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- Feb 5, 2017
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Hi, first time posting, but I have been lurking here for quite a while. I know a lot of the members are very knowledgeable here and I would appreciate any advice. This might get long so please hold on for the ride! I would really appreciate any help...thank you so much.
Here is my situation:
I used to live with my mother about 3 years ago. I got my cats 5 years ago. For 2 years she accepted my cats, "accepted" being a very hard term to put it. She is not a big fan of cats actually, she doesn't like them at all. They ended up scratching her white rug and white couch (completely made out of that cotton-flex material) that she told me cost "3k and 8k" respectively. She has a house dedicated to a white and cerulean-blue theme and my two black cats were apparently "ruining" this aesthetic. I tried my very best to make them not scratch these two items. She doesn't even like them going on them because they have black fur. I used everything, including the sprays (3 different deterrent sprays), I had up to 10 different scratching posts, squares, inclines all scattered around the house so that they wouldn't scratch (but also she didn't like them around the house... because this ruined the 'aesthetic' so that ended up being a huge argument as well). I tried covering up the couch with a cover at night so they wouldn't go on it, and a cover for the rug...she didn't like it because it ruined her aesthetic... She also didn't like their smell (they didn't have any), their fur, how they ran away from her (she's always yelling and screaming), etc. etc.
Regardless, I ended up moving out because my mother couldn't stand my cats. She said, that the only way the cats could stay would be if I declawed them. She got this idea from my neighbors, who apparently, all 3 of them around the cul-de-sac declawed their cats. I was very upset at the time when I learned this as well, because I know at least 2 of the neighbors lets their cats outdoors. I'm COMPLETELY against declawing, and I can't even imagine my cats declawed due to their own personalities and the amount of negative effect that will have on them (more on this later). I told her no, I gave her tons of articles, videos, regarding how terrible it is to declaw and she said "I don't care about all that. If THEY (the neighbors) can do it, WHY CAN'T YOU".
Anyway, right after that, I left to go fend my self off for 3 years with my cats helping me every step of the way. Unfortunately, my mother the entire time told me that I could come back anytime I wanted (rent-free), as long as I either got rid of my cats, or declawed them. Although this is really a tempting offer to a college student who was working a full time job at minimum wage...I couldn't accept this offer. I couldn't give them up or declaw them, no matter what my mother said or no matter how cheap it would be to live at her house (literally saving over 12k of pure living expenses a year).
Unfortunately, I'm going to law school and I would be needing to stop working full time for this to happen. I cannot live on my own anymore (I do have a savings dedicated ONLY to my cats which I touch only for them), and I will be needing to live with my mom. The declawing option came back again when I was talking to her this week and I REALLY NEED SAFE, SOUND, EASY HAPPY ALTERNATIVES!!!
Also to fully why I can't give them up/put them up for adoption/ no way in hell I'm declawing them, I need to fully explain my cats:
My two cats are named Bean Dip and Meatloaf, 10 and 15 years old respectively. They are seniors but they are very active!
They have been cycling in the foster/adoption system for around 4 years until I got to them, I adopted two at the same time because they bonded in the foster home. Bean Dip was a rescue from an extremely abusive home, and has EXTREME anxiety, depression...the most nervous of any cat can be. Meatloaf, on the other hand was a stray for ~6 years, got to an adoption center...and just stayed there. They were both adults when I got them, and as you know...adult cats do not go as fast as kittens, especially not cats that are 5~10 years old...and sadly, especially not black cats.
As I said, Bean Dip had a very rough beginning, and his behavior shows this. According to the agency, he was strangled with a plastic bag several times and was beaten/shaved etc for no reason. He came to them in a nervous wreck.
It makes me mad every time I think about it... Anyway, for Bean Dip, it took him about 7 months to even let me touch him when I adopted him. The entire time, he stayed in the litter box, or in the bathroom, refused to go out side of the room, hid in the cabinets, and refused to even look at me. Constantly threw up out of anxiety. He went through about 3 families, according to the adoption agency, and they brought him back every time because he didn't acclimate to the environment and I could see why. It took me full 2 years to develop his trust, and he is the sweetest cat ever, but definitely for someone who has patience and understanding. Even if I were to give him up, especially at 10 years old with a traumatic background, this is literally a death sentence. I cannot, and will not, give him up...but declawing is an extremely awful option too.
Even I almost even gave up on him around 7 months. He has a VERY HARD TIME going to the vet, meeting anyone new, doing anything that is outside his comfort zone...none of which is his fault. He lived with my mom for 2 years and he will not let her touch him. So there are a lot of things I must avoid. Small things, like making loud noise, startling him, trying to pet him too fast, stomping, opening the blinds too fast, plastic bags, trash bags... and big things like maintenance men/visitors that comes in my apartment and literally paralyzes him and he will stay underneath the bed for 4 days... As you can see, I cannot for the life of me, clip his nails (has extreme trauma), and he, along with meatloaf, are HUGE, tall cats (roughly around 19 lbs) so it is an EXTREME struggle.
I cannot even imagine what such traumatic thing like declawing would do to Bean Dip. He visits the vet once a year (always a clean bill of health though) and he will hide and won't come out, for up to a week, when he goes. He looks like he's betrayed and won't even let me touch him for up to 2 weeks (it really breaks my heart). When I leave for over 24 to 48 hours, I come home in multiple piles of anxiety vomit. Anxiety reducing things like Feliaway doesn't help. When Meatloaf leaves the room, Bean dip MUST follow him. When we lived in a two story house, Meatloaf would frequently leave Bean Dip downstairs and Bean Dip would start YOWLING like crazy out of separation problems (and Meatloaf would just sprint to him to tell him he's there).
I really, really need something that can help the scratching problem, but is not traumatic for him...even clipping his nails is too much. I don't know what to do, I'm in tears.
For Meatloaf, he's a strong and great old man. He's very, what my vet called, "paw-sy", and will not let anyone touch him unless he wants it. When the vet wanted to examine his mouth, up to three people had to hold him down because he's strong, huge, lean, mean, fighting machine. I like to imagine him as an old war veteran.
Also, if he hates something, he will SHOW it. When Bean Dip used to wear a collar (this also upped his anxiety but I had no idea until a couple of days later), the bell would piss him off so Meatloaf CHEWED through the collar so Bean Dip wouldn't wear anything. It was a regular collar... I didn't think cat teeth could do that much damage, to this day I'm astounded. He has chewed through play ropes before, wires, my crocs (lol), etc (wires are so bad and I put the citrus stuff on them so he doesn't chew but he doesn't give a CRAP. if he wants to chew it, he chews it. I just hide the wires now). He depends on his nails a lot to climb a lot of stuff like chairs, couches, beds, and I don't know what will happen to him either if he gets declawed. I don't even think it is an option at his age. Unnecessary surgery at 15???? No thanks.
I tried looking into softpaws, but as I have said before, he is extremely paw-sy and extremely...filled with hatred at stuff he doesn't like. I'm not sure if I can apply it regularly, and if I do, I have an extreme feeling that he will just chew that off. Even if it takes him 5 hours, he will try to take it off. He's so filled with hatred.
SO here is my story and here are my cat's problems. What can I do, catsite folks? Please give me your wisdom, god knows I need it.
TL;DR:
Strict mother. Past-abused cat and a crazy old man cat. Can't declaw, can't give them up.
1. I need a recommendation for something that can hold a cat down as well. I've tried towels and they breakthrough it. When I get someone to hold my cats, Bean Dip LOSES his mind at the site of anybody but me anywhere close to him. Same for Meatloaf, just not as extreme. When I went to pet con, I saw a weird vest, almost like a straight jacket for cats that are supposed to hold them immobile but I haven't seen it anywhere but there, and that was about 2 years ago. Do you know of anything like that?
2. Is there any other option then cutting their nails/SoftPaws?? How is cutting their nails compared to softpaws? What about grinding them to making them round? Does it puncture cloth badly??
I need help!!!
Thank you so much for sticking with this wall of text, I'm sorry.
Here is my situation:
I used to live with my mother about 3 years ago. I got my cats 5 years ago. For 2 years she accepted my cats, "accepted" being a very hard term to put it. She is not a big fan of cats actually, she doesn't like them at all. They ended up scratching her white rug and white couch (completely made out of that cotton-flex material) that she told me cost "3k and 8k" respectively. She has a house dedicated to a white and cerulean-blue theme and my two black cats were apparently "ruining" this aesthetic. I tried my very best to make them not scratch these two items. She doesn't even like them going on them because they have black fur. I used everything, including the sprays (3 different deterrent sprays), I had up to 10 different scratching posts, squares, inclines all scattered around the house so that they wouldn't scratch (but also she didn't like them around the house... because this ruined the 'aesthetic' so that ended up being a huge argument as well). I tried covering up the couch with a cover at night so they wouldn't go on it, and a cover for the rug...she didn't like it because it ruined her aesthetic... She also didn't like their smell (they didn't have any), their fur, how they ran away from her (she's always yelling and screaming), etc. etc.
Regardless, I ended up moving out because my mother couldn't stand my cats. She said, that the only way the cats could stay would be if I declawed them. She got this idea from my neighbors, who apparently, all 3 of them around the cul-de-sac declawed their cats. I was very upset at the time when I learned this as well, because I know at least 2 of the neighbors lets their cats outdoors. I'm COMPLETELY against declawing, and I can't even imagine my cats declawed due to their own personalities and the amount of negative effect that will have on them (more on this later). I told her no, I gave her tons of articles, videos, regarding how terrible it is to declaw and she said "I don't care about all that. If THEY (the neighbors) can do it, WHY CAN'T YOU".
Anyway, right after that, I left to go fend my self off for 3 years with my cats helping me every step of the way. Unfortunately, my mother the entire time told me that I could come back anytime I wanted (rent-free), as long as I either got rid of my cats, or declawed them. Although this is really a tempting offer to a college student who was working a full time job at minimum wage...I couldn't accept this offer. I couldn't give them up or declaw them, no matter what my mother said or no matter how cheap it would be to live at her house (literally saving over 12k of pure living expenses a year).
Unfortunately, I'm going to law school and I would be needing to stop working full time for this to happen. I cannot live on my own anymore (I do have a savings dedicated ONLY to my cats which I touch only for them), and I will be needing to live with my mom. The declawing option came back again when I was talking to her this week and I REALLY NEED SAFE, SOUND, EASY HAPPY ALTERNATIVES!!!
Also to fully why I can't give them up/put them up for adoption/ no way in hell I'm declawing them, I need to fully explain my cats:
My two cats are named Bean Dip and Meatloaf, 10 and 15 years old respectively. They are seniors but they are very active!
As I said, Bean Dip had a very rough beginning, and his behavior shows this. According to the agency, he was strangled with a plastic bag several times and was beaten/shaved etc for no reason. He came to them in a nervous wreck.
Even I almost even gave up on him around 7 months. He has a VERY HARD TIME going to the vet, meeting anyone new, doing anything that is outside his comfort zone...none of which is his fault. He lived with my mom for 2 years and he will not let her touch him. So there are a lot of things I must avoid. Small things, like making loud noise, startling him, trying to pet him too fast, stomping, opening the blinds too fast, plastic bags, trash bags... and big things like maintenance men/visitors that comes in my apartment and literally paralyzes him and he will stay underneath the bed for 4 days... As you can see, I cannot for the life of me, clip his nails (has extreme trauma), and he, along with meatloaf, are HUGE, tall cats (roughly around 19 lbs) so it is an EXTREME struggle.
I cannot even imagine what such traumatic thing like declawing would do to Bean Dip. He visits the vet once a year (always a clean bill of health though) and he will hide and won't come out, for up to a week, when he goes. He looks like he's betrayed and won't even let me touch him for up to 2 weeks (it really breaks my heart). When I leave for over 24 to 48 hours, I come home in multiple piles of anxiety vomit. Anxiety reducing things like Feliaway doesn't help. When Meatloaf leaves the room, Bean dip MUST follow him. When we lived in a two story house, Meatloaf would frequently leave Bean Dip downstairs and Bean Dip would start YOWLING like crazy out of separation problems (and Meatloaf would just sprint to him to tell him he's there).
I really, really need something that can help the scratching problem, but is not traumatic for him...even clipping his nails is too much. I don't know what to do, I'm in tears.
For Meatloaf, he's a strong and great old man. He's very, what my vet called, "paw-sy", and will not let anyone touch him unless he wants it. When the vet wanted to examine his mouth, up to three people had to hold him down because he's strong, huge, lean, mean, fighting machine. I like to imagine him as an old war veteran.
I tried looking into softpaws, but as I have said before, he is extremely paw-sy and extremely...filled with hatred at stuff he doesn't like. I'm not sure if I can apply it regularly, and if I do, I have an extreme feeling that he will just chew that off. Even if it takes him 5 hours, he will try to take it off. He's so filled with hatred.
SO here is my story and here are my cat's problems. What can I do, catsite folks? Please give me your wisdom, god knows I need it.
TL;DR:
Strict mother. Past-abused cat and a crazy old man cat. Can't declaw, can't give them up.
1. I need a recommendation for something that can hold a cat down as well. I've tried towels and they breakthrough it. When I get someone to hold my cats, Bean Dip LOSES his mind at the site of anybody but me anywhere close to him. Same for Meatloaf, just not as extreme. When I went to pet con, I saw a weird vest, almost like a straight jacket for cats that are supposed to hold them immobile but I haven't seen it anywhere but there, and that was about 2 years ago. Do you know of anything like that?
2. Is there any other option then cutting their nails/SoftPaws?? How is cutting their nails compared to softpaws? What about grinding them to making them round? Does it puncture cloth badly??
I need help!!!
Thank you so much for sticking with this wall of text, I'm sorry.