Guys, I've got my handsful right now! As most of you know I've been chatting online with a guy named Ric. It's going awesome...absolutely awesome. BUT...my ex called me a couple of weeks ago asking if I'd meet him in Omaha. At the time, I was leary but we do have some issues to talk about(for one, he's freaking married...which he's told me for the past 3 1/2 years that he's getting a divorce). So, we planned on him flying from Chicago tomorrow. Everything was fine until Ric asked me what I was going to do on my days off. I told him I was meeting a "friend"...I didn't lie, I just neglected to tell him everything in fear of what he'd think. Well, he called tonight & asked me if I'd like to stop by his house on my way to Omaha. I told him it wasn't a good idea and he started asking questions. I finally told him who I was actually going to meet & he seemed a little hurt by it. He has every right to be that way...we've been chatting since July. But I decided to stop by his place to meet him anyway...
Here's the dilemma...I know that Bill (my ex) is wanting me back but I don't want to get back with him. Since we are meeting in Omaha, we'll have to stay at a hotel. I'm sure he's expecting me to be intimate with him especially since he's made a few comments about that. However, I don't want to. I'm way too emotional when it comes to things like that & I don't want to be used. BUT...he's so damn persuasive (sp?) & for some reason I get suckered into his scheme. He's such a smooth talker and he knows that I've always been a sucker for that.
I told Ric what my intentions were...which is to tell Bill that I don't want to see him anymore & that I'm moving on with my life with out him. Ric said that he understood and that it's my perogative to do what I want. I just feel like I gave Ric the wrong impression of how I really am. He made the comment that I'll probably do something I'll regret later (being intimate)....and that bothers me a lot! I have to be really strong tomorrow and resist his temptations. I really want this thing with Ric to work...or at least give it a good try. I'm just afraid that he thinks I'm just an "easy" kind of gal which I am NOT.
So now I'm nervous not only because I have to meet Ric for the first time, but also to drop the big bomb on Bill. I told Bill last week that I was kind of seeing someone & he dismissed it completely. I've been used enough by him & I pray that tomorrow won't be another time.
I'm sorry for dropping this load on you guys...I'm just stressed over this bigtime & needed to talk. Thank you all for being so kind in listening to me vent & worry.
Here's the dilemma...I know that Bill (my ex) is wanting me back but I don't want to get back with him. Since we are meeting in Omaha, we'll have to stay at a hotel. I'm sure he's expecting me to be intimate with him especially since he's made a few comments about that. However, I don't want to. I'm way too emotional when it comes to things like that & I don't want to be used. BUT...he's so damn persuasive (sp?) & for some reason I get suckered into his scheme. He's such a smooth talker and he knows that I've always been a sucker for that.
I told Ric what my intentions were...which is to tell Bill that I don't want to see him anymore & that I'm moving on with my life with out him. Ric said that he understood and that it's my perogative to do what I want. I just feel like I gave Ric the wrong impression of how I really am. He made the comment that I'll probably do something I'll regret later (being intimate)....and that bothers me a lot! I have to be really strong tomorrow and resist his temptations. I really want this thing with Ric to work...or at least give it a good try. I'm just afraid that he thinks I'm just an "easy" kind of gal which I am NOT.
So now I'm nervous not only because I have to meet Ric for the first time, but also to drop the big bomb on Bill. I told Bill last week that I was kind of seeing someone & he dismissed it completely. I've been used enough by him & I pray that tomorrow won't be another time.
I'm sorry for dropping this load on you guys...I'm just stressed over this bigtime & needed to talk. Thank you all for being so kind in listening to me vent & worry.