Hi all, I lost my beloved Marcus to cancer in December. I adopted another cat, 6-year-old Leo, from another family where he was the only the only cat. We got off to a rocky start. I have other cats and two dogs so I put him in a bathroom for a few weeks. He and I had a lot of problems, he bit me and just seemed to hate me in general. My dad suggested I let him out, thinking maybe he just didn't want to be confined. Leo seemed better, but now one of my females is somewhat terrorizing him. She seems to stalk him. And another female hisses at him anytime she sees him. Both of these females are young, maybe a couple years old and they dont even always get along. And Leo still doesn't like me. He walks away anytime I come to him. He will let me pick him up and pet him sometimes, but for the most part he is afraid. I have another cat, a 15-year-old male who thankfully no one is mean to. I'm hearing hissing all the time, Leo grows and is just generally unhappy. I don't know what to do, Feliway is not working and it is so stressful. I'm not sure what to do. Maybe Leo needs to be the only cat in another home. But I wonder if this dominate female, Lexi, is just going to terrorize anyone new that I bring home. Any advice or support would be appreciated.
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Did I screw up introducing Leo to my household?
- Thread starter misspanda
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Is everyone spayed and neutered? What is the ratio of male to females?
I did a poor introduction once, and it took YEARS for the cat to find balance again. Our problem ultimately had to do with males competing (even though everyone was fixed) and we had to remove the other male cat. Now we have a new 2nd male cat, and they get along fine - are even friends.
I love cats so much, but over the years we have adopted a few that were "incompatible" with our existing clan that we eventually had to rehome. I am not trying to be discouraging, but cats have distinct personalities and sometimes they just dont mix.
I would let him out, and create places for him to feel he belongs such as his own bed, window seat, etc. Cats need to feel safe and as if they have "ownership" of their area. This is always hard when introducing a new pet to a multi-pet household, but it does help. Be very encouraging to him - but that doesn't have to mean picking him up and being overly affectionate. I have had a few cats that took months to years to warm to me...but if you give them space and time they usually will - and will respect you immensely for giving them that space! For example, one was semi-feral and hid under the dining room table for close to a year before she would move about the house or let anyone pet her. I would go sit on the floor next to the table and just talk to her with no physical contact. She ended up being the best family cat!
Keeping him in the bathroom could be a part of the problem if the other animals are coming to the door and antagonizing him. You could also try keeping him in a different room with less access. In my experience cats dont like being confined in bathrooms because they generally dont have good resting places with all the tile, etc.
Good luck with Leo.
I did a poor introduction once, and it took YEARS for the cat to find balance again. Our problem ultimately had to do with males competing (even though everyone was fixed) and we had to remove the other male cat. Now we have a new 2nd male cat, and they get along fine - are even friends.
I love cats so much, but over the years we have adopted a few that were "incompatible" with our existing clan that we eventually had to rehome. I am not trying to be discouraging, but cats have distinct personalities and sometimes they just dont mix.
I would let him out, and create places for him to feel he belongs such as his own bed, window seat, etc. Cats need to feel safe and as if they have "ownership" of their area. This is always hard when introducing a new pet to a multi-pet household, but it does help. Be very encouraging to him - but that doesn't have to mean picking him up and being overly affectionate. I have had a few cats that took months to years to warm to me...but if you give them space and time they usually will - and will respect you immensely for giving them that space! For example, one was semi-feral and hid under the dining room table for close to a year before she would move about the house or let anyone pet her. I would go sit on the floor next to the table and just talk to her with no physical contact. She ended up being the best family cat!
Keeping him in the bathroom could be a part of the problem if the other animals are coming to the door and antagonizing him. You could also try keeping him in a different room with less access. In my experience cats dont like being confined in bathrooms because they generally dont have good resting places with all the tile, etc.
Good luck with Leo.
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Thanks for the reply casemarten. Everyone is altered. Leo is 6 and the two females are probably a year or so, Pumpkin and Lexi. Leo has been out of the bathroom for several weeks now and has free reign of the house. The hissing and fighting happens just as they are all walking around. I think for sure I am trying to hard with Leo, trying to touch him too much. Maybe at least I will back off. I feel bad that he must think everyone in the house is an enemy, but he actually gets along with my 15-year-old Oscar. Oscar is just awesome though!
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Maybe watch how Oscar interacts with him and do what Oscar does 
They know better than we do!
They know better than we do!
My theory is that not only did you introduce a male to females( my experience is females are generally very territorial and become "boss") and it sounds like one of the females is ALPHA cat. They get an attitude and try to intimidate the others. I have 2 cats that are 8yrs, and a 8month old cat, they are all males. The newbie has really created a paranoid situational for the older guys by attacking them all the time and now they are holed up in the bedroom upstairs. I ,like you , feel like I brought this newbie to our household, which has basically upset my cats ALOT. I feel guilty sometimes. I am hoping as he gets older he will calm down but he is a ALPHA cat for sure. Your females are very young @1-3 yrs old and time may make them tolerate Leo and hyper down a bit. Does Leo get chased, pushed out of resting places, and pushed away from food dish? I have tried many things to stop this attacking and really the best one is placing my Alpha in the bathroom ( and there is a fluffy towel for him in there) the minute he starts attacking and hissing for about 5 min. Because your Leo needs some confidence , I would try putting the others in some room giving Leo the rest of your home to explore without being
Worried about them. Don't forget to put a towel or something at the crack under the door. Your girls will be fine sequestered , just leave a litter box and food, and start with a nice long couple of hours or however long it takes him to start wondering around and gradually shorten the time they are separated,
It may give Leo a chance to explore on his own and feel less scared. It will take him a while probably to go out on his own. Good luck and keep us posted, ok?
Worried about them. Don't forget to put a towel or something at the crack under the door. Your girls will be fine sequestered , just leave a litter box and food, and start with a nice long couple of hours or however long it takes him to start wondering around and gradually shorten the time they are separated,
It may give Leo a chance to explore on his own and feel less scared. It will take him a while probably to go out on his own. Good luck and keep us posted, ok?
