person) subconciously. Not to mention, he showed his "friend" the stuff he bought me at the mall, and oh, he went with her to the cell phone store @ lunch when her phone wasnt working ..... I even told him not to go with her.
I just wish he knew ........

 

[deb25]

I'm sad to say, Tigger, that I think your assessment of the situation is dead-on accurate. Either he is involved with this woman, or will be in time. The other sad part is that it probably won't last, but that may be months or years away, and by then it will be too late. What seems to be certain is that he is involved with her on an emotional level, which is what caused him to kick you to the curb so abruptly. It's so much easier to walk away when someone is waiting in the wings. In my experience, though, he allowed that friendship to evolve because he wasn't happy to begin with, but instead of acknowledging it or working on it with you, he just let it happen. It really is very telling of the 7-year itch type of thing. What the majority of people don't understand is that a good, healthy marriage takes a lot of work and effort. It doesn't just occur.

I'm gald you are seeing a counselor. It will take time to pick up the pieces and move on for you. After all, you aren't the one who has someone new as a distraction. Good luck, and I am sorry that you have to go through this.

 

[jennyr]

I hate to agree but I have to. When I was separating from my first husband, there was a guy at work who was very sympathetic and I ended up telling him everything. Then, a year later, he was going through the same thing, and guess what? We ended up together and he became my second husband, though we divorced 17 years later. These kinds of friendships don't usually start unless the parties are at least attracted to each other.

 

[deb25]

Originally Posted by jennyranson

These kinds of friendships don't usually start unless the parties are at least attracted to each other.

And, often, the attraction isn't there unless there is some type of disillusionment in the regular situation. I am far from pointing a finger and saying that anyone is at fault, but when everything is just dandy, you don't respond to the stimulus even when it is thrown in your path.

 

[katl8e]

Good luck, Tigger. If he's got that attitude, maybe you're better off without him. My ex got involved with an old friend of ours and left me, for her. There were a lot of other issues, too. After being totally devastated and beating myself up, asking "why?", I decided to get on with the business of life. He tried his best to turn me into a total basket case but, I'd be d****d if I'd let him win or have that kind of control over me. Thank goodness, for my family and my REAL friends.

If its any consolation, there IS some justice in the world: less than a year after leaving, Numbnuts had to have double-bypass surgery and, because of that, the doctor cut off his Viagra prescription!

Just remember - living well is the best revenge!

Check those statutes and make sure that your marital rights are safeguarded, though.

 

[fwan]

i hope all the best for you
he sounds like a total loser!
You are most probably better off with out him.
I know how angry you are because it would *&^% me off too if there was some other B**** involved!

just hang in there you will get through it