Confusion anger and depression

[ohioskies]

image.jpg

• ohioskies
• Jan 2, 2016

Hello everyone. I signed up for this website in the hopes of finding some sort of comfort and potential explanation as to how I lost my cat that did not even make it to his 2nd birthday. I greatly appreciate anyone who takes the time to read and reply, I'll begin the story of want transgressed the past week and the horrendous experience I had with the Vets.

I am a young man (24), who honestly never had the biggest soft spot for cats, I used to be a dog person. My girlfriend loves cats, so I started opening up to them. About a year and a half ago we took in a tiger cat named Jäger from a friend who had to get rid of him due to roommates being allergic. We took him in making our home have 3 cats total. The cats have always been drawn to my girlfriend rather than me, but jäger is the one cat that naturally was drawn to me, he became my best buddy. He would hang out with me all night and day and sleep next to me. He was very social and loved to play.. And eat!

Everything went downhill a week ago or so.. Jäger started acting strange one day and was withdrawn from the other cats, not acting playful and sitting in corners seeming lethargic. I thought at first it could be a hairball or something minor. This all happened around Christmas and the weekend so it was awful timing as far as finding vet care. We were going to bring him in Monday morning to the humane society , but Sunday it got worse. He stopped eating and drinking water, besides eating a little wet food. We got really worried when he started breathing strange, in short breaths. We decided to bring him to the emergency vet Sunday night.

The emergency vet was a terrible experience. It was $100 just to talk through the door. We talked to the vet a total of a few minutes. He squeezed the cat in a few spots, and listed what seemed like a google list of 10 things it could be from hairball to leukemia. He then said he was going to give X-rays and blood tests, and I stopped to get the price before he did them.. It ended up being almost $800. As a recent college grad we are not able to spend this kind of money on just the X-ray and blood test. We had to pay our $100 and head out, learning absolutely nothing. There was no sympathy from anyone there, very awkward experience.

The very next morning we brought him in to the humane society, having to wait 4 hours as a walk-in. We ended up paying a few hundred for the appointment and X-ray/blood test, and they said they would call us in a couple hours. We ended up getting a call saying he was OK, just had an infection and needed antibiotics. We were very happy to hear this and thought everything would be fine. What transgressed at the humane society was a terrible experience.

We got there and walked to the back, where our kitty was on an operating table with a oxygen tube in his nose.. He looked terrible. The vet took us in a room with X-rays. This vet sounded like she had NO idea what she was talking about. She barely spoke English and had a very thick Spanish accent. This is literally a quote of how she explained the X-rays.. "Uhm ya so he has like this shadowy thing in his stomach area I don't know what that is but ya that's not good ya know? He also has like a bigger kidney here ya know? And also theres this thing around his heart which idk what it is but it will probably require surgery ya know?" All the while I'm thinking.. NO I DONT KNOW THATS WHY IM HERE. I was told on the phone he'd be fine, and she was telling me the opposite..

She gave me prescriptions for antibiotics and a nebulizer and I asked how he would be if we filled these and took him home. Now she says,"oh no he needs emergency care at a bigger facility! He needs to be put in an oxygen chamber overnight ( which costs $100s per hour". So, she literally made no sense and kept saying different things. I finally talked to a vet tech who spoke English THANK GOD and told me that he was in a lot of pain. She said even if I spent the thousands for everything he'd only have a 10% chance of survival. My parents and the vet tech recommended putting him down.. I had to make the terrible gut wrenching decision. It was $90 to put him down then they tell me it's an extra $100 JUST TO STAND WITH HIM AS HE DIES. For a humane society, this price gouging is pretty inhumane. We are all crying (I never cry) as we go to pay for the euthanization. Then they tell me instead of 90, it is $140. I ask why, they tell me it's 50 more for the antibiotics they gave him while we were on the way. Real nice to charge someone for antibiotics on a cat about to be put down.

I walked out in a daze, utterly confused and angry as how my young cat could be fine one day and dead a few days later. No one cares about us or the animal, just the money. I have been trying to find explanation and one possibility I was thinking was he had asthma and got an infection that is much more fatal for asthmatic cats. I know it's hard to guess from just this story, but if anyone has ANY possibilities of what the heck happened I'd really appreciate hearing them. I am not religious and have trouble believing in the rainbow road, though I wish it was true. I am conflicted if I made the right decision, or if I should have spent all the money I have for the possibility he'd live. I am just hoping for some sort of closure with everything. I walk around and am reminded of him in so many ways. I have never been affected by the death of an animal this way before, and the other cats we have just don't have this bond with me. I feel he was stolen way too early from us and I don't know why. I can deal with an animal who lives a full good life, but when it happens so young it really is a whole different story because I need an explanation, something the vet couldn't give me. One thing she said was he could of even gotten an infection from the smell of candles and cleaning supplies? I am a novice cat owner so I really don't know all these things. Anyway, if you made it to the end of the story i really appreciate it

 

[margd]

This really is an appalling story. I am not even sure where to start about the vet "care" you received. It hurts so much to lose a loved cat under any circumstances but what you went through is quite unforgivable. I am really sorry for your loss of dear Jäger and that he and you went through such an ordeal.

I don't know what may have caused Jäger's illness though maybe others might have some ideas about that. The situation at the ER vet is unfortunately not uncommon - a lot of members have posted on experiences where ER vets seem to be in it just for the money. Not all, of course, but enough that it is a legitimate problem.

The situation at the Humane Society is really shocking. I have NEVER heard of someone being charged to stay with their fur family member during euthanization. That is positively inhumane to owner and pet. Most vets encourage your presence. Mine actually set aside a room for us to be together before, during and after for as long as I wanted.

The business about getting an infection from smelling scented candles is such nonsense that I wonder if the language barrier came into play. It is really hard to know how much was incompetence and how much was language barrier in this case, but it does seem at least some incompetence was involved judging from the description of the XRay. Even if the vet didn't know the definite cause for the abnormalities, she certainly should have known possible reasons for them and told you so you would know what you might be dealing with.

Telling you over the phone your cat was going to be okay and then recommending euthanasia once you actually got there has to be one of the worst breakdowns in communication I have ever heard.

The lack of compassion for what you and your boy were going through is very troubling. Even though this was obviously a very busy clinic, there is no excuse for that.

I also don't think they should have charged you for the antibiotics.

It would be a great thing if you contacted the person or people in charge of this clinic and let them know about your experience. They need to know what happened in order to take steps to prevent a repeat performance. It is possible this is just a poorly managed clinic but it is worth an official complaint.

I can not imagine the pain you must feel losing your dear Jäger like this. He sounds like a very special boy who loved you very much. And his photos show how beautiful he was. You gave him a good life which means a lot. I am so sorry for your heartache.

 

[stephanietx]

I am so sorry for your loss and the experience you had with the vets you saw.  I could well understand why you're so upset and angry.  I would definitely bring this to the attention of the humane society's director.  I've never heard of a vet or any shelter charging you to stay in the room while a pet is euthanized.

As for what caused the death, there is no way to know unless a necropsy (animal autopsy) is done.  He could've had a tumor or even some kind of disease. 

I am so glad Jager had you to love him, even though it was a shorter time than you would've liked.  He knew love, companionship, safety, and warmth.  You provided a great home for him. 

I hope this experience doesn't turn you off to cats.  Again, I'm so sorry for what you've been through.

 

[ohioskies]

Thanks for the replies margd and Stephanie I appreciate it. I know a necropsy is key to finding what killed him exactly, just wondering if anyone had seen a similar situation and what it ended up being in their instance.

So, I looked into why they charge for being present at the euthanization. The place I went was closed, but I called another one that DOES charge and asked exactly why a place would do this. The response was confusing and a little troubling. The guy I asked had to put me on hold and get an actual vet to answer first off. The vet tells me there's an extra charge because an IV catheter has to be put on the cat that makes the death peaceful and gradual To which I obviously say .. "Well why wouldn't that be used already?! You don't use something that makes the death peaceful unless the owners there?" The vet then said that when the owner isn't there they simply put a shot in the cats back and it dies. None of this really made sense to me, and it sounded extremely sketchy. Feeling worse about the whole situation.

Do people think it was the right decision? Or should I have cleared out all my money for the fractional chance he'd make it?

 

[kittens mom]

And in the middle of all this chaos you were able to make what sounds like the best decision possible for your cat. It takes a lot of fortitude to be faced with this kind of behavior coming from professionals and still be able to make a rational decision.

As many of us have learned cats are experts at hiding medical issues. You must not blame yourself. As soon as you seen he needed help you sought it out.

Understand the ER vet could not diagnose your cat without a through exam. And that they are likely not in charge of the rates and fees you are asked to pay.  You made the right choice seeking out further medical attention even though the process was beyond rude and frustrating. One way to help you find some answers is to call and ask for a sit down with the director of this shelter.  Is there a process to file a complaint ? Ask for a vet that you can understand to run you through your cats medical treatment so you have a better understanding of what happened. The antibiotics were given before you had consented to euthanasia and they are bound to continue reasonable treatment. Asking an owner to pay extra to make sure their pet is show respect and compassion in their last moments is beyond wrong.

Despite all the feelings of grief and anger you have understand that just from your description of your cats condition you made the right choice for him under horrible circumstances and that has caused you great distress beyond the normal feelings of guilt, hopelessness and sorrow we all feel no matter how well the vets handle it. Our vet sobbed with us and believe me it doesn't make it any easier. You got put through the wringer and your feelings are valid.

And I am so truly sorry for your loss. It's never fair.

 

[donutte]

WOW. I can't even imagine what you went through, I am so sorry you and your boy had to go through all of that. That is horrible. I can only reiterate what others have said about speaking with the director. i'm floored at the difference between what was said on the phone and what ended up happening. I almost wonder if they were looking at the wrong chart when they called you. Not that that is any excuse - that's horrible and means they require a LOT more training to ensure that never, ever happens again.

None of this helps to ease your pain, I know. Only time will do that. But please know you are in my and many others' thoughts.

 

[ellag]

wow, what a horrible ordeal for you and your cat to go through! i'm a nurse and i can tell you i've never had a patient in 32 years get an infection from smelling a candle or cleaning supplies. that is utter hogwash. charging you $100 just to be in the room for the euthanasia is just criminal. those IV catheters come 100 in a box so they might cost 25 cents a piece. i can't understand how they could charge someone who is grieving and upset just to be in the room! that is just unbelievable and any vet that does that should have their license revoked. i would definitely complain to the humane society--i would have paid the $90 for the euthanasia and told them to sue me for the rest. as to what really happened to your cat, there is no way i could even guess with what that vet told you who didn't speak english well. it sounds like she didn't have a clue herself. i'm very sorry this happened to you!

 

[fyllis]

I am so sorry for your loss. Regardless of the circumstances, it is NEVER easy to lose a pet. 

I'll admit, I am completely dumbfounded by the erroneous charges in all respects! Years ago, I took a kitten to the ER at 4:00 in the morning and he had to be PTS and the total bill for exam, x-rays and euthanasia was $120.00. There would have been an additional $20 had I wanted them to dispose of his remains, but I took him home and buried him with the many other cats I've lost over the years.

Where in Ohio do you live? The reason I ask is because I lived in Ohio the vast majority of my life (in the Cincinnati area) and I have never been to a Vet that charged those kind of prices! Just this past Monday, I had one of my Boys in for a late-night visit (my Vet has regular hours, as well as ER after-hours) and the exam, blood work, stool specimen, probiotics and an antibiotic cost a total of $69.47! And a follow-up phone consult 3 days later was at no charge. I have NEVER heard of charging extra to be in the room with your pet; nor have I ever paid such horrendous prices for any type of visit!

As far as surmising what was wrong with Jager, it would only be a guess. It doesn't sound as if the Vet was adept or even qualified to read an x-ray, much less had the ability or knowledge to properly diagnose and/or treat your cat (or ANY animal, for that matter!). What is done, is done and there is no going back and changing things, but I strongly suggest you and/or your girlfriend start researching now for Veterinarians and Emergency Clinics in your area for future reference. Ask lots of questions, set up an introductory interview/meeting with the Vet and request a tour of the facility...for starters.

I have a list of phone numbers and directions for my Vet and both of their other office locations, as well as the closest two Emergency Vet Clinics in my area posted on my refrigerator. Always be prepared!

 

[nurseangel]

It breaks my heart to read of your experience.  I'm so sorry to you and your girlfriend for the loss of Jager.  

 

[zed xyzed]

I am so sorry you lost Jäger, losing a loved pet has to be one of the most painful experiences. But the way you and your family were treated during this awful time is disgusting.  I hope you realize that not allowing your cat to suffer any longer was an act of mercy and kindness. He sounded like a very special boy.

 

[ohioskies]

Thanks again everyone. Fyllis, I actually live in fort Myers Florida now. Not sure if it's a Florida thing or something. I think I'll take everyone's advice and try to talk to someone higher up with the humane society. Although the money was a ripoff, I'm thinking I made the right decision to put hm down rather than drawing out the pain. It's just hard when it's so sudden with no explanation whatsoever!! I also regret not being with him at the last moment he had, hopefully it was peaceful.

 

[margd]

Thanks for the replies margd and Stephanie I appreciate it. I know a necropsy is key to finding what killed him exactly, just wondering if anyone had seen a similar situation and what it ended up being in their instance.

So, I looked into why they charge for being present at the euthanization. The place I went was closed, but I called another one that DOES charge and asked exactly why a place would do this. The response was confusing and a little troubling. The guy I asked had to put me on hold and get an actual vet to answer first off. The vet tells me there's an extra charge because an IV catheter has to be put on the cat that makes the death peaceful and gradual To which I obviously say .. "Well why wouldn't that be used already?! You don't use something that makes the death peaceful unless the owners there?" The vet then said that when the owner isn't there they simply put a shot in the cats back and it dies. None of this really made sense to me, and it sounded extremely sketchy. Feeling worse about the whole situation.

Do people think it was the right decision? Or should I have cleared out all my money for the fractional chance he'd make it?

Well, I'm more appalled than ever. I've had to have two cats euthanized and both vets followed the same procedure. First they gave my cat a shot to sedate him and then, when he was asleep, they gave a second injection to actually euthanize him. I don't remember what I paid but it was probably about $100.

 

[jennyr]

I have never heard such a horrible story. The lack of communication, the inhumanity to you and your cat, and the greed involved, appal me beyond speech. Every vet I have ever know in 60 years of cat ownership has been sympathetic at those last moments, has wanted me there, and has never made any extra charge. And yes, normally they give you a few minutes to say goodbye and to be with him afterwards. A sedative is the usual procedure and then an injection, which can very, either in the leg or here in France they do it straight into the heart. But the cat knows nothing of it.

I am so sorry for your experience, especially for losing a cat that wormed his way into your heart despite your previous doubts about them. It is not surprising you feel rage and incomprehension. There are no words that help with your feelings, they have to be worked through. But I agree with the others that you should take it up with the Humane Society at least, then maybe others will not have to go through such agony.

 

[jcat]

I'm very sorry about your loss of Jäger, especially under such distressing circumstances at the humane society. it's too late to change anything for you and Jäger, but talking to the director might change somebody else's experience.

RIP, Jäger. Your life was way too short.

 

[di and bob]

My heart goes out to you, the distress you were going through was more then enough without such appalling services given by people who are paid by you to give you answers.  I would turn them into the Better Business Bureau, after checking with other vets to see what services they charge for,and definitely look around for another vet. I've had vets come to our house to decrease stress with no extra charge, not even a office visit charge. I've also had them not charge at all for the euthanization because he stated we had been through enough without being charged for it! I  pray I can give you hope that their ARE good, compassionate vets out there.

None of this helps the pain of losing such a sweet little guy, I wish it could have turned out different. Death at that young of age is often tied into heart problems.You have been greatly traumatized in a time that is traumatizing in itself, you are right to feel anger, helplessness, and above all a tremendous loss in your life. You did the only thing that was really open to you, your little one would never have wanted you to go deplete your savings to pay for something that wan't gauranteed to prolong a normal life. Please try not to dwell on this, I know it hurts so bad but it really was the only thing to do. You had no way, or time, to examine your options, I honestly don't see what you could have done different.  You can turn all this into something positive if you direct it to changing that corrupt and insensitive system that these vets are using into a campaign to change it. Let your story be known, tell the world how you were treated at these specific offices, you have a start now by letting this site know of it. You can hurt them where it hurts the most for people like this, in their wallets. If they come back on you, nothing can come of it if you are telling the truth on how you were treated.  Start with finding who is the top boss and going to them with your story, you never know, they may be unaware how their business is being run. It won't bring your sweet boy back but it may help the next precious little one. Your little one would be proud. 

    He knew he was so loved. and he returned your love twofold. The world lost a precious star when he left, but the heavens gained another shining angel. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, remember to kiss your remaining babies, they are missing him too. Take care........RIP beautiful Jager, you will never be forgotten and will be held in loving hearts forever!

 

[cataan]

It pains me to write this but this is what I infer:  the extra $ was for the sedative to make him unconscious (like prepping for surgery).  This would mean they instead stopped his heart with the euthanizing agent without first putting him under.  For example, when I had to have Flash euthanized in 2010 because he was suffering during the end stage of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a vet came over and first gave him a sedative that made him unconscious (again, like having general anesthesia for surgery) and let us hold him for a minute while he was asleep.  Then, after he was unconscious, she gave him a shot that stopped his heart.

I would take what happened to the highest level of that organization.  I'd also check the state regulations for veterinarians and consider filing a regulatory action against the vet if it is appropriate (you need to see the regulations first).  Was the vet actually licensed in the state (as opposed to another location or perhaps waiting for licensing results)?  She sounds clueless but obviously I was not there.

You will grieve over this for a long time and there is nothing wrong with that.  You will stop grieving at some point but you will always have a place in your heart for Jager and you will be sad from time to time.  I know this from experience with my cat Back - I've thought of him every single day for over 18 months.  Every.  Single.  Day.  And I still get tears in my eyes.  Ignore anyone who says you're making too much of what happened -- you are not, he was your friend/child all rolled into one.  It is sad to say, but the only productive thing you can do is learn from this situation and make sure it never happens to another cat. 

Condolences to you and to Jager.

FYI:  I too thought I was a dog person all my life until 2004, when little Peanut wormed his way into my heart (he later went with the ex-gf when we broke up).  My life changed forever from that day forward.  My best friend Back was only seven when he died in 2014, and the circumstances strongly suggest that I accidentally killed him, so believe me I know what guilt feels like.  You're not alone in wishing you could go back in time, wishing you had done something different, wishing for just one opportunity to make it right.  But, like me, I'm sure you know that those wishes simply cannot happen, and all you can do is go forward having learned from the situation.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I am both heartbroken and speechless.  All of the best advice is given, so I will only add my sincerest condolences on the loss of your beloved Jager.  I lost the dog I grew up with when I was about your age, and I remember to this day how deeply I felt that.  It never becomes easier to lose a pet, but with age, you better know what to expect.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers, that you will find comfort, and with time, joy in remembering your beloved cat.

 

[kittens mom]

Well, I'm more appalled than ever. I've had to have two cats euthanized and both vets followed the same procedure. First they gave my cat a shot to sedate him and then, when he was asleep, they gave a second injection to actually euthanize him. I don't remember what I paid but it was probably about $100.

This comes with fair warning. While my situation is different the pursuit of answers and some measure of justice for my cat are the same. Your state should have the State Veterinary Board where you can file a complaint. Your complaint generates an investigation and will force the people who interacted with you and your pet to answer. Not only were we not charged extra to sit in a comfortable room and say goodbye to our Kitten the clinic waived the fee and she most certainly did NOT get a shot in the back and left to die. The idea that you would be charged extra to make sure your pet dies a humane death is barbaric. Especially since you say you went to the Humane Society.

My dear. It will extend your grieving process and tear you apart each time you have to deal with it. There are no guarantees you will get the result you want. It will never answer exactly why you lost your beloved cat. What it does have the possibility of doing is making the professionals that fell down on the job accountable in some small way for their callous and heartless behavior. And maybe just maybe keep that person from inflicting this on the next victim.

I would say the public needs to be aware of their idea of humane disposal of unwanted animals or the ones they take in at low cost to help distraught owners. One small human can make a mighty stink. Never forget that.

 

[dbljj]

OMG I guess it does depend on the place you take a pet to. Years ago I asked if we could be there for mom's old tomcat to be put to sleep and was told no. So we paid $25.00 and left him. He probably had cancer anyway , it costs 300.00 to find out. Once the vet checked his mouth, etc he really thought it was cancer..and we had made the right decision. neither us or Mom had any money for vetcare..I think back in the day they just gassed a bunch at a time( do NOT know for sure). However when I took Tigger to be put down the lady was very insistent that IF I chose to stay in the room, or NOT stay in the room the procedure would be identical. She was definitely a CAT person, and after she had  one of hers done took her over 4 years to deal with it, wishing she had NOT stayed in the room.

    Told me that they do the anesthesia shot first, put in the IV, bring him back out to me and then administer the drug to stop the heart. that occasionally they may meow, kick their feet, etc. which is very disturbing to some people.I said it would NOT bother me and I was going to be there til the end and I wanted the body back to bury at home.

           he went so peacefully, his little head he laid slowly in my hand and his front leg just stretched out. I was kissing and stroking him the entire time til she assured me his heart had stopped. Entire cost was $164.45, which was fine with me however 25 years ago, I doubt I could have paid it...

        I would report it also: however do NOT blame yourself. It already over; you memorialize him and remember his antics for years to come, think of it as a celebration of his life. I put up a photo of mine and a sweet poem on my locker at work, and on our bookshelf at home

          Hearts and prayers from this site I hope help you also. our furbabies are our children , as much as children are our children. You love them as a member of your family.Anyone who fails to acknowledge that I truly feel sorry for.Pr​ayers and positive thoughts coming your way!!

 

 

[ohioskies]

Thanks again everyone for all the advice and support, it's been very helpful. I'm currently trying to find a contact for the board of directors. I've found a list of their names on the website but it doesn't list any contact info for them, just the clinic itself, go figure