Cremation vs burial - I need help deciding

[spac]

I hope it's ok to post this here.
Just a warning, some people may find this issue to be sensitive and upsetting. If you just lost a pet, you may be upset by this thread.


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Ideally, I wish I could bury my cats somewhere where we could all be together at the very end where no one will ever bother our gravesites. I realize that's completely unrealistic and that sometimes human cemeteries get moved so the land can be developed. I've buried some of my cats on my property, but it upsets me that in 5-15 years I'll have to move and leave my babies behind. They weren't buried in a way that I could dig up their graves and take them with me. It bothers me to think that the next person who owns this property may end up digging up my babies or destroying their gravesite.

Knowing this, I choose private cremations. But I also don't fully trust crematories as there have been stories about some of them. I wish I could watch the entire process so I know that I'm actually getting my cat's ashes back, but most I've encountered don't permit that, not even for human cremations. But I find that I have to put my trust in them and hope for the best. I've found it unsettling when I've gotten back ashes/urns where the ligher weight cat's urn seemed heavier than the heavier cat's urn even though the urns are the same material. I've thought about taking out the little bag of ashes and weighing them, but sometimes ignorance is bliss.

The problem is that with the rising costs of everything, it's becoming a problem to use the private cremation services through the vet clinic. Even the commingled cremation service is kind of expensive. I have other cat's that need veterinary care and I have to think about that.

On Saturday I unexpectedly lost my cat. I found that I can get her privately cremated at a local human funeral home for a decent price. It doesn't cost that much more than using a commingled pet crematory service through the vet. However, my family is upset with me for wanting to pay an extra $170 to get her cremated. They would prefer I bury her in the yard with the other cats.

But to me, $170 is worth piece of mind. It's better than paying an extra $400 that the vet clinic charges for private cremations. It's better than the extra $100 I would have to pay for the commingled cremation where I get no ashes back.

I don't know what I'm going to do with all these ashes though. When I die, who will follow my wishes and mix my ashes with all my cats' ashes and scatter us on the property we used to live on? I won't have anyone to do this. So maybe I should just bury the cat. But I don't want to. For right now, private cremation through the funeral home is giving me piece of mind.

I don't know. I wouldn't mind opinions on this because maybe someone has a point of view that I haven't thought of. I just know that I think a deceased body should be treated with respect and their wishes carried out. My family doesn't care about a deceased body because the soul has left the body and that the body is really just a vessel. OK, they're entitled to their beliefs, but I'm also entitled to mine.

 

[Robyn5678]

If you have a will and testemant I believe you can put your wishes in there and it would be complete. Who handles that when you pass away? I am in charge if my parents services and they have it spelled out what they want done. And because I love and respect my parents, I’ll do as they wish. If you have family members you don’t feel with do that, you may need to reconsider who’s in charge of that for you. Use a lawyer.

I have my cats cremated. My cat was euthanized on Friday and I had to pay almost $600 for everything (minus an urn since I already have one)

 

[FeebysOwner]

I had, and paid for, all my cat's remains to be cremated separately, and I will choose to believe my wishes were honored. But your choice with the private cremation through a funeral home is an excellent one, that may benefit other members.

I agree with the above - if you can't feel as if you can rely on a relative to follow your wishes, then set up your desires as part of your legal will and if you still don't trust a family member to honor that, then ask the lawyer how to go about paying for a 3rd party to carry them out.

 

[Furballsmom]

I've buried some of my cats on my property, but it upsets me that in 5-15 years I'll have to move and leave my babies behind.

You could put little fences around the area(s) where they are buried, which would indicate that something is special about that space.

Speaking of you selling however, it may be that new owners may not want to have someone's ashes spread on the property even if that is a previous owner, so extra stipulations may need to be made in your will, sort of "if Plan A is not possible or feasible, then carry out Plan B".

 

[di and bob]

I would specify in a will that I wanted my, and my cat's ashes, to be comingled. If not, have your urn and your cat's urns to be buried in a cemetery in the cremation section. from what I have learned about cremations, churches frown on separating the ashes, some here, some there. If scattered it needs to be all the ashes. So as long as you and your cats are all together, everything should be fine. Being buried in a cemetery would solve all your problems, just as long as everyone knows your wishes.
I'm going to be buried with the hair of my dearly departed in my coffin. If I had their ashes I would specify I want the urns in the coffin with me. I put pictures of my dad's beloved dog in with him. Know your funeral home and make sure they know, if you move, make them aware.
The reason your cat's ashes may 'feel' different in weight is that the fire may be much hotter than what was used on the other, or their body composition, such as bone density, etc. may be different.
I'm so glad you know what you want NOW, it will give you a lot of peace of mind. Bless you......

 

[di and bob]

PS We buried our beloved cats up next to the house and then put a big cement patio over them. i doubt anyone would dig it up, not until we are long gone anyway. If you put little cement markers up on your graves, and tell any new owners about the burial spot, most people respect the location of graves. I know I would anyway.
we used to put our cats in little coffins when buried until the spot started caving in because the wood rotted and their bodies decomposed. That was horrible. so now we bury them in a beloved blanket.

 

[KK300]

We had our Sammy cremated. His ashes are in a decorative box which sits in a cat bed in our bedroom, together with his favourite toy and one of my shirts.

When my time comes, he will be buried with me.

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

When I lost my boy in February, we buried him ourselves in his favourite blanket. The vet who came to the house to put him to rest said this was highly unusual in his experience and that most people want them to take the body of their dear cat away.
For me, it felt wrong to let him go. That’s in no way a judgement on anyone else’s choices, I believe it’s individual to every pet and every person that cares for them. He was an indoor cat who had lived his entire life, besides a few early months, in this house. It was his realm and it was important to me that he stayed here. My girl will join him soon when her tumour progresses.
We more than likely will move at some point but that doesn’t bother me too much, I waged him to be here not so much for me but because this is the only home he’s ever known.
I’m of the belief that the earthy remains don’t matter so much when it comes to souls. I know I’ll see my boy and girl again along with all the other souls I’ve lost in my life be they human or animal. And proximity of remains will matter not.
I realise this is something that’s important to you and so you should make your wishes happen in any which way you can but rest assured, you’ll be with them all one day regardless of cremation or burial or house moves. They are part of you and you them. You’ll be reunited no matter what.

 

[doomsdave]

Hmmm.

Interesting question! Over my decades of cattiness I’ve not had many where I had a choice about how to cross the rainbow bridge and what to do with kitty’s mortal remains. Many have disappeared, mostly victims of coyotes. Some I’ve found pieces of, likewise. A few I gave away prior to going back to school back in 1989 - hope they had love! One did, I know for sure.

Poor lady Zika, had liver failure and turned all yellow. I should have buried her in the garden, but had the vet cremate her. A palm tree would have made a great grave marker.

 

[Antonio65]

I'm late in this thread, but I'm going to write my own opinion on this.

When I had to deal with a cat's death for the first time, I decided to bury her in my yard. After all, she would have been the only pet buried, so what's the issue?
Then I had to bury another one, then a third one.
At that moment I thought I had to switch to a different solution, and it was in that period of time that the first pet crematorium started its business here.

Since then, I had about ten cats individually cremated, where I can receive my urn back.
I trust the service completely, because they let me attend and follow the whole process, so I'm 100% sure that the ashes I'm having back are from my pet.
In my country (Italy), pet cremation is rather affordable, so I don't mind if I have to spend that money for a pet that I loved.

Having my urns with me, at home, allows me to bring them with me should I move home. Actually, I'm considering having my three buried cat taken out of the ground should I move.

By the way, in three hours I'll have to attend to the cremation of a cat of my colony. I'm not regretting the money I'm going to pay.

 

[iPappy]

I'm late in this thread, but I'm going to write my own opinion on this.

When I had to deal with a cat's death for the first time, I decided to bury her in my yard. After all, she would have been the only pet buried, so what's the issue?
Then I had to bury another one, then a third one.
At that moment I thought I had to switch to a different solution, and it was in that period of time that the first pet crematorium started its business here.

Since then, I had about ten cats individually cremated, where I can receive my urn back.
I trust the service completely, because they let me attend and follow the whole process, so I'm 100% sure that the ashes I'm having back are from my pet.
In my country (Italy), pet cremation is rather affordable, so I don't mind if I have to spend that money for a pet that I loved.

Having my urns with me, at home, allows me to bring them with me should I move home. Actually, I'm considering having my three buried cat taken out of the ground should I move.

By the way, in three hours I'll have to attend to the cremation of a cat of my colony. I'm not regretting the money I'm going to pay.

I'm sorry for your recent loss Antonio65
I've considered exhumation as well if I should ever have to move....but I could not do it myself at all, and IDK who to ask to do such a thing.