Completly betrayed! (LONG!)

[sadieandziggy]

Hears what I think probably happened that night that John and Danielle came over. I think that Kendra said no, and they *promised* to behave. She is too weak to trust, as someone has already said.

I think that you shouldn't kick her out, but make sure that she goes somewhere when you do, and take her key off her. You can get one of your other friends to deal with the cats. This isn't really Kendra's fault. She is just too gullible and weak. She gives in too easily and is easily lead. It sounds like John and Danielle have become manipulative, and she is an easy target to get them what they want. You just need to avoid future events where it is possible for her to go against you (unintentionally, if you know what I mean.)

 

[lizsto1]

I am so glad you are all giving her the same advice I try to tell her. It is good for her to hear it from others "outside" of the loop.

When I found out Kendra was staying there with them I was FURIOUS however, she being an adult needed to once again find out that you cant trust anyone.

In some of your responses you talked about freeloaders and people who use people...if only I could get her to take the blinders all the way off and look at all the people in her circle and see them for what they really are..........

 

[jaspers mummy]

Well I hate to say it but I would kick her out and right off your other friend and hope he wakes up to himself at some point I would not have anyone in my home with my kitty who I could not trust how are you gunna feel if next time you come home and your kittys are gone or hurt with no trust you just don't know what will happen

 

[norachelhere]

Kendra is the only one that lives with me now. John lives with Danielle in her parents house. I am going to hear what Kendra has to say about it, and then I am going to most likely ask her to leave, especially if she denies they were there when I ask her about it.

I have already cut John and Danielle from my life . . . Kendra does not see what kind of horrible people they are. I wish she would wake up and realize it but nothing I can do will make that happen. . .

The worst part of this whole situation is that Kendra seemes like such a genuinely good person. Sometime the best actors are the ones you least expect I suppose. . .

 

[jugen]

Oh hon,
dealing with freeloading friends with zero brains is the worst.
So she has no where to go, I truly can understand that since most likely she disrespected the other people's places she was staying at and the people got angry about it, thus sending her packing like you're thinking about doing.

So, ok you're going to ask her about it, are you sure you want to hear anything about what went down in your house while you were gone?
Honestly, I'd just tell her, I'm sorry, if you can't respect my rules, then you can't stay here.
As for the drugs being in your house, even the stupidest person knows drugs are illegal so why would she put your house and animals at risk letting John the drug user bring them in in the first place?
I'd never let anyone stay with us anymore, down on their luck or not, I'm sorry but that's just the way I am. I am very cautious with my animals and trust only a select few to care for them when I am not at home. (Not to mention the fact that when we owned rental property we were burned more then once by DH's friends being down on their luck) If I ever found out someone did anything to my animals (especially if I was letting them live in my home/my cats home I mean) I'd flip and they'd never enjoy life again.
So for me it's better if noone lives with us for that reason alone.
So to you IMO I'd tell Kendra I'm sorry you need to go and live with John and Danielle because you can't live here anymore because you can't be trusted when I'm not here and you don't respect my rules. I went out on a limb taking you in and you disrespected me even though I told you not to bring them in my house. So pack you stuff you have a week. I'm sorry it had to end this way.

 

[goldenkitty45]

Legally you have to give Kendra a 30 day eviction notice since she's in your home now.

I would not be friends with any of them from now on - no matter WHAT they whine and cry about. Sometimes you have to take the hard/tough road.

Each adult is responsible for their own actions - time for them to take that responsibility - you've done enough for them now.

Also because of problems like you are experiencing, anytime we have a situtation like that for a friend or family where they need to stay for a time, they sign a written contract between us spelling out our "rules". DH's brother is staying with us right now. First week he was with us (and we were out of state) we had some problems. As of now, we cannot trust him to be reliable with the animals.

But he knows that rules and he knows the consequences of not following them.

 

[tigerontheprowl]

Honestly, I would kick Kendra out right now. If she is going to disrespect you and completely ignore your rules for the house, then she doesn't deserve to be living there.

 

[cococat]

I think Goldenkitty's idea of a contract is great. Make it on your own terms, in writing, before you let anyone move in again. Get with a lawyer if you have to, be very clear.

Sorry this is happening. I would let any of them continue to use you. Stupidity is not a valid excuse and won't get them very far. They probably do need professional help, all of them, like someone else said, they need more than a place to sleep, they need help beyond what you can give, and they are going to continue to bring you down, on purpose or not. This situation sounds like it can go from bad to worse very quickly. Cut ties and move on.