Complicated Relationships Between Cats

[3fatcatz]

This is a long post so please bear with me.
Two years ago we adopted our daughters kitten (5 months old) and added her to our family of 3 resident cats. She bonded with one of our cats that was the same age and generally was tolerated by the other residents.
Our one older female resident was bonded with our big orange boy and he seemed to be the KING among the females.This older female never had any issues with the new kitten even as she grew older. They didn't snuggle but did interact and didn't have any spats or fights,not even hissing or growling.

Turns out the now 2 year old new kitten has chronic cystitis and was peeing everywhere but the litter box.We consulted our vet, put her on special diet and a medication to help her and she was doing great

Then this past December,our big boy passed away unexpectedly and the female that was bonded with him went into a depression and she started taking her angst out on the newer female and she also started spraying everywhere.She would bully the newer cat and start fights.

Of course with chronic cystitis, any stress can cause a flare up and sure enough the newer female started peeing everywhere again because of the bullying the older female was causing.
We gave the newer cat a room of her own so she could de stress when she needed it and the other cats are not allowed in her room.It has her bed and other things she loves and she does use it all the time and sleeps in there overnight.

We also took the older female to the vet and put her on a medication to help with her stress and stop her spraying.

We realize that the older female still misses her buddy and things have calmed down a bit between her and the youngest female but there is always room for improvement. Both cats have been on medication now for a year.

The younger female has made amazing progress in that she rarely has a flare up now, is more playful and a much happier cat.We can never rehome her because rescues in my area will not take on a cat that has cystitis.

I always felt that our big male added a kind of balance to this group of three females and also kept them in line somewhat.

My question is (finally) is it a good idea now to bring in a male kitten (as we miss our big boy)

Thank MEW

 

[Alldara]

You won't know if a cat has cystitis until it develops. It can develop at any time.

Bringing another cat home will likely cause a flare up on both your girl who sprays and your younger cat with cystitis no matter when you do it. You'll need vet bills aside for that. There are things that can reduce the risk, but it's best to plan as if it will happen.

You'll need to ensure there is enough "territory" for all cats. One litter per cat plus one, at least in two different areas of the home, multiple water dishes in different spaces, etc.

I don't know if I would recommend a male cat to your home to be honest. Male cats usually wrestle in to their teens and function best with another similar aged male playmate. Female cats usually stop wrestling within a few years. I don't know your cats personally though. Males are also more likely to develop cystitis than a female cat. So without a playmate, and with a potential bullying situation (she could turn her bullying onto the new cat), you're likely to end up with another cat developing cystitis.

It may not be what you'd like to hear, but you have two cats in your home who have stress issues. That's a signal that your cats don't feel they have enough territory in the space that's available to them. Adding another cat will always add to that issue, not take away from it. I'd recommend to wait until you only have two cats to adopt another.

Cats can take 6 months to a year to mourn. They need that time. Adding a new cat will not solve your cat mourning. It will not stop them missing their bonded cat. It will only add stress to one of the most stressful situations in life, grief.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I don't know if these TCS articles will be of any help, but taking a look at them can't hurt.
Do Cats Mourn? - TheCatSite
Feline Idiopathic Cystitis - How To Improve Your Cat's Quality Of Life - TheCatSite
Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease (flutd) - TheCatSite

 

[Mamanyt1953]

In this case, I'd wait until the two females achieve a peaceful coexistence for at least a year. The last thing you need is a stress-related recurrence of either the cystitis OR the spraying in the other female. I know it is hard to wait, but in this case, it is probably safer.