I just need to vent this out to you all, some of you are aware of our latest ordeal with Sugar who went in about a month ago for removal of a tumor (which was cancerous) and some dental work but had a terrible reaction to the anesthesia inhalant, stopped breathing for a minute because the breathing tube was blocked with mucous so they had to do CPR on her, two days later had a seizure thanks to all of this but praise God made it through and has been back home now for weeks and is doing pretty darn good, but it is just hitting me now as it can just how serious this was, how close to losing her we came, and even though she is doing well I know it is on the back of my mind "how much did this hurt her, is she okay, is she going to have another seizure or heart issue, will the cancer come back?" and it can wear you down; when you are going through it you are pumped up with adrenaline and in the fight or flight mode, but afterwards it can get to you. Add to this a few months ago my truck was dying as I was driving it, 3 times it did it, had no idea it would happen, got it into the garage and they said it was fixed, worked for a day and now instead of dying on me it wouldn't start! They had it for weeks thinking it was this or that, replaced about half the parts in the engine and finally realized that it was the aftermarket computer that was bad, in fact 3 in a row were bad, we got a computer from a local junkyard and it has been fine ever since, but same issue as Sugar, that was months ago yet when I start it up I still wonder "will it start?" so it takes time to become confident and believe again I guess!
In December I got a call from someone telling me that a woman I hadn't spoken to in 15 years was in bad shape and I was power of attorney which floored me; Deb and I had gone out with her and her husband in 2001, they used to work with me and they took us to dinner and talked about us "taking care of things" when the time came. We said we would, but never heard anything after that, and here it turns out they had all of the legal paperwork made up but never told me, and he died 3 weeks after they drew up the papers! I knew we had talked about but knew I never signed anything, but when I went to meet her male companion he showed me that I not only was power of attorney but also executor (she didn't have much, lived in an apartment, had no car, just a few things) and I was also beneficiary of the will! I had to sit down, I almost passed out.....but to make a long story even more unbearable I handled it all, was able to visit her in the hospital and she was still with it enough that we had a wonderful visit, we got caught up with each other and understood that sometimes people drift apart, she had met this fella years ago and they were happy, and I thought he would have taken this over but she said he didn't want to and I knew he couldn't have done it being older too, so I took care of things, she passed comfortably a few days later, I tried to get her and her husbands ashes buried in the military cemetery here in PA. but since he was dismissed for "bad conduct" they wouldn't accept it, so I used some of the beneficiary money to bury their ashes in a plot in the cemetery right across the street from where their apartment was, and everyone thought that was proper and fitting as did Deb & I, I can sleep at night knowing that I did my best and took care of their wishes even though I had no idea I was that involved and really learned a lot!
And on top of that last October my mother was admitted to the hospital because she was having seizures, but my mother was addicted to migraine headache medicine and despite me "wrestling" with her about it I guess it finally took an episode like that to get her to get help and praise God she did, has been off that since then and on other medicines to help prevent them and is doing better, not quite the same as before she got problems but better.
And a few months before that last June my father was admitted to the hospital and he had a mini stroke, lesions on the brain. That was 1 year ago and he like my mom is not quite the same, is okay but will never be the same, struggles at times getting the words out of his head but is not horrible, but that started this pattern of stress every few months for me and I think this episode with Sugar really hit me hard now, and reminded me that this has now been 5 major stressful events in 1 year, and it is wearing me even though I try to deal with the stress with Holy Basil and vitamins and sleep and prayer and exercise and talking to people, and I know that we all have stress in our lives but this with her was very different, no one I talk to, even with people who have many cats and have been around cats for years have gone through anything like this so it is uncharted waters for me, but I just try to exercise and stay strong and deal with it, but I hope I don't get hit with another "wave" anytime soon!!
Thanks if you read through this VERY long post, it helps just getting it "off my chest"....any replies would be greatly appreciated!!!
Les
In December I got a call from someone telling me that a woman I hadn't spoken to in 15 years was in bad shape and I was power of attorney which floored me; Deb and I had gone out with her and her husband in 2001, they used to work with me and they took us to dinner and talked about us "taking care of things" when the time came. We said we would, but never heard anything after that, and here it turns out they had all of the legal paperwork made up but never told me, and he died 3 weeks after they drew up the papers! I knew we had talked about but knew I never signed anything, but when I went to meet her male companion he showed me that I not only was power of attorney but also executor (she didn't have much, lived in an apartment, had no car, just a few things) and I was also beneficiary of the will! I had to sit down, I almost passed out.....but to make a long story even more unbearable I handled it all, was able to visit her in the hospital and she was still with it enough that we had a wonderful visit, we got caught up with each other and understood that sometimes people drift apart, she had met this fella years ago and they were happy, and I thought he would have taken this over but she said he didn't want to and I knew he couldn't have done it being older too, so I took care of things, she passed comfortably a few days later, I tried to get her and her husbands ashes buried in the military cemetery here in PA. but since he was dismissed for "bad conduct" they wouldn't accept it, so I used some of the beneficiary money to bury their ashes in a plot in the cemetery right across the street from where their apartment was, and everyone thought that was proper and fitting as did Deb & I, I can sleep at night knowing that I did my best and took care of their wishes even though I had no idea I was that involved and really learned a lot!
And on top of that last October my mother was admitted to the hospital because she was having seizures, but my mother was addicted to migraine headache medicine and despite me "wrestling" with her about it I guess it finally took an episode like that to get her to get help and praise God she did, has been off that since then and on other medicines to help prevent them and is doing better, not quite the same as before she got problems but better.
And a few months before that last June my father was admitted to the hospital and he had a mini stroke, lesions on the brain. That was 1 year ago and he like my mom is not quite the same, is okay but will never be the same, struggles at times getting the words out of his head but is not horrible, but that started this pattern of stress every few months for me and I think this episode with Sugar really hit me hard now, and reminded me that this has now been 5 major stressful events in 1 year, and it is wearing me even though I try to deal with the stress with Holy Basil and vitamins and sleep and prayer and exercise and talking to people, and I know that we all have stress in our lives but this with her was very different, no one I talk to, even with people who have many cats and have been around cats for years have gone through anything like this so it is uncharted waters for me, but I just try to exercise and stay strong and deal with it, but I hope I don't get hit with another "wave" anytime soon!!
Thanks if you read through this VERY long post, it helps just getting it "off my chest"....any replies would be greatly appreciated!!!
Les
Our veterinary specialty center offers a no-cost pet grief support group as well as private counseling. I'm guessing this did not exist 20 or 30 years ago and fortunately for us they have recognized there is an important need for these type of services. 
