Dealing with a 'teenage' kitten?!

[crystalnicole]

My Lulu is just about 7 months, and we got her spayed a few weeks ago. She is very small and was the runt of her litter, if that means anything. The past month or two she’s been super ‘bratty’ , as we describe it. She doesn’t like to be held or cuddled, bites us (my boyfriend and I, we have a house together) a lot for no reason, and generally doesn’t listen as much as she used to. The biggest thing I notice with her though is her lack of affection…she still follows me everywhere but she never wants to be held or cuddled whatsoever…she either bites or wiggles away. And yes, we have tried everything with the biting- immediately stopping petting/play and yelling “OW!”, etc.  She's basically just being really independent and doing her own thing, which isn't a bad thing (except for the biting!), but I hope she settles down a bit over time.

Also, I am trying to find a way to teach her that biting isn't the proper way to say "Hey, I've had enough petting" or "Don't pet me there", because that's what she does. I NEVER want to have a cat that bites/lashes out randomly, so I am trying to re-mediate this so it doesn't turn into a life-long habit, but I'm not sure what else to do. Again, we usually do the right thing and say "NO!" and pull away every time and give her a toy. I am probably better at this than my boyfriend, who lets her get away with biting-playing more than I do.

Anyway, my question is, do cats have a ‘bratty, teenage stage’ they go through like humans? Will she calm down and get more affectionate with time? She’s our only pet and she’s the love of my life and I hope she goes back to needing/loving her Mama like before Any input would be appreciated!!

 

[kittywhiskers]

My Amber who is now just over 2 years old used to grab and bite arms when she was small and we used to give her a hiss. We only had to do this a few times and she seemed to get the message pretty quick, she really didn't like being hissed at. Even now when she is having a play session on the floor with one of us she will grab one of our arms out of excitement but then quickly lets go when she realises what she's done.

The thing is, if your boyfriend lets her get away with doing this she will still think it's ok. You both have to be consistent with telling her no otherwise it will just be confusing for her.

Don't worry, once she gets past the bratty stage I'm sure she will go back to being as loving as before.

Good luck!

 

[mservant]

Could be she is having a bratty teenage phase but more often that would be before she had been spayed and hormones were kicking in.  While they do take time to settle after the surgery I would not expect this as a new behaviour.  If it only started after the surgery it is worth checking with the vet in case there are any complications from the surgery, always possible she has pain somewhere.  

I agree with @KittyWhiskers  about the consistency.  If she gets different messages from people about what behaviour is OK she will be very confused and not understand what you want of her.  This sort of thing can be quite stressful for cats and that in turn can make them more aggressive and reluctant to have contact with you.

You are doing well with saying no and attempting to substitute your arm with a toy but you need to be careful not to pull away quickly as this can also give confusing messages to cats who can see the pulling away as an invitation for further chase and play, or trigger a deffensive response if they think you might attack them.  The more arroused and anxious the cat is the more risk there is of them picking up the wrong meaning from you pulling away.  It is often best to stay still and quiet once you havev told them no, and then only to move away slowly once the cat has relaxed their bite.

Fingers crossed you manage to find a way to communicate with her and find a way to resolve the behaviour.  Worth checking with your vet though if not done so already.

 

[kellerjack]

My cat Doofus does this as well and I have been trying to teach him that biting is not play for me! I've also done the OW, NO, walk away thing. I think he is in his teenage stage as well. I know he just wants to play, but my arm is full of scars now and that's not okay My boyfriend will also play more rough with him than me because he's only ever had a dog. Looks like we have to train the boyfriend more so than the cat!

 

[mani]

 
My cat Doofus does this as well and I have been trying to teach him that biting is not play for me! I've also done the OW, NO, walk away thing. I think he is in his teenage stage as well. I know he just wants to play, but my arm is full of scars now and that's not okay My boyfriend will also play more rough with him than me because he's only ever had a dog. Looks like we have to train the boyfriend more so than the cat!

Absolutely!

 

 

[mservant]

 
My cat Doofus does this as well and I have been trying to teach him that biting is not play for me! I've also done the OW, NO, walk away thing. I think he is in his teenage stage as well. I know he just wants to play, but my arm is full of scars now and that's not okay My boyfriend will also play more rough with him than me because he's only ever had a dog. Looks like we have to train the boyfriend more so than the cat!

 
Absolutely!

 

Yep, some serious BF training required.  

    Good luck to you both!